What if There's Nothing Left Tomorrow
by lullys
Summary: They were best friends since childhood. But a lot of things have changed in both their lives, and now they have to deal with a whole new feeling - and its consequences. A David Cook fan fiction. OFC for David.
1. Bro

**Prologue**

"Bro, you did it! You are the new AMERICAN IDOL!"

He held me tight, and he was crying a lot. While hugging me, he said:

"I cannot believe this is happening, Anne! I just can't! "

And I replied (also crying):

"But I can! I knew it from the beginning! Actually, I always did..."

I always believed that one day Dave was gonna have his chance, he was always very talented, since he was a little boy. Oh, this is not what it seems, I'm not his mother...

**01. Bro**

We've known each other since we're kids, we live next door. He is 4 years older than me, the same age as my brother, Matthew. They were already friends when I was born, and then I completed the trio!

We grew up very close to each other. Dave always tells me I'm the sister he never had, so we call each other "Sis" and "Bro". I was always very happy for having 2 older brothers. He is my best friend, we always share everything, there was never anything about him that I don't know and vice versa... He always protected me, gave me advices… If I had a crush on some guy that he didn't approve, I wouldn't even insist, because I knew he always wanted the best for me. He can tell when I'm sad just by looking at my face, even if I'm not showing, sometimes I think he can read my mind…

He taught me how to play guitar when I was around 12. After learning it, my already huge passion for music just increased, and when I was about 16, I started writing songs (I was always very good with words). He always loved to sing my songs, and I loved hearing them in his voice. I always loved his voice, and as I said, I always knew that one day he would have his chance. He always told me that if one day he recorded a CD, He would record my songs. Nothing would make me happier!

Dave is a bartender at a bar here in town. I love his acrobatics with bottles. He tried to teach me once, but after 18 broken bottles, we gave up… After a lot of struggle, one of his dreams came true: He recorded a CD! It's called Analog Heart, and it has a lot of song that I wrote, like The Truth, Makeover, Don't say a word, etc... It was amazing...

The auditions for the 7th season of American Idol are about to start, the 7th…And David's brother, Andrew, always wanted to try, but never had the guts… But this time, he's trying his luck at Omaha's audition, and Dave is going with him for support.

I decided to go for a walk at night, I didn't want to be home alone, Matthew was out... When I opened the door, Dave was standing there. There isn't even time to be surprised, he shouted:

"SIS! I did it! I'm going to Hollywood!"

His hug was so strong that lifted me in the air.

"Let's go out and celebrate!" He pulled me, tucked me in his car and drove to a bar that we often go to. He got us 2 margaritas and a table. "I feel terrible that my brother didn't make it... He wanted it so bad! After being approved, I asked him if he would be upset with the fact that I was going on and he wasn't. If he did, I would give up Sis… but he was very supportive, he told me I should go on anyway, and he was gonna be there for me.

"Of course he is, Bro… I wouldn't expect less from him… He would never ask you to give up, and I know you would do the same if you were in his shoes…"

We finished our margaritas and he got us 2 more.

"I'm going to Los Angeles, but I want you to email me EVERY DAY, and I'm doing the same... I'm not promising to call everyday because it's expensive and I'm not a rockstar yet... but I'm calling everytime I can... don't forget about me! I' m gonna miss you so much!"

"Of course I'm gonna write everyday... I'm gonna miss you a lot too, but it's your dream... I'm sure you're gonna be amazing... It's inside you Dave... I'm gonna be here supporting you, you're gonna win this show, mark my words!"

I woke up with a hangover, I drank a lot the previous day and as usual, I swore never to drink again... Dave drop me off at home... but I remember us almost falling on the sidewalk while I said:

"If you turn into a rockstar and forget about your friends, I'm gonna kill you!"  
>"Don't worry Sis, I'm gonna be a milionaire and we're gonna party everyday!" he replied laughing.<p>

I went downstairs, and my mom pointed at the table, my letter had finally arrived! Yes, I'm going to Australia! When? TOMORROW!

I couldn't believe it, I wouldn't even have the chance to say good-bye to my friends... but before getting on the plane, I got a message from David, saying that he was going to California...

It was the beginning of a new journey, for both of us...


	2. Broken Glass

**Broken Glass**

When I got there, I met my flat mates... 2 british girls and 2 guys, from Ireland and France. And from that moment on, I was sure that besides taking my cinema classes, which I dreamed a lot about, I was gonna have a lot of fun. Before I went to bed, I missed home... and the memories filled my mind...  
>Dave's habit was pulling my hair, and mine was tickling his belly, which he hated. Being so close to boys was funny, but I was left out of the girl's club at school, although that never really bothered me… the fun was guaranteed with them... We used to travel, throw parties, and some of those girls actually pretended to be friends with me just for the chance of being around them…<p>

In one of these trips, Dave and I had a long talk sitting on the beach. I told him about my first kiss, with Alex, the biggest scumbag in the school... he laughed, and even harder when I told him the guy just ignored me the next day...

I regret it though, Dave told my brother, and he never left me come close to the boy anymore... Matt is very jealous, and he always finds a way to make me look bad with the boys...

After two weeks, I was already getting used to the new life, and I woke up at 5 a.m. with a phone call from my dad... tears rolled down my face with what he said... shaking, I threw the cell phone on the floor.

My brother, Matthew, had a car accident when he was going home from a party, and he was in the hospital. I lost my ground. I hurried to the airport, and caught the first plane back to USA, luckly there was some seats available. It took forever to get there. During the flight, all I could think about was Matt…. ok, he has his faults and everything, but I love my brother very much, as it is with Dave, we were always very close to each other… I had no idea about his condition. What if he were... no, I couldn't even think about that! I'm sure it would be nothing very serious...

I got to Tulsa and hurried straight to the hospital. When I got there, I found my mom and dad with mortified expressions. They hugged me, I was expecting the worst. I wsa already desperate, but my mom said he was alive, but not doing well. The doctor had said it was very serious, he was in a coma and they couldn't tell when (or if) he would get out of it. I went looking for the doctor, because I really wanted to see my brother… He didn't want to allow me to see him at first, but after my beggings and cries, he agreed. It was very sad to see my dear brother attached to those tubes and everything… All I could do was look at him and cry, and pray for everything to be alright. My mom insisted on taking me home, even though I really wanted to stay there, because I must be "tired from the flight". I didn't want to argue, so I agreed. Right after we got home, Andrew (David's brother) rang the bell, and he wasn't even surprised about the fact that I was back. He knew what had happened and wanted news about Matt. I told him what was going on and he was devastated, after all, he also knew my brother since childhood. I asked him if Dave already knew, and he said they hadn't told him yet. We agreed to wait at least for now to see what was going to happen, we didn't want to worry him, because he could lose track of the AI auditions.

I stayed in Tulsa for almost a week, and nothing happened, Matt's situation had not changed. I had no intention of going back to Australia, I was considering giving up the course. But my parents pratically forced me to go back, they said I couldn't waste this opportunity, and Matt would be really upset if he knew I stayed just because of him (and I knew that was true). After thinking a lot, I decided to go back, but I made my parents promise they would call me right after something happened. Before I go, though, I decided to stop in LA to see Dave and tell him in person what had happened to Matt. I didn't tell him I was coming, I found out his room number and knocked on the door.

When he saw me, it was like he got na early christmas present. He hold me very tightly and I could almost see tears of joy in his eyes.

"I cannot believe you came, Sis! It has been so long since I saw someone familiar, and all of the sudden you show up here! I'm so happy!"

I tried to mask my lousy face and smile. The terrible news could wait for a while. We went for a walk in town and I was getting more and more cold feet about telling him the truth. I was trying my best not to show a hesitant look…. It was too easy for him to tell there was something wrong…

"You are not gonna believe it, Anne! Yesterday, I was selected for the Top 24! Isn't it amazing?  
>"Of course it is, Bro..."<br>"I'm starting to get really excited about all of this, you know... At first, I wasn't taking it very seriously, but now I feel I can get very far!"  
>I lost all my courage. I couldn't ruin his happiness by telling him this. He and Matt had been friends since forever, he would be capable of giving up on everything and go back to Tulsa right away, and I knew him very well to tell that's exactly what he would do. I decided I wouldn't tell anything. When I got back to the hotel, I called Drew and told him my decision. He supported me and told me he would make sure nobody told him anything. Next day, I said good bye to Dave and returned to Australia.<p>

I got in the apartment, I meant to tell the guys what was going on, but it was impossible to see or hear anyone with all the smoke and the sound at full blast in the living room... I dragged my bag, I couldn't recognize anybody in the apartment, there was a couple making out on my bed, a girl hugging the toilet in the bathroom... at the balcony, I found the two things I was looking for: fresh air and Kate (the british girl that I already considered almost like a friend)

"Kate, my brother is in the hospital, I wish I could have stayed there with him, I feel guilty for being so far away..."

She said nothing, instead she gave me a glass:

"I'm gonna make you forget about this..."

* * *

><p><em>So, these are the 2 first chapters of the fic. It's kind of long, but I can ensure it's worth reading. I apologize for any english mistakes, this fic was originally written in Portuguese and I'm translating it into English, and I'm not totally fluent, so I guess it won't be 100% correct but I'm trying my best.<em>

_I hope you enjoy it as much as I do, I really love this story, I wrote it with a friend and we had so much fun while writing it._ _And review it, if you can!_

_Oh, and by the way... there are actually 2 fics, they are the same story, but this one is from Anne's point of view and the other one is from David's. I'm gonna work on that one later._


	3. Beyond Repair

**Beyond ****Repair**

The first gulp burned my throat, and the third one, my soul... In an attempt to forget, I did everything I had never done before, and honestly…

It made me feel better.

I woke up late for class, and I didn't even bother, I joined the guys in the living room, there were still beer cans and cigarrette butts all over the floor… I had a bitter taste in my mouth, and Patrick said:

"Well done yesterday, Anne, all of my mates loved your performance of "Girls Just wanna have fun" in the shower!"

I didn't wanna sleep, I didn't wanna think... I Just wanted to have fun... I went to the bank, my parents had deposited the money for the course…

"Kate, guess what?"

"What?"

"Tonight the party is on me!"

...

I checked my e mails... in the inbox, message from David R. C.

"Hey Sis, I miss you! How r u doin? You don't write me anymore... I tried to call your house, your mom said Matt is out of town, I had a dream about him last week.

Love,

David."

I felt like crying, but I left… I had a party to organize...

The apartment had never been so full, I was restless, got wasted, my head was dizzy, the music sounded louder than it actually was…

Patrick's friend was at the bathroom door, I almost fell, he grabbed me:

"Hey babe, are you alright?"

"I guess so, I just wanna find my room..."

He quickly offered to help me...

"I've got it!"

The alarm clock sounded like a shout at my ear, the sun was shining at the window, I was again waking up with the feeling that I had been knocked out... but I knew perfectly well what I had done the previous day…

I was out of my mind, doing only stupid things day after day. I hardly ever attended the class, I always had that bitter taste in my mouth, and the parties always had my attendance, all kinds of them. I just couldn't stop, I was completely frantic.

I was alone in the apartment, sitting on a chair facing the window, looking at the view, in one of the few moments I could stop for a minute. I grabbed my wallet, to check how much money I had left, and a picture fell from it. When I looked at it, I saw my brother and myself smiling, and we were on the Six Flags, in Texas. There was a guitar on the corner of the room, that belonged to one of my roomates. I got it, to play a little bit, try to relieve the pain... music was like a therapy to me. Before I could stop myself, words came naturally and I had already made a new song...  
>Matt and I had a strong connection, in that moment I felt a chill, and I imagined how he would be... It was like we had trade places, and then I could somehow understand his pain, which was actually, my pain…<p>

_I open my eyes_  
><em>I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light<em>  
><em>I can't remember how<em>  
><em>I can't remember why<em>  
><em>I'm lying here tonight<em>

_And I can't stand the pain_  
><em>And I can't make it go away<em>  
><em>No I can't stand the pain<em>

_How could this happen to me_  
><em>I made my mistakes<em>  
><em>I've got no where to run<em>  
><em>The night goes on<em>  
><em>As I'm fading away<em>  
><em>I'm sick of this life<em>  
><em>I just wanna scream<em>  
><em>How could this happen to me<em>

_Everybody's screaming_  
><em>I try to make a sound but no one hears me<em>  
><em>I'm slipping off the edge<em>  
><em>I'm hanging by a thread<em>  
><em>I wanna start this over again<em>

_So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered_  
><em>And I can't explain what happened<em>  
><em>And I can't erase the things that I've done<em>  
><em>No I can't….<em>

_..._

I got a waitress job to pay for my classes, after all, I had spent all of the money…. I'd have to work a lot to gather everything I had spent... Things were getting better, apparently. My mom called to say that Matt finally came out of coma. I felt so relieved, I cried a lot. Two days later, I talked to him on the phone, his voice was weak, but he was apparently fine. I told him I wanted to see him, but he asked me not to go, he wanted me to finish my course, he knew it was my dream and I might not be alive the next day to go back and finish it.

A few days passed, and Matt left the hospital. But since he broke some ribs in the accident, he was having trouble walking, so he would have to go through a treatment and use crutches. It was nothing permanent, thank God, but I felt he was upset about it when I spoke to him on the phone. He told me again that he didn't want me to go back home, and he made sure noone was gonna tell David, he knew he'd go back straight away. He said he would only tell when the show was over.


	4. Accomplishment

**Accomplishment**

The big day had finally arrived.

My journey in Australia was finally over... I felt relieved, but satisfied, with everything that happened there... people I met, the experiences I went through, which made me a much stronger person, I knew exactly who I was, what I wanted and didn't want for my life… and at that moment, all I wanted was to catch my flight and literally fly, I had to get to Hollywood in time for the American Idol final... David didn't know I was coming, but I wanted to be there, I was sure he would win it, and if there's something I learned these past months, is that true friends are important things in life...

I was so nervous, I couldn't get backstage access, I was sitting in the back, but from that distance I could see Andrew, Beth, our friends and a blond chick, who must be Kim, the girl Dave was telling me about in the emails….

There he was, on the stage, his eyes were sparkling... I must confess, Dave was really really handsome... He was looking so good with a beard!

And then, Ryan finally announces: "Daviiiid ... Cook!"

My heart was beating faster and faster, tears were rolling down my face, I would only be happier than this if Matt could have been there…  
>After everybody greeted him, I started going in his direction, my legs were wobbly... he hardly believed when he saw me, there was a huge smile on his face, I ran towards him, he lifted me in the air...<p>

"Bro, you did it! You are the new AMERICAN IDOL!"

...

When we got back in Tulsa, the next afternoon, everybody went to my place, my mom hade cooked us a big lunch. I couldn't wait to see my brother. Right after we got into the house, I saw Matt standing on the corner and I ran to his arms. We hold each other very tight and for a long time.

"How are you feeling?" I felt the tears rolling down...  
>"I'm fine..."<br>"Are you sure? Really? You scared the hell out of me!"  
>"I'm sure, don't worry..."<p>

When I finally let go of him, David was staring at us looking completely confused. It took me a while to understand why, and then I realized he didn't know anything about the accident yet… And I would give anything to vanish when he found out...

"WHAT? You are telling me that my best friend almost died, was in a coma, is having treatment during all this time and NOBODY bothered telling me? I demand to know why I only found out about this now!"

I wish I could dig a hole in the floor and get into it… but I decided to face it, the damage was already done, anyway…

"It was my fault, Bro... I went to LA just to tell you, but I found you so happy and I lost my guts... I requested that no one told you, so you didn't lose focus, or decided to come home… you were doing so well…"

The look he gave me was something between anger and disappointment.

"You couldn't have hidden this from me... you didn't have this right! You know what, I'm not hungry anymore..."

And he slammed the door. Matt hugged me again.

"It was my fault too... I forbade everyone to tell him..."

But that trip had changed me, I would not let this pass, I coudn't stand the fact that David was mad at me. I let go of Matt and ran after him. I didn't even bother knocking.

"You have to listen to me, Dave!"  
>"What if I don't want to?"<br>I locked the door and put the key in my pocket.  
>"You're not getting through this door."<p> 


	5. Changes

**Changes**

"David, I'm sorry, I didn't want to worry you... I had good intentions, you were so happy! I'm sorry!"

"So, you think this is how it works? You do this to me and believes that by apologizing, things will be perfectly fine? I had the right to know, Anne! You disappointed me! He's my Best friend! What if he had died? You would just send me an invitation to the Month's Mind mass?"

"You know what? I should have told you… Maybe you'd act like I did. Do you wanna know how my wonderful trip really was? I drank things I didn't even know that existed. For about 3 weeks, I can't remember being sober. I attended parties thrown by people I don't even know, I saw and did things you can't even imagine. I slept with a guy that I don't even know the last name, just because he took me to my room, as I was to drunk to go by myself. And do you know why I did all of this? To try to forget the fact that my brother was lying on a hospital bed, and I didn't know if he'd be alive the next day! I wanted to forget, I didn't want to suffer, David! See why I didn't want you to know?"

At that point, I couldn't hold back my tears anymore, and neither could him…

He cried, but still looked angered:

"What do you mean, you slept with a random guy? Nice attitude, Anne!"

He never called me by my name...

"And you always judged me, and always said your first time would be special... I bet it must have been very special to wake up next to a completely stranger!"

"Dave, I wasn't feeling well, and you're not helping me with these words..."

"Help? So, you are the one who needed help, while your brother was in a coma you were drinking and throwing little parties, you are such a good sister, he is gonna be very proud when he finds out!"

"You're not gonna tell him, are you?"

"Oh, beyond all of this, now you're a liar? Wow Anne, you were always my best friend, and I thought I could rely on you, actually I relied too much on you…"

I wanted to get on my knees and beg for his forgiveness, but honestly, I believed he would be the first one to understand my pain, to ask how I was doing, and how it was for me to face everything... but at that moment, I gave up on trying to explain to other people how lonely I was feeling…

"Ok, David, I guess you have a new life now, it would be a total waste of your time to stop for a few moments and try to understand, instead of shout like a maniac, right? You know what... I just don't care anymore..."

I unlocked the door and left.

When I got back home, I went straight to my room. Matt wanted to talk, but I didn't feel like seeing anyone at the moment… A lifetime friendship was about to be completely ruined… After a while, I heard the door bell. I opened the door just a little bit and I could see my mom opening the door to David. I wondered if he had come to apologize to me? To say he was very sorry? But my mom didn't call me, instead, she called Matt. He entered the house and the two of them went to my brother's room. I could hear David asking how he was doing. Apparently, his priorities were messed up, he chose to be mad at me first, and just after that, he bothered to find out what had happened to Matt, if he was doing fine. It looks like I'm not the only one who changed...


	6. KimBitch

**KimBitch**

It was weird to spend the days without David and Matt's pranks, Matt had changed too, he was much more reserved…  
>I tried to focus on writing songs, and shooting some stuff for my first cinema project. Sometimes I heard my mom talking to Beth, it seemed David was very busy, with interviews, recordings, photo sessions...<br>I must confess that sometimes I had dreams about the three of us having fun together... I woke up scared from one of these dreams, and I thought I heard David's voice... It must have been only a dream...

I almost fell out of the bed, and I saw him passing by the hall on a red shirt, towards Matt's room, holding hands…. with his girlfriend.

I went to the living room, pretending I was getting my guitar, when I passed by the hall, wearing socks, I heard David saying:

"Always walking around in your socks, you never learn, do you?"

I turned around unaware of the situation, said hello to him and he introduced me to Kim… But he was kind of standoffish... a total stranger, and his girlfriend apparently was a cool girl

Ok, Just apparently.

Dave was gradually coming to my house more often, when he had a break... and he always had that girl on his tail, I was happy on one hand, because I thought she really liked him… But to my astonishment, I found out the hard way that she didn't care about him that much...

I was supposed to spend the whole afternoon at Angie's, but I forgot my camera, and I had to go home and get it… my parent's car wasn't in the garage, the house was empty apparently… I was looking for my camera in my room but I just couldn't find it, and my search was interrupted by a scream coming from Matt's room:

"You're crazy, right?"

"Crazy about you, can't you see it?"

"I can, thank you, and you'd better stop it..."

"Not after this..."

I stood at the door, facing Kim trying to hold and Kiss Matt...

Kim... holding Matt.

They didn't see me, I ran away, I was decided not to make the same mistake twice... I went to David's place, Andrew opened the door. I sneaked into his bedroom, my heart was racing, and then I realized I didn't even now how to tell David, since we weren't that close anymore, apparently... but when I saw that our picture together was still on his nightstand, I felt more confident...

He was shirtless, facing the window...

"David I need to talk to you..."

"Go ahead, Anne.."

"Can you at least look at me?"

He did so, crossed his arms and leaned against the wall…

I lost all my courage for a moment, but I went on:

"Your girlfriend is not what you imagine…"

He lowered his gaze, na staring at me again, he coolly replied:

"I'm used to it... people are usually not what I imagine."

He was facing the window again, and when his green eyes refleted the sunlight, I realized David was different, he seemed worried... but I knew him, I knew that deep down he might be hurt... about something.

I told him everything that had happened, and he didn't believe me, he said I must be crazy, I left his house with a lump in my throat... and the assurance that I had really lost his faith.


	7. Surprise

**Surprise**

3 days had passed, and I didn't talk to David anymore. I felt he was avoiding me. I decided not to insist. I went for a walk at night... I had my mind full of everything that was going on. I brought my guitar with me, he was my confidence partner… I was walking adrift, and before I knew it, I was getting on the bar that David used to work before AI. I loved to go there and watch him doing his acrobatics with bottles... the bar was nearly empty, there were only like 3 people left. But it seemed even emptier somehow...

I sat at the furthest table I could find. I got my guitar and started playing some old songs, some of those that David had recorded… All of the sudden, I felt that familiar inspiration…

I finished the song without truly understand it… where did it come from? Weird...

...

My birthday was coming. I was finally turning 21, and I decided to throw a big party to celebrate. One of my friends said I could use his place, which was very cool. I invited everybody, and I asked Matt to call David too… He said he couldn't confirm, because he had a "full schedule". He was gonna try.

The big day had finally arrived. The party was awesome, everyone was there. The music was powerful and people were very excited. Even some old romates from Australia were there, they had come to visit USA. When I looked at the door, I couldn't believe my eyes…

"LARA!"  
>"ANNE!"<p>

I ran towards her and hold her very tight. Lara was a great friend of mine, who left to live in Brazil a couple of years ago, and since then, we hadn't seen each other. At last, something good was happening after a lot of disasters…

We talked a lot, she introduced me to her brazilian boyfriend, Rodrigo. What a cutie pie! And he was very polite, seemed to be a wonderful person... my friend is so lucky...

"What about this madness, Anne, David is famous now?"

"Tell me about it... I knew this was gonna happen someday..."

"Talking about him... where is he? I haven't seen him..."

"It's because he didn't arrive yet… You know how it is... a lot of obligations now… but he said he'd try to come…"

"What's that look on your face? Is something wrong?"

"No, it's just... we had a little argument, that's all…"

We talked a little bit more and I left to talk to some other people… It was almost 11:45... he was really not coming?  
>I met Joey, a guy who lived nearby and neither Matt nor David were really fans of him, they thought he was a jerk. He asked me to dance and I said yes. We danced for a while with some break for drinks. Things were getting hot, our lips were almost touching…<p>

"Am I interrupting something?"

I nearly jumped. David was standing a couple of meters away, gazing unpleasantly at us.  
>He turned around and began to leave the room. I followed him.<p>

"You are late."

"My interview got delayed. But apparently I wasn't missed at all…"

I was walking very fast and It was hard to follow his steps…. We stopped at the balcony, which was empty.

"Wat the hell were you doing with your arms around that jackass?"

I was getting angry.

"What wrong with you, David? Wanna play the older brother part now, after everything that happened? Just a "Happy Birthday" would have been enough!"

"It's not that, It's just that I don't like this guy and I don't want you near him..."

"Now I can see that you haven't changed a bit David, just your hair... You're still as immature and selfish as you always were..."

"What about you? What has changed about you? I know exactly what to expect from you, always taking risks, always making the wrong choices!"

"That's what you think? Am I always wrong? Am I that predictable to you?"

"Yes, you are! Prove me wrong! Surprise me with something different!"

I couldn't think of anything else... with tears in my eyes, I pulled Dave by his shirt and kissed him. He almost pushed me away... He resisted, but gradually surrendered himself to the kiss, it was tense... he was sweating… I backed away from him and said:

"Different enough for you?"


	8. Since Forever

**Since ****forever**

I ran away, through the middle of the crowd, I wanted to disappear... While I was waiting for the elevator, I was kind of hoping Dave would show up in the hall to say something… anything…. But he didn't.  
>I got into the car and I cried, I heard the same song until I got home, and I locked myself in my room.<br>I was feeling both proud and sorry, but even though there was a mess inside of me, not even for a second I could forget the feeling of his lips on mine, his soft tongue, his stubble was almost hurting my skin, his scent was all over me…  
>I stared at the wall, there were a lot of pictures from our last trip, his smile was contagious, and I hadn't realized it just until now...in a matter of seconds, my childhood friend had become a man...<br>I slept (just a little bit), still smelling his scent, and strangely enjoying it.  
>When I woke up, I was decided to stay out all day long, I had to think about everything that was going on, and how I would react when I met David.<br>I got home late, and Matt was watching TV...

"Dave was here, he was looking for you... he was waiting for you for like 2 hours in your room…"

I hurried to my room to call him and ask what he wanted... I called his cell phone, Kim answered, apparently she was crying...  
>And then I saw my camera lying on my bed…. When I got it, I realized the tape was gone!<p>

_2 days later..._

I was sitting in front of my house with my guitar. It was the best medicine to get rid of tension, and I got deep into my thoughts. I only saw David when he was already sitting next to me.

"Wow, I haven't seen you playing for a while."  
>"Yeah, things change..."<br>"Have you been writing something lately?"  
>"Always, Dave..."<p>

"Show me something new, then…."

I realized he was trying to soften the tension between us, and I decided to try to do the same. I started playing the song I had written at the bar. I was looking deeply into his eyes.

_He looks at me_  
><em>I fake a smile so he won't see<em>  
><em>That I want and I'm needing<em>  
><em>everything that we should be<em>  
><em>I'll bet she's beautiful,<em>  
><em>that girl he talks about<em>  
><em>And she's got everything<em>  
><em>that I have to live without<em>

_He talks to me,_  
><em>I laugh cause it's just so damn funny<em>  
><em>That I can't even see<em>  
><em>anyone when he's with me<em>  
><em>He says he's so in love,<em>  
><em>he's finally got it right,<em>  
><em>I wonder if he knows<em>  
><em>he's all I think about at night<em>

_He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar_  
><em>The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star<em>  
><em>He's the song in the car I keep singing<em>  
><em>Don't know why I do<em>

_He walks by me,_  
><em>can he tell that I can't breathe?<em>  
><em>And there he goes, so perfectly,<em>  
><em>The kind of flawless I wish I could be<em>

_She'd better hold him tight_  
><em>Give him all her love<em>  
><em>Look in those beautiful eyes<em>  
><em>And know she's lucky cause<em>

_He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar_  
><em>The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star<em>  
><em>He's the song in the car I keep singing<em>  
><em>Don't know why I do<em>

_So I drive home alone_  
><em>As I turn out the light<em>  
><em>I'll put his picture down and maybe<em>  
><em>Get some sleep tonight<em>

_He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar_  
><em>The only one who's got enough for me to break my heart<em>  
><em>He's the song in the car I keep singing<em>  
><em>Don't know why I do<em>

_He's the time taken up, but there's never enough_  
><em>And he's all that I need to fall into...<em>

While I was playing, I started feeling something weird in every piece of the song. I couldn't finish it. I apologized, and said I had to get inside. He was surprised. I got in and went straight to my bedroom, and locked the door. I had finally realized what was right there in front of me the whole time. It was him, it had always been him. The song was about him. How come I had never seen this before?


	9. Butterflies

**Butterflies**

I was totally confused, with whole new feelings inside me... All of the sudden, I heard a knock on the door…

"Anne, open up, it's me... what happened?"  
>"It's nothing David, I don't wanna talk right now!"<br>"But I must say... I saw the tape by accident... I saw Kim with Matt, I believe you! You were right this whole time, she's not worth anything! Open the door, so we can talk!"

But I didn't move.

"And now you think just an apology will solve everything? I didn't show you the tape because you were supposed to trust ME, without needing any prove! But you chose to believe this whore that you don't even know than to believe me, who knows you your whole life!"

"I know I made a mistake, but please forgive me! For our friendship!"

He keep talking and talking for a long time, and then I was kind of considering to forgive him. I opened the door...

"Thank you for giving me another chance, you are my best friend, I missed talking to you so much, you know... but tell me what's up with you, we haven't spoken in so long..."

"David, when are you going to stop pretending that kiss didn't exist?"

"It did…."

He was looking everywhere but me, and seemed speechless...

"So, you're saying you felt nothing on that moment?"

"No..."

"You were shaking..."

"It was cold..."

"You were sweating..."

"That happens when I get nervous..."

"So, you were nervous, that's something…"

"Just nervous... what about you?"

"I felt as the world had stopped for a moment…"

"That much?"

I realized that conversation was pointless.

"David, I'm kinda tired, go home, we talk later, ok? I'm gonna try to get some sleep..."

He was a little confused, but agreed. When I was closing the door, I said in a whisper "He didn't understand anything…."

I thought he hadn't heard it. I was facing the other way, and the next second I heard the door opening again, I felt someone grabbing my arm, turning me around, and I felt nothing else, just those arms holding me tight, that beard was rubbing against my skin and his lips were on mine, so intensely as I had never felt before….

Holding me with one arm, he closed the door and pushed me against the wall, making the light turn off…  
>I just didn't know what to do, if I stopped that so things wouldn't get worst, or if surrendered to that amazing kiss... but when I felt his hot breath on my neck, I had no more doubts…<br>I put my hand under his shirt... and I felt the soft skin of his back... he was having chills...

The tension was gradually fading and we were becoming more relaxed with that situation... He was holding me tightly around my waist, against his chest, and walked with me towars the bed... the window was open, I could only see his profile through the moonlight, his arms, his hair, I wish I could look into his eyes, touch every piece of his body...

And then, I heard someone knocking on the door...

"Anne, are you there? We're home already… let's go out and get something to eat?"

It was Matt's voice...


	10. Just Friends

**Just ****Friends**

Dave let me go, and we stared at each other as we were waking up from a dream. Neither of us said a word, he sneaked out of the room so Matt wouldn't see him. I felt frustrated and totally confused. I had just realized I was in love with David, my friend, my lifetime best friend. I didn't even know what to think…

He came home the next day, but pretended nothing had happened. We had a normal conversation, it was hard to believe that last night we had almost…

A few days passed, and David was still acting the same way, pretending it had really been just a dream. And I decided to act the same way, as if it had been just a moment of weakness, that shouldn't even be talked about.

...

Some of my friends from Australia came to visit. I was very happy, I hadn't seen them for a while. A friend of mine was throwing a huge party and I decided to take them. By the time we arrived, Dave and Matt were already there (we had to go separated because there was too many people for just one car). We got some drinks and went dacing, and I noticed Claire couldn't take her eyes off David, who was standing some meters from us, talking to some friends. Of course she knew him, he was famous… and she asked me if I knew him too, I said I did… that we had always been friends. (Of course I wouldn't tell her I was in love with him….) So, she asked me exactly what I was afraid of: to "introduce them"…. I was so mad, I didn't want anybody close to David, specially a friend of mine. But I couldn't say no, after all, I couldn't explain… I had no choice.

I took her towards him, pushed him aside and introduced them, I said they could have a talk. I can't even describe the look on David's face. It was something between surprise and disappointment, but I pretended I hadn't seen it. I was good at that, too. I just couldn't relax and enjoy the party, my gaze kept drifting to the corner where they were talking. After a while, they left through the back door, to the yard. From that moment on I really couldn't enjoy anything anymore. I was wondering what could be happening, but I wouldn't go there…I didn't want to see it… All of the sudden, Dave came in again, alone, walking very fast. He didn't talk to anyone and just left. Claire also got in a few moments later, looking kind of scared. She came towards me and said "This friend of yours is crazy, right? Or is he gay?"

"But what happened, Claire?"

"It was so weird, Anne! We went to the backyard so we could be alone, we kept talking, and we ended up kissing. And then, all of the sudden, he stopped the kiss, it was like he was in shock! He gave me a scared look and said he couldn't do that, that it was wrong! And he ran away! I don't know, these famous guys are crazy... but I can't deny it, he is a very good kisser!"

After that, I was thoughtful... Why had he acted that way? Was it because of me? No, probably not… He probably just hadn't liked her at all….


	11. Oops

**Oops**

In the following week, I went out almost everyday and I hardly saw David, just when he was going in and I was getting out or vice versa. I didn't even have a chance to talk to him about what had (not) happened at the party.

I left the girls at the airport with Matt's car, since he was playing soccer with the boys... On the way back, I met David and him, sweating, with towels hanging on their shoulders, holding their cleats, walking up the street...

"What's up boys, wanna a ride?"

Matt wanted to kill me:

"With MY car? You are so daring."

David laughed:

"Come on, Matt! Leave my Sis alone!"

"So you're defending her now? Get in the car then, you loser!

They could really use a shower... Dave climbed into the passenger seat... Matt was talking loud and frenzy about the game, and I wasn't even listening, I was staring at David's legs when I realized he wasn't listening either, but looking at me...

I almost hit the car when I was parking, and had to listen to Matt's complaints from the garage up to the room. Then, I suggested them to go and take showers while I prepared something for us to eat…  
>Matt went the bathroom, and I went to the kitchen.<p>

The snacks were ready, and I went upstairs to ask what they wanted to drink… I didn't knock, Dave was taking off his shirt and wiping water out of his hair with the towel… He spotted me at the door, threw the towel on the bed and kept staring at me…

"Bro, you want juice or soda?"

"It has been a while since you called me that... actually, It has been a while since you treated me so well…"

I got confused. He was making fun of me, or making me feel guilty or whatever, but I decided to take it easy...

"Of course I do, I even made a snack for you!"

"A snack? Actually, a massage would be so much better...

"Massage? And what do I get in return?"

He took a deep breath, bit his lip and answered:

"Your choice..."

And when I was almost inviting him to my bedroom, he looked away, laughed and said:

"Hurry up, Sis, before I change my mind, I'm hungry…"

I really couldn't understand him, I couldn't tell when he was serious, but he lay on his stomach, I got an massage oil in my room, sat on his back… and asked:

"Hard or easy mode?"

He lifted his head a little and answered:

"I trust you!"

I drip the oil on his back, he got chills. I was slowly spreading the oil, his back were very pale, with some frackles, blond hair… I tried everything to hide the fact that I was getting hot…  
>I started on his shoulder, and down to the waist... I noticed his anxious fingers... I grabbed his arms, they were stronger than it seemed… My sweat was dripping, it was like the room was on fire...<p>

I softly ran my fingers through his hair, and pulled it gently.

He didn't say a word, I was trying to keep my breath easy... I slipped my hand through his body, he started to move, and it was like something was bothering him…

"Is everything okay, Bro?"

He leaned his hands on the matress, I thought we was gonna stand up, but he looked at me with a reddish face, and for the first time he was looking embarrassed.

"Yes... very much, actually..."

He noticed the sweating dripping down my neckline, he lay down again and Matt came out of the shower…

"What's going on, guys? Massage session in my room? I want that too!"

I jumped off Matt's back, the oil fell on the floor, and David didn't move... Matt pushed him:

"Get off my shirt, man!"

And Dave replied:

"I can't..."

Dying of embarrassement, I left the room to set the table for us...

I couldn't even look at David while we were eating… My face was probably very pink, just like his, and he kept staring at the plate. I noticed Matt looking at us in a strange way… suspicious, maybe… After David left, he asked me if I had any news to share… of course I denied, I'd NEVER tell him that!


	12. Boys

**Boys**

On the following days, there was a kind of awkwardness between Dave and me. That was already expected, after that scene... He was still coming home as usual, because of Matt, of course... But I couldn't help noticing that from my brother's room, he kept looking outside all the time, as if searching for someone…  
>Matt told me he asked David to go with him to this new night club in town on saturday, after all, they were both single and it had been a while since they last went out together. On Saturday night, Dave came home to meet Matt, and I opened the door wearing my pajamas, with wet hair and holding a hot chocolate. He looked at me in shock.<p>

"You are not ready?"

"Yes I am… ready to go watch a movie, it's about to start…"

"But... you mean that... you're not going?"

His pity face was almost too much for me to handle. The three of us always used to hang out together...

"No, Bro... I don't feel like going out today, and besides, I have to wake up early tomorrow, I have a shooting in the morning."

"Oh... but I was hoping that-"

In this very moment, Matt burst into the room and interrupted what he was saying...

"DAVE! It was about time, are you getting married or something? Come on, there'll be a lot of chicks for us, specially with you there!"

And he dragged David out.

The next day, Matt told me he was rigt. Half of the girls there were all over them. He said he had made out with four of them, but David rejected them all… "He is such a fag!"  
>I couldn't suppress a smile...<p>

They continued to go out almost 3 times a week, and they just didn't go out more because of David's busy schedule. He always asked me to go with them, but I always made up an excuse not to go. Actually, I didn't wanna see things that I knew would make me miserable. The hard part was to deal with Matt's hangover the next day, and sometimes David's too, since heslept over sometimes.

On a Saturday, I took advantage of the fact that they were going out and so were my parents, to invite some girlfriends over for a little reunion. It was very amusing, we talked and laughed a lot, and had a lot of drinks too, specially including vodka. But I didn't get totally drunk, just a little happier than usual...  
>When the girls left, it was almost dawn, and 5 minutes later Matt and Dave arrived. They were completely drunk. Matt could barely stand, I took him to his room and put him on his bed. Sometimes I don't know who's the older sibling...<p>

When I went back to the living room, Dave was sitting on the couch, staring at the TV, which was turned off. When he saw me, he started laughing stupidly at me. I took him to the bathroom so he could take a shower, to get a little better. I put him under the shower with his clothes on and everything, and I remained near him, I was afraid he was gonna drown… I got a little wet, after all, I was not the most sober person in the world too… He staggered on the wet floor, and fell towards me, I had to grab the shower box so I didn't fall. I got even wetter. We stared at each other for a moment, in that awkward situation, and then, he kissed me. I felt as if every part of my body was getting dry and wetter at the same time. He then interrupted the kiss, turned off the shower and said:

"Matt is not interrupting this time."

He pulled me by the arm, and we started walking through the house, leaving a trail of water behind us. We got into the garage, which was full of junk. The only light was the one coming through the window. I could only see David staring at me. I could see every drop of water and sweat that was rolling down his face...


	13. 2 Become 1

**2 B****ecome ****1**

"David...let's..."

"Shhh..."

His finger met my lips and he kept me from saying anything... the look in his eyes was scaring me, and at the same time, made me wanna fell him for real…  
>He kicked away some stuff on the floor, pushed me against the wall and pressed his body against mine…. The water on our bodies seemed to be evaporating, and he started kissing me on a different way, his eyes were opened, he was looking deeply into mine, and gently bit my lips, it was like he was teasing me...<br>He grabbed my hips with both hands, turned my back to him, pulled my hair and squeezed my breasts with the other hand, and with a husky voice that made my whole body tremble, he whispered:

"I'm going to make you forget about your first time…"

I lost my strenght, I could barely feel my legs, but I felt his wet hand moving down my abs… I looked down and I saw his fingers unbuttoning my jeans, his lips were still on my ear, he knew his breath unfocused me, I was about to turn around and kiss him when I felt his hot hand touching me…

"You like that?"

When I was about to answer, he picked me up, placed me on the hood of Matt's car and walked away... He got into the car, I looked back, he was turning on the radio, he looked at me through the windshield, and the song started playing…

/watch?v=oFzOMDKWh7A

He opened the window, got out, and in that darkness, he didn't seem worried about the noise, and at that point, neither did I…

I lost sight of him… and then I felt my shirt being torn open and his mouth touching my breast… I was holding his head, but he was out of control…

He took my pants off, opened my legs with those huge hands and bent down…

Nobody had ever touched me like that, I could barely recognize him, he knew how to drive a woman crazy, my heart was racing, he kissed my legs, gently bit my thigh, he pushed my panties aside, and rubbing his beard on my groin, his tongue made me see stars on the ceiling of the garage…

But when I tried to show my pleasure, he stopped it… He was teasing me, that's when I pushed aside any romantic thought I might be having… I pulled his hair, ripped off his shirt, got down from the hood and pushed him, took his pants off, he pulled me back, and only in his hot and wet brifs, he picked me up…

The song changed...

/watch?v=A80m50WNtHU

David leaned me against the wall close to the door, where the moonlight was coming in, he wasn't looking into my eyes anymore, but I could see his eyes running down my body, he bit my neck and asked:

"So Sis, you're gonna let me show you what's the real thing?"

"Are you challenging me?"

He pulled my hair and said:

"Answer me..."

Using my both hands, I took off his underwear at once…

"Do I have to?"

Without a word, he just lifted me again, we heard a noise...  
>He had stepped on my dad's toolbox... we lost balance and almost fell, the tools spread on the floor, we looked at each other and laughed…. I was almost laughing out loud when he put his hand on my mouth… he laid me down on the cold floor, that became hot in an instant, and with a strong movement, I finally felt him inside me...<p>

Supporting his body with is hands,, he started gently and began to increase the speed, I could barely stand it, I grabbed his arms, tried to kiss him, lost my breath and he didn't stop…  
>His sweat was dripping on me, I was shaking, he grabbed my wrists, placed his face close to mine, and slowly put his tongue inside my mouth and let me kiss him while he was in ecstasy...<br>When it was over, he lay down next to me, breathless, among all those tools. I was exhausted too, and he pulled me closer, kissed the top of my head and fell asleep almost right away. I was very sleepy as well, and before I fall asleep too, I heard the beggining of the song on the radio… /watch?v=HyjYB2vH_uo

* * *

><p><em>That's the first chapters with songs (the previous two songs <em>_had only the lyrics), and apparently I can't paste here the whole link from You Tube, so just copy the links here and put after the YT address... of course, the idea is to listen to the songs while reading the story... =D_


	14. Hangover

**Hangover**

I woke up kind of lost, my head was dizzy... I had that bitter taste I my mouth again… I opened my eyes, I saw I was in my room, but I had no idea how I ended up there… Flashes from the previous night started to rush back, car, tools, the moon… Was that a dream? It seemed so real... I got up, and I realized I was wearing just a big shirt... and it smelled like him… so it wasn't a dream! It really happened! My God, Dave and I... what did we do?

I took the shirt off, and put on a pajamas, in case I found Matt on the way, and went to the living room. Dave was sitting on the couch, having a Coke and apparently his hangover was 10 times worst than mine. We said an awkward "good morning" and I went to the kitchen to get something to eat, to get that taste off my mouth. On the way back, while I was eating a cold pizza, I was thinking about what to say to him, but I didn't even have to bother, because Matt was coming from his room at the same moment.

"My God, I feel like I was in a coma... sorry, I shouldn't have said that... but my head is so heavy, I don't even know how I got here yesterday…. Hey Dave, you stayed over? I didn't know it..."

At that moment, I pretended to be very interested on the show that was on TV.

"Yeah... I ended up sleeping in your couch..."

Matt left to get a glass of water, and then sat on the couch with us. I can't tell which one was looking worst. After a while, Matt asked "Anne, have you heard Dave's new cd, that it's in my car? We were listening to it on the way home yesterday…" David and I looked at each other for less than a second.

"No, I didn't... you show me later..."

After "breakfast", Dave went home, to take a shower and get some rest. I did the same, and after I got out of the shower, I spent all day long sleeping, after all, I hadn't slept at all last night… When I woke up, it was already dark, and I stayed on the bed thinking about everything that had happened in the garage… even though I was kinda drunk, I could remember every detail, his scent was all over me, even after I had taken a shower… Last night had been the craziest night of my life, and it would definitely be the most unforgettable...

I decided to go to the porch, I had to take some fresh air, it was a beautiful twilight… I got my guitar and sit there. When I was playing The Truth, David showed up and sit next to me, asked me if I was feeling better, I said so… He said he had slept too, and the hangover was gone... he asked if Matt was home, I said he was sleeping again… I decided I wouldn't pretended nothing had happened.

"Thanks for taking me to bed."

"You think I would leave you on that cold floor? When I woke up, you were so cold, and shaking... You could have been sick..."

"Bro... about what happened... I was out of my mind, and so were you... It was a drunk mistake, we shouldn't have done that, it was…"

But he silenced me with a kiss.

"Yeah, we were drunk... but I don't feel it was a mistake... If that's the case, I'm gonna get here drunk more often..."

I decided to get out of my head everything that was worrying me and I surrendered to that moment. I don't know for how long we were there, making out. And this time, we were both very aware of what we were doing...


	15. Trip

**15. Trip**

We decided to "let it happen". We remained friends as usual, and whenever we felt like it, we got together. No strings attached, we were like fooling around. We decided nobody would know, after all, he was a famous artist, the repercussions could be huge and we didn't know how that would end. David was very focused on his carrer, the main reason why he didn't want to take what was happening between us very seriously.

He seemed to be really excited about his carrer, and the way this were working out for him… and I loved being part of his life, he was always asking opinions about songs, Matt and I always followed him on photo shoots, and a lot of times on halls, on the corner of the studios, and in last case in the bathrooms, we would make out…

I was very happy when he slept over, so many times I woke up in the middle of the night with him getting under the blanket…. But what kept bothering me was the feeling of not having him around when I woke up…

Sometimes I felt like talking to him about our "relationship", I wanted to understand what we really had, but there was never time for that, and I must confess, I didn't have enough guts...

Matt started making me some weird questions, he wanted to know why I didn't have a boyfriend, if I had a crush on somebody, and he was always competing for David's attention with me...

After spending a long night thinking about him, I woke up decided to talk to him… My mom got into my room…

"Baby, you're the only one who didn't pack yet"

I jumped out of bed, I couldn't believe it, time went by so fast, I looked at the calendar... It was already august, time for our annual trip...

The famous nights playing cards, eating pizzas, making bonfires at the beach... the pictures on my wall reminded me of how much fun David, Matt and I used to have during these trips….  
>While packing, I realized that would be a good place for me to talk to David, far from everything, on a nice place... Everything was conspiring in our favour...<br>I went downstairs, put my luggage in the trunk, had breaksfast… and I remembered to get the video game in Matt's room.

"Matt, where's the video game?" I shouted while I entered the room.

He made a signal indicating that I shut up, he was talking on the cell with somebody.

"Alright man, but we're gonna miss you there..."

My heart was racing, I felt like crying, David wasn't going with us... for the first time... and exactly when I wanted him there the most...

In the car, his damn CD was playing, and Matt was bugging me.

"Why are you so quiet? Thinking about somebody?

...

The first day was very boring, everyone was having fun, and I was hardly listening to what people were saying, at the same realizing that I really missed David annoyed me, I didn't think it would be that hard...  
>On the third day, my parents decided to have a barbecue, and invited almost all the neighbours over.<br>I woke up with a very loud music, the smell of smoke and Matt jumping on my bed:

"Let's go downstairs, there's a few people here already, put your bikini on and let's go to the pool, I'll make you a drink."

The pool was full of people, I didn't even know most of them, others, I hadn't seen for a while… I was sitting by the pool, having a drink when Kyle sat next to me. I hadn't seen him for like 3 years, and he was... grown up. We started talking and I noticed he might be interested in me. And then, he asked me if I didn't want to go to another place, so we could talk more quietly. I said no, I told him I already had someone. Even though what David and I had was not serious, I couldn't be with someone else…

I excused myself, got something to eat and went for a walk. I found Matt sitting with some girls and joined them. I heard matt saying:

"...we grew up together, I'm his best friend... if you want an autograph, I can get it for you…"

And then, one of the girls asked:

"I saw on TV he's back together with that Kim girl, is that true? "

* * *

><p><em>I'm sorry for not posting, I got a little lazy... shame on me. Anyway, I'm going to London on Tuesday for a week (YAY) but when I come back, I'll post more. Oh, and I'll start the David's fic, which is his version of the story. If you enjoy the fic, review it, so I won't be lazy anymore! =D<em>

_(but before I go, I'll post one more chapter)  
><em>


	16. This Kyle

**This Kyle**

I felt my stomach drop. I heard Matt saying he didn't know if it was true or not, but I just couldn't listen anymore. I excused myself again and got into the house, turned the TV on but there was nothing about that. I couldn't have fun anymore, I stayed by myself until everybody had left. I took a shower and went to bed. I turned the tv on again on E!, to see if I found something. And there it was. They were saying that David and Kim may had got together again, they had been seen together…. That was the end of the trip for me... ok, we had nothing serious, but I couldn't even imagine he would do something like that… He waited until I was out of town to go back to her? That's why he didn't come with us?

I decided not to stay moaning in bed. I got up, changed clothes and went to Kyle's. I invited him for a walk. We sat on a bench by the beach and started talking. All of the sudden, without thinking, I pulled him by his shirt and kissed him.

For a moment, I regretted, I was hoping to feel David, his arms, his beard... but Kyle was different…. in a charming way… he was tender, took the hair off my face, made me calm down…. He kissed slowly, hugged me, he had a nice smell, and after the kiss, he looked into my eyes...

"Why are you so tense?"

I laughed at myself... maybe, in a desperate act, I found someone sensible and a very good kisser... He pulled me by the hand, and told me he wanted to show me a place, we walked on the beach until the rocks, and we sat down...

"Do you see that lighthouse? Everytime I feel this way, like you are now, I come sit here to observe it... it gives me peace of mind..."

I was hardly listening, I just watched him talking, quiet, peaceful... It was a hot night, I felt like lying down with him there, under the stars, I must confess, I was curious about how it was to be with somebody else… I lay my head on his shoulder, and started kissing his neck…

He looked at me and got up…

"Hey darling, it's late, shall we get going?"

I was confused, but I got up anyway... what happened, had I done something wrong? I was used to an insatiable, passionate David, who took risks...

He offered me his hand, we walked on the beach, talked about everything, and that peace made me feel safe… but I was still worried about the reason why he didn't want me the same way….

Kyle dropped me off at my house, kissed me on the forehead and said:

"You seem confused, you need to do something about this love issues… dream about me."

I hadn't said anything to him about my feelings, but apparently he was able to read all of them..

I went to bed thinking about him, but dreamed about David… I woke up scared, sad, I called him…

He didn't answer... he was probably with his girlfriend, the simple thought of her being close to him, made me angry… yes, I was very jealous.

Days went by and Kyle's mysterious way of being was still intriguing, but he always surprised me with very lovely attitudes…

On the last night of the trip, we went back to the rocks.. he asked me if I had calmed down my heart... I said:

"Kyle, I have no idea how you know that I have been thoughtful these days, but I'm sure I want to be with you tonight…"

He finally surrendered, he took off his white shirt, put it on the rocks and laid me down, he kissed my whole body….

He untied my bikini top, asked me to hear the sound of the ocean, while he gently ran his fingers through my body….

I felt the breeze warming up our bodies, and when started to drizzle, Kyle finally lay down on top of me, to protect me and to drive me crazy as well….  
>He was looking right into my eyes, and slowly we became one...<p>

The drizzle falling, the waves crashing on the rocks, the moonlight reflected on the sea... and we were fulfilling the desire that had been inside us all those days...

* * *

><p><em>ok, this is the last chapter I'm gonna post by now, as I said, I'm going to London tomorrow and I'll be back next Monday, I promise I'll post more, ok?<em>


	17. Best Player

**17. Best player**

We left the next morning. We all went together to Tulsa, but Kyle and his family kept going, because they live in Colorado. We kissed good-bye, and he took off his neck chain and put in on me.

It wouldn't be easy to be in a long-distance relationship, but I was willing to give it a try. I was very sad when he left, but I didn't have much time to mourn. Distance was not the only thing I had to worry about. I heard the doorbell, when I opened it, I found David standing on the doorway.

"You're here at last, I missed you so much!"

That face brought me the feeling of being back home, in a safe place... but at that moment, I looked at David and I felt everything at the same time... my heart was racing, and I remembered the story about Kim on TV, and Kyle's face... and I realized I had enough reasons not to let his presence have any effect on me.

"What's up, Bro! Long time no see!"

I gave him a quick hug and left to call Matt.

I didn't look back to see his reaction, I felt he was coming after me, I got into my room and closed the door. I heard him talking to Matt, asking how the trip had been, and when they were gonna play some soccer again...

"There's a new guy for our team, he lives far away but he's a good player..." he replied.

"Who's the guy?"David asked.

"His name is Kyle..." Matt answered.

The phone rang... It was Kyle calling, to tell me he had got home. While I was talking to him, I was transferring the photos and videos of the trip from the camera to my laptop. David knocked on the door, got into the room and I automatically minimized the window….

For some reason, I didn't want him to see the pictures, I didn't want him to know about me and Kyle…

Kyle asked me who I was talking to, and I said it was just a friend of my brother... he kept sitting on the bed, waiting for me to hang up... He wanted to go out that night, but I said I had to meet some friends and I couldn't go... I went to take a shower and he stayed there, his gaze had dropped to the floor...

When I got out of the bathroom, he was no longer there, but there was a guitar pick on the bed, when I picked it, I couldn't believe, It was signed by Chris Daughtry, David knew I was a fan of him…  
>I couldn't believe he had thought about me, even though he was going out with that bitch again... I called to thank him, actually I wanted to ask him to come back, so I could jump on him like I always did and scream... he didn't answer it.<p>

...

Some time had passed, and I was always making excuses to avoid David. As much as I wanted to run into his arms, I did like Kyle, and had no intention of cheating on him….

One day, I was going downstairs and I heard Matt and David talking.

"Another player has arrived! This one came from far away!"

"Why is he holding a flower? Is he gay?"

I looked through the window and saw Kyle standing outside holding a football in one hand and a rose in the other. My heart was heavy...

I turned my attention back the conversation, and I heard Matt saying...

"Of course not, dumbass! This is Kyle, Anne's boyfriend from Colorado... they've been together since the beach trip!"


	18. Unfair Game

** Unfair Game**

I took a deep breath and went downstairs. Matt was already talking...

"Have you seen who is here, Anne? Your new love…"

"Yeah... I saw it..."

I answered Matt but I couldn't keep my eyes off Dave... I can't define the look on his face... surprise... anger... dissapointment...

We got out to meet Kyle, but then Matt remembered they had forgotten theirs cleats at the bedroom and asked David to go there and get it. Kyle hold me, and gave me a kiss and the rose. How did he know I love red roses? He said he had missed me...

When Dave came back, we were already getting in the car. I was in the back seat with Kyle. He was getting closer to me, kissing me, putting his arm on my shoulders… and I kept staring at the rear-view mirror… and I could see there those green eyes, staring back at me...

We got to the field, I went to sit on the bleachers to watch the game. Dave and Kyle were on opposite teams. The game was kind of violent, David was closing down Kyle all the time, and he didn't do anything about it.

And then Kyle slide-tackled David, that knocked him down. When he got up, he was seeing red. Even limping, he tried to attack Kyle, but Matt restrained him. I got paralysed with shock.

I could only hear them yelling, but it was impossible to hear what they were saying… But I could clearly see that David was dying to punch Kyle in the face…

When calm was restored, Kyle got away from him, I went to the field, put David's arm around my shoulders and took him to the changing room, because he was hurt, and sat him on a bench.

"I'm gonna get the first aid kit to take care of this injury."

"You didn't have to bother... in fact, I don't even know what you're doing here… weren't you supposed to be out there? After all, that's where your boyfriend are… by the way, what a lovely guy!"

I was petrified again.

"Why are you doing this to me, David?"

"ME? You are the one who comes back with a boyfriend, don't tell me anything about it, ignores me completely and I am the one who's doing something? You're hilarious..."

"Who are you to judge me David? The minute I left, you ran back to that shitty Kim again! Who are you to demand anything from me?

His face went from anger to surprise.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"What? When I was on the beach I saw on TV that you were back together! Nobody told you?"

He lowered his head and hid his face in his hands

"That's what it is? Why didn't you ask me if that was true or not? But no, you choose to believe in E! instead of checking! That was a lie, those were old photos, I haven't seen Kim in months! I was only with you, I like YOU, damn it!

I sat next to him. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, let alone what I had done… He grabbed my arm and asked:

"What about you? You're telling me you really fancy this guy? Or are you doing this just to get back at me?"


	19. Comparision

**Comparision**

I pulled my arm away from him and got up from the bench. I was looking angrily at him. I would not let him get away with it.

"And why do you care so much, David? As far as I remember, what we had was "not a big deal"! You were the one who decided that, that no one would know about this, so YOUR career wouldn't be in jeopardy, DAVID COOK! So, you have no rights to demand anything from me! I felt I wasn't that important to you, and I found someone who makes me feel essential! I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna break up with Kyle, even though I know now that the Kim thing was a lie… Because he does give me everything I ever expected from someone and never had!"

He had no reaction. He seemed speechless.

And I finished:

"I expected more from you…"

I turned my back at him and left the changing room. I found Kyle on the doorway.

"Is everything okay here?" He was looking at both of us.

"Yes, it is. I'm leaving. Are you coming?"

"Sure."

On the way back, Kyle was telling he found odd the way David kept looking at him, it seemed he was angry at him... and I didn't say anything, how could he know that I couldn't explain the reason for that attitude, I asked him to let it go, I wanted to enjoy the little time we had, He was leaving that night…

The house was empty when we got there, I invited Kyle to take off his uniform and take a shower with me… we closed the door, and when I was almost taking his shirt off, he reminded me he liked doing things calmly…. He turned me around and started kissing my back while he took my shirt off, then ran his hands through my legs...

I couldn't take it, I pulled him to the bathroom, took his clothes off and put him under the shower, and he joked:

"You are so wild today! Where did you learn this?"

I thought about David... If he were there, he would be laying on the wall holding me against his chest, with water rolling down his face, frowning, staring at me, bitting, teasing me...

But Kyle just smiled, pulled me to a long kiss and we enjoyed our time there…. When we left the shower, I left the room wearing a towel, to get us something to drink…  
>I went downstairs, and Matt was in the living room playing video game... with David, and my towel almost fell on the floor with just a look on his face...<p>

When I got back to the room, Kyle was already getting his things to leave…  
>He held me and said he had enjoyed our day together very much, and would do everything to make things work between us…<p>

When we were leaving the room, he stopped and stared at the pictures on the wall…

"Maybe now I get why you friend was looking at me that way..."

I was already on the bed, trying to sleep, but the music coming from Matt's room was very loud, I got into his room ready to jump on him if he didn't lowered the volume, and David was lying on the mattress…

"Are you staying over again, David?"

Matt gave me a frightened look...

"Is there a problem about that?" David answered.

I lowered the volume and left the room angrily, I went to bed thinking about everything that had happened that day... the more I tried to keep away from David, the less I could... determined to take the relationship with Kyle seriously, and make this work as he had said, I fell asleep...

In the middle of the night, I felt a cold breeze... I thought the blanket had fallen, but my body was so soft I didn't move... next, I felt warm again, it was the blanket and David, lying down next to me... when I considered trying to push him away and tell him to go, I felt his arms around me…. I rested my head on his chest, and fell asleep again...

* * *

><p><em>as I said, I started to post the other fanfic, the same as this one but with David's point of view. Some things are quite the same, but there's a lot of new information and some stuff that will only be there, so in order to understand everything, you have to read both. The name is "It's up to me to forget", and this is the link: .nets/7733962 (just put the "fanfiction" before it)  
><em>

_I hope you enjoy it!_


	20. Gift

**Gift**

When I woke up, I was sure David would be in the living room with Matt...

I got dressed and went downstairs... they weren't home. I got a text:

"Check your second drawer..."

2 tickets to a musical I had been dying to watch... David really listened to me, and he was finally learning how to show it...

There was a note:

"Meet me at 9 pm in front of the theater, Matt can't see us alone..."

6:45...I didn't have the guts to cross the street, from there I could see David anxious, looking everywhere….

I turned around, towards my house, I didn't want to go, I didn't know what to say to him, I didn't know if I could resist…

He texted me again:

"Are you coming? It's cold out here…."

I was paralyzed, looking at the screen, I didn't know what to do. I looked at him again, he was anxious... apparently he was wondering if he should call me or not…

I couldn't resist that look on his face, I decided to go meet him

"I was wondering if you'd leave me here to freeze..."

"Oh come on Bro, it's not even that cold.."

"Yeah, you're right, It feels warmer now..."

We got into the theater, the musical was awesome. But David was always trying to put his arm around me, and I tried to get away. He tried to kiss me twice, but I pretended to be very interested in the musical, and he gave up. We ended the night as friends.

...

I didn't see David the following week, he was out of town, busy with career things. One day, I was coming home exhausted, after spending the whole day in a shooting, and I just wanted to take a shower and go to bed. But when I got into the room, the bed was occupied with something else… I could believe my eyes. On my bed was something I had always dreamed of having: a Fender Stratocaster. My dream guitar, a lifetime wish... brand new... had my parents gone mad? I got itpicked it up, shaking... I was about to go to the living room to ask what the hell was that, but when I looked at the bed, there was a piece of paper:

"Hope you like it, Sis..."

I couldn't believe what I was reading. Even though I had dumped David, he gave me a Fender, he always knew it was my dream… I got the guitar and the note and went to his place. When he opened the door, I was already asking

"David, what the hell is this?"

"Ahn... a guitar?"

"This is not "a guitar", David, this is a FENDER STRATOCASTER."

"I know that as well, I happen to be familiar with guitar brands myself..."

"Don't joke, I want to know why did you give me one of those?"

"I thought this was your dream... How many times I spotted you when we were passing by the music store, looking at the display window…. Now that I have some money, I could buy this for you…"

"Dave, you know I can't take this... we're not together anymore, Kyle..."

"Anne! Have you forgotten that we're friends, above all? You know I want you again, but if I can't have you, take this as a friend gift! If you don't, I'll feel offended…."

"Okay... I'll take it… I couldn't refuse having a Fender anyway…"

"I'm sure about this."

And he held me.

I just couldn't be away from my new guitar. I felt like a child after Christmas. Dave was very pleased to see my joy... I decided not to tell Kyle about the gift, he was already suspecting there was something else between me and David… if he saw the guitar someday, I'd just say that I had it for a while and had forgotten to show him…

I thought things were settling down, but all of the sudden, David was acting weird again… kind of moody… I didn't ask anything, probably it was just an impression. Matt told me Dave had had a serious talk with the producers, but he didn't tell me what had happened there.


	21. Now or Never

**Now or Never**

Out of nowhere, David asked me out for dinner. I thought about say no, but after that gift, I couldn't…. He took me to Outback, he knew it was my favorite place…. We ate a lot, shared a dessert (they're so huge) and we were talking for a while after eating. Then, he became serious...

"Anne, I brought you here because I want to have a serious talk with you.

I was a little scared... When Dave got that serious, I shouldn't expect anything good.

"I need to know something…. I need to know if you want to be with me."

I was paralyzed. I did not see that coming.

"Why are you telling me this now, David?"

"I need to know, Anne. I like you, you know that. I regret the way I treated you, and I just can't stand seeing you with somebody else, I want you! I need you to tell me now if you're willing to be with me."

"Why this now, Dave?"

"Just answer me…"

I didn't know what to say, he caught me off guard... I decided not to listen my heart... I needed to be reasonable...

"No, David. I choose to be with Kyle, and I'm gonna stay with him… We had our chance. We are back to being just friends... that's what we are now."

"Are you sure?"

It took me a while to answer. We were starting at each other….

"Yes, I am."

Before we leave, and I went to the bathroom on the way out. We hardly speak to each other on the way back. When we got home, he gave me a long kiss on the cheek, and didn't say anything.

When I got into my room, I opened my bag to get my cell, and something fell from it, and it said "Outback". I got it, it was a coaster... weird. I turned it around, there was something written on it...

"Sis, never forget how much I like you."

Impossible to forget... David surprised me everyday, but I was not sure yet if he had really changed, or if was just desperate attitudes of regret… I'm not sure why, but I couldn't be sure about his feelings towards me, often I had a feeling that he, as me, could be mixing love between friends with that crazy passion….  
>But I confess, those little treats made me feel good, and although I had decided not to be with him, everyday I was waiting for a new treat...<p>

Oddly, for the following 3 weeks David didn't even called...

Even my mom was missing him, and asked me where he had been… I said he was probably busy with the CD, and she agreed…

"It must be it then, last time he was here he got a phone call from his agent, and he had to hurry."

And she went on:

"I was thinking about making dinner tomorrow, inviting him and Andrew…. I miss those boys..."

I wasn't sure we would come, but still I was wearing my best perfume and a nice dress… we all sat at the table, Kyle, my mom, my dad, Matt and me, I was checking the clock all the time... finally the door bell...  
>Andrew came in with the usual playful look on his face, said hello to my parents and seemed surprised to see Kyle, htey hadn't been introduced... my mom asked the question:<p>

"Where is your brother?"

"He's just locking the car..." he said.

I looked at the driveway, David was coming, and holding hands with her….  
>My stomach hurt, there was a lump in my throat, it wasn't jealousy (ok, maybe it was), I was outraged, after everything he said and done, how could he be back with her, David really surprised me, and the surprise of the day was:<p>

He was in a serious relationship with her.

* * *

><p><em>Guys, I didn't post for the last days becuase I'm working more on the other fic (David's version), because doth of them should be around the same level (I don't know if this is the right word to use, but whatever), so I'm gonna update the other one more often for now. The link is .nets/7733962/_

_and, I'm gonna be away for the weekend, so I'll only post on Monday, okay?_


	22. Request

**Request**

The atmosphere was tense, but probably just for me... Matt and Andrew were joking, hitting each other, drinking beers… Kyle seemed relieved to see David with a girl, and was doing everything to please me…

My parentes had no idea of the meaning of "torture", they started telling childhood stories, I almost chocked when my mom said:

"David, remember when you and Anne pretended to get married in our backyard?"

David laughed out loud, took a sip of wine and replied:

"How could I forget? We swore eternal love…. And Matt punched me in the face right after that..."

Kim seemed dislocated, she wanted to join the conversation but there was nothing to say, so she took every opportunity to say how happy she was in her relationship with David, and his success…

From across the table, I could see that David was looking at me, and we kept teasing each other during the whole dinner... if I kissed Kyle, he kissed Kim, if I whispered something in his ear, he held her hand….

Finally dessert, the end of the torture, I couldn't take that anymore, all I wanted was to go to my room and be alone with my boyfriend…  
>Before I go, Kim hugged me and whispered in my ear:<p>

"Stay away from him."

I was so mad, did she know anything? How dare she talk to me like that? But I decided not to bother, I had better things to do...

Our relationship was growing, I decided to dedicate myself, and pay back all the love he gave me, I learned a lot from him, we were getting closer and closer…

The problem was the distance, he had a job and went to college, we could only see each other on weekends…  
>He showed up in my house on a Saturday, he was kind of anxious, weird….<p>

"Anne, I need to talk to you today, I can't hold it anymore…"

We went to my bedroom, and as I didn't know he was coming, the guitar was plugged into the amp, and on my bed... I didn't even have to explain, he knew it was a gift from David, and for the first time, he lost control...

I don't know what happens between you and this guy, but I don't want you near him anymore... he is trying to buy you with presents? Tell me the truth Anne, how do you feel about him? And how do you feel about me?"

I stared at the guitar… and my answer was no more than a whisper…

"I love you…"

He hold me, he said it was everything he needed to hear, he got a Box from his pocket and opened, the ring was shining…

"Will you marry me?"

I thought about Kyle, and everything that was going on, and David... David... but the Kim was there too, that relationship, everything always went wrong between us... and I answered:

"Yes."

* * *

><p><em>I'm sorry I haven't been uptating this fic much, but as I said, I want both of them to be at the same level, so I have been posting more chapters of the other one for now... here's the link: .nets/7733962/_


	23. One Reason

**One reason**

He put the ring on my finger and kissed me. Ele colocou o anel no meu dedo e me deu um beijo.

"I'm the happiest person in the world!"

"Yeah, me too..."

We went downstairs to tell the news to my parents and Matt, who were surprised. But my parents loved the news, they really liked Kyle. While they were talking, Matt pulled me aside...

"What the hell is this Anne, isn't it too soon to get married?"

"I don't think so..."

"Are you sure about this? 100%? Do you really like Kyle?"

"Why are you asking a bunch of questions, Matt?"

"Because I always imagined that when a person makes this kind of decision, they should be a little happier, at least…"

Matt really knows me... I do like Kyle, he's the kind of guy every girl dreams about… of course I was happy, I was engaged… but there was something missing… I'm not sure what it was... actually I am, I missed someone to get under my blanket, to kiss me wildly under the shower, to tear up my clothes, to lift me and press me against the wall… but this "someone" had someone else, and seemed to be very happy too…

I was going to try very hard to make this work... some people say love comes with time...

I travelled with Kyle to Colorado, to tell his family the big news. It was a very fun trip, I was very welcome there, they were also very happy about the news. I came back 2 days later. Matt told me David had asked him about me, and he said to him I had a big surprise. Oops.

Next day, David came, I was alone.

"Matt told me you have a surprise."

I didn't know what to say. He wasn't supposed to find out about this so soon…

"Yeah... I learned how to play Paradise City…"

But he was looking down, frowning. He grabbed my hand.

"What's this ring?"

I was petrified.

"It's just a ring..."

"This is an engagement ring... what is this, Anne? Are you engaged?

You know what? Screw this.

"Yes, I am. He proposed and I said yes. We are getting married!

"But... like that... so fast... you are not together for that long... are you sure?"

His eyes were pleading... but I kept strong…

"Yes. He loves me, he does everything for me and I like him a lot. There's no reason to wait. Don't worry, you'll be invited."

"Don't kid me Anne. You know what I'm talking about. What about us?"

"There is no US, David. You made sure of this when you didn't care about us. And now, you're with her. We go separate ways from now on. We are only friends, as we always were.

"Is that what you really want?"

I really wanted to run into his arms.

"Yes, it is."

"Ok, then. I hope he can make you happy. I really do."

He turned around, and when he was about to open the door…

"David?"

He stopped and faced me.

"Can you give me one reason not to marry Kyle?"

He stared at me while he was thinking. For a moment, I thought he was gonna come towards me, but he stopped.

"I can' t. I'm sorry."

He left, closing the door behind him.

I was paralyzed. I looked at the ring, I couldn't hold my tears. I really had a little hope he would not let me go on with this wedding. A part of the song I had written came to my mind:

_"The only one who's got enough for me to break my heart…"_

I had to forget about him. Now, more than ever, I had to go on with the wedding plans.

* * *

><p><em>Don't forget to read the other fic too! .nets/7733962_


	24. The Truth

**The Truth**

I was in a rush, Kyle and I decided to choose everything together and throw a big party, since our parents offered to pay...  
>Guest list, food, flowers, church... I was kinda enjoying that routine, maybe not enough to be sure, but between so many things to choose, I didn't have enough time to "choose" what to feel...<br>Sometimes when I was looking at some magazines, there were pictures of Kim and David smiling, really convincing me that he made his choice and was very happy with it…

I woke up excited, I was gonna to try my dress, it was beautiful, and when I dressed it, I looked myself in the mirror... it was the perfect dress... but that person wasn't me... I had changed so much, grown up so much, but sometimes I wannted to go back to my old adventures... too late, maybe.

When I got home, there were 2 surprises…

On the table: the wedding invitations. On the couch: David's back pack.

I went upstairs with the invitations to check the list, I heard David's voice on Matt's room, I wouldn't have the guts to give his invitation in person... I went downstairs again and decided to leave it inside his backpack.  
>I opened it, put it in there... but I couldn't resist a sneak peak... Specially when I saw a piece of picture there, a picture of me... on the bottom, an envelope, some folded, signed, confidential papers...<p>

As I was reading, my hands were shaking...I couldn't believe that... that changed everything in our lives...

I went upstairs crying, closed the door, I felt like ripping the invitations, cancel the whole thing, I couldn't believe that… I never imagined David would be so weak, I tried to find a good reason for him to accept that...

But I just couldn't demand anything from him, I also had been weak to accept being in a US$ 3.000,00 weeding dress just to get away from my reality….

Those words were still in my head... clauses in his contract stated that he should have a stable relationship with Kimberly.

Why? I couldn't understand why it had to be her! What advantages could she bring to his career?

Someone had to answer these questions... I knocked on Matt's door, I called David and asked him to meet me that evening, on the bar he once worked as a bartender... 

The bar was full, after David became famous some girls begun to show up there to see if they were lucky enough to find him there, there was a local band playing…  
>I turned off my phone and got in there, David was at the counter, with a drink...<p>

"So, what did you call me here for? To give me a map to the church? I saw the invitation, thanks..."

"David, I need to talk to you, I need you to tell me the truth about you and Kim…"

He took another sip...

"The truth? Well, I haven't put a ring on her finger and she didn't choose the most expensive wedding dress in town yet, but we're fine…"

I wasn't giving up, he would tell me the truth…

"Look David, I'm serious... You just have to answer a question... how far would you go for your career?

David put the glass on the counter, and didn't look into my eyes... his voice was a little more than a whisper...

"What are you talking about?"

"You know pretty well, David, your contract... Kim... why are you subjecting yourself to this? I trust your talent, give me just one reason so I can understand why you agreed to that?"

"Anne..."

He seemed desperate, too weak to speak…

"Everything happened at the same time, I'd say no, but seeing you with Kyle was hard for me, just to think about him touching you, I didn't know what to do...

"So you just accepted a fake relationship?"

"I tried a real one, when I asked you if you were willing to be with me..."

In a second I remembered that day when I said no to him... I felt so confused, I wanted him, but I couldn't accept his attitudes until I found myself fragile, realizing all of that was a reflection of my own attitudes...  
>I took the glass from his hands…<p>

"Look at me... that why when I asked you for a reason to give up on the wedding, you said you couldn't give me one?

"Yes..."

When I lowered my head, I couldn't hold the tears, I was feeling guilty... I felt David's hand on my neck, his beard on my face, and he whispered in my ear:

"Would it be too late if I showed you now that actually I can give you a reason?"


	25. Remember

**Remember**

He pulled me by the hand among all the people, at the bathroom door he looked at me and I grinned... as usual, we were about to do something wild...  
>We got in and closed the door... but we could still hear that the band was no longer playing... and a song started on the radio... <span>.comwatch?v=XBF6IV8W-80&ob=av2n

I asked, as though I didn't know the answer, what was the reason...  
>He touched my face with his nose, held my neck with one hand, and with the other he held my waist tight, took a deep breath and kissed me…<br>I grabbed his arms, I wanted to resist, I tried to push him away... I thought about Kyle, and I forgot about him in two seconds, when I felt his hands ignoring my attempts to keep him away, and getting under my shirt…  
>He was hot as usual, and I just couldn't believe I was at the bar's bathroom, with people knocking, loud music out there...<br>But that was David, and he knew exactly what to do to make me surrender to his crazy ideas…

"You must be going crazy, Bro…"

"Don't call me Bro, not now... and you are the one who drives me crazy..."

He took his own shirt off and unbottoned his pants, I was attracted by the smell of his neck and chest, while he lifted my shirt… He was even more anxious than the first time, he had the situation under control, but he was hurry to have me… I was hurry to kill the longing of that body pressed against mine…  
>He was kissing me when I felt him inside me... due to the intensity and the time we spent apart, in a few minutes we were sweating and ready to leave…<p>

When I opened the door, he hugged me from behind and whispered in my ear...

"I missed your scent..."

We went back to the counter without really looking at each other, it was like we were feeling ashamed about what had just happened. But I felt... happy. I asked myself how could I be without this for so long? I really liked Kyle, but I had just realized that I needed David's scent, his skin... I stared at him, he was staring back and smiling... was he thinking the same thing?  
>We had some drinks, talked about random things, and I said I had to leave, it was getting late.<p>

I kissed him on the cheek, and when I got up he grabbed my arm and said:

"I like YOU. Only you..."

I smiled openly, pulled him and kissed him, to compensate how much I had missed him.

I went home feeling so happy, but at the same time, full of doubts about what I had to do…

When I woke up the next morning, I knew exactly what to do. I loved David, I couldn't marry Kyle, the three of us would be unhappy. It wasn't fair, I liked Kyle but ot enough. I had to do something about it, and quicky.  
>I borrowed Matt's car and drove to Colorado to talk to Kyle. We was happy to see me there without notice.<p>

I told him we needed to talk, he was worried…

"Kyle... you're great, you gave me everything I needed, you like me so much… but..."

"But what, Anne? I know this... you don't want to marry me anymore, is that it? "

"Kyle, I'm not ready for this... It's such a huge step... I don't want to do something that I can regret later, I want to be sure… I like you a lot, but… "

"But you don't love me."

I lowered my head.

"I already imagined that… that's ok… You know I love you… But I'm not forcing you to be with me, I don't want you to be unhappy… I appreciate your honesty and saved us both from suffering… "

I went back home with the feeling that I had lost a boyfriend, but had won a friend.

I got to Tulsa and went straight to Dave's, but he was not there. I had to wait until almost the following evening, because he was out all day long as well

He came over, and when I opened the door, I didn't even noticed his the awful look on his face, I was already telling him…

"Dave! I broke up with Kyle! Now we can be together and... "

But he interrupted me. He seemed devastated.

"No, Anne, forget it. We cannot be together."


	26. Attitude

**Attitude**

It felt like someone had thrown cold water all over me. What was that all about?

"What are you talking about, David? What do you mean, we can't be together, what happened?"

He was almost crying.

"What I was afraid of the most… Someone took a picture of us together at the bar, when we were kissing good bye… there was a producer following me, the guys from the recording label are threatening me, more than ever… they threatened to break the contract, but I convinced them… but I can't be with you Anne, otherwise I'm gonna lose everything…

I didn't know what to think…. I knew how much his career meant to him, it meant a lot to me too, I always followed his struggle… but I was frustrated, I broke up with Kyle for him and know he tells me it's not gonna happen?

"I cannot believe aht I'm hearing... Once more, you put your career before us, I thought I was a little more important to you! COWARD, that's what you are, you have no guts to face things, you accept everything! That's absurd, they threatening you like this, it makes absolutely no sense, and still, you don't do anything about it!

He kept his head low…

"Again David, I expected more from you."

I opened the door and waited.

"Get out David, leave, please. I can't even look at you right know..."

He was staring at me…

"GET OUT OF HERE, DAVID!"

He got up and left. When he passed by me, he kept his head low again… I closed the door and went to the living room, crying a lot… I couldn't believe that... It couldn't be true, why everything always went wrong?

Then I heard the door opening again, and when I turned around, David was standing only 5 centimeters from me, and his eyes were red.

"This isn't right! They can't stop me from being with the woman I love!

I was petrified with what I heard.

"What did you just say?"

"What you heard. I love you! It has always been you Anne, since forever, I was na idiot for not realizing that before… I love you, I NEED you, I'm sorry for being such a coward, for…

But I didn't let him finish it. With tears in my eyes, I grabbed his neck chain and pulled him towards me. I kissed him with a desire bigger than everything I had ever felt…

While we were kissing, his word were echoing in my head... he finally had shared his feelings, and it was more than I could have imagined… Maybe I wasn't even ready to hear that, let alone telling him I loved him back...

There was truth in his words, but I didn't feel safe, I didn't know how the next day would be, but I decided to worry about the moment, I whispered to him to go with me to my room…  
>He said yes, lifted me and we were kissing all the way upstairs... he asked me if we were alone, I told him we were…<p>

"HEY! That's Matt's room!"

"I know that, You'd never have 5 pairs of shoes by the door..."

He kicked everything out of the way, and got in... I locked the door, he tried to dry my tears with his hands...  
>He was kind of expecting me to say something, but I took his shirt off and mine too, since he was a little more "relaxed" than usual…<p>

I had never seen David so filled with emotions like that, I held him, made him run his han down my body... it was enough for him to come back to normal, the David I knew in bed...

We were on Matt's bed, that was odd but Nice, it was always good to be in his arms, even with the emotional instability…  
>Yes, my head was in a rush, even when I could feel David's body on top of me, I couldn't stop thinking, because that time, apparently, we were complete: body and soul.<p>

I wondered if those "simple" words changed everything. Even with his wrong choice, that sincere act made me see him in a different way…  
>My thoughts were interrupted when I looked closely at David's eyes staring back at me, his strong arms holding me tight, and his lips kissing my whole body...<br>He touched me as though it was the first time, or judging by the intensity, it was maybe the last…

He pulled me hard, and kissed me gently... and when I started to wander again, he unfocused me with his sighs of pleasure….

The rhythm increased, as well as the rush of thoughts... that's what I wanted for me, it was HIM, forever, I'd wait as long as it takes… David took a deep sigh, and he could not hold it anymore... and neither could I:

"I love you too, Dave."


	27. Party

**Party**

We lay down next to each other, and I asked him:

"Do you think it's worth for me to go through all of this to be with you? If you say so, I'll do everything…"

He hugged me...

"I'll make it worth your while."

From that moment on, I accepted the condition of being with him hust when it was possible, and wait for that moment to pass, and hope the label would cancel that damn clause, and hope it wouldn't hurt much to see with with someone else...  
>I had to trust him, and his words... I knew it would be hard, but not that much.<p>

I was weird watching him leave, I wanted to throw myself in his arms and ask him to be there with me forever, but I was sure he was going to work things out, and that thought relaxed me... we would not see each other for 2 weeks, he would be in a hotel out of town with the guys from the label…  
>He texted me in the middle of the night, said he missed me, but the only time I tried to call him, Kim answered... and I didn't have the guts to say anything...<p>

To distract myself from that, I sent my portfolio to a few websites, I wanted to do some work, I had paid a loto f Money for those classes... I hadn't used my câmera in ages.  
>Speaking of it, Matt came euphoric to my room:<p>

"You're shooting my party, right?"

"what party, Matt?"

"My God, I can't believe you forgot your only brother's birthday!"

"I did not forget your birthday, I just wasn't aware there would be a party too!"

"So, dad said we can use his friend's hangar... it's big, dark, sinister!"

"Sinister? Is it Halloween?"

"Come on, don't be boring, even David is going, you have to go too!" 

The week dragged on, I had no answers from the sites, I barely heard from David, but party day had come, I had no Idea what to wear... specially when "sinister" came to my mind, I chose jeans and a t-shirt... but I figured David might show up, and it would be a good idea if he saw me all dressed up…. I changed to a dress.  
>I got there early with Matt, to help him get everything ready, the place was really scary, but in a harming way, the dim lights, the huge stock of drinks, loud music, Matt's friends were very excited...<p>

I was surrounded by a few friends of Matt, and then I saw one of them saying to the other:

"Wow, Look who's coming in..."

"And he's so cute... too bad he brought his girlfriend along…" The other one replied.

I knew who they were talking about.

David let go of Kim's hand right at the door, I pretended I didn't see him coming in, until I realized he was taking too long to come and talk to me...  
>I couldn't take it, I walked towards the table with all the drinks, when I took the first step I realized I was a little drunk, due to the amount of drinks I had waiting for him to come and say hello, at least...<p>

David was sitting in a corner, and Kim was talking endlessly. When he saw me, he blinked, and she automatically turned to see who he blinked to. When our gaze met, she started talking to him again, she didn't talk to me.  
>As far as I knew, I didn't like her, but I didn't know it was mutual. Something weird had happened.<p>

I showed politeness and courage, I leaned to say hello to them, and before my frustration could be any bigger, David showed me he remembered our promise, and whispered in my ear that he wanted to talk to me...  
>But she just wouldn't leave him alone, and after 2 hours, lot of drinks, and the fact that I had already given up on talking to him, I felt my cell vibrate, I had some trouble to read the words…<p>

"I'm waiting 4 u, under the stairs..."


	28. Away

**Away**

I ran, Kim was distracted talking to a girl, and on the last step I felt David pulling me to the dark side, he was gorgeous, smelling great as usual, he knew he was...

He smiled, we smiled, I missed him so much, nobody said a word before we kiss passionately... Just when he was already lifting my dress, I stopped him:

"Are you crazy? Not here, David..."

It was hard to resist, but I had to... It would be too much for me, giving myself to him, and right next, seeing him with Kim….  
>He agreed, and kissed me, we stayed together until we heard a noise on the stairs... I pushed him and ran upstairs... It was nobody, David showed up a few minutes later...<p>

Matt had to be carried out of the party, David put him in the car, and asked me if I wanted any help with him, but Kim seemed to be worst than Matt, and he had to take her home.  
>We didn't have time to talk... but he promised he would call me the next day so we could meet... in the car, Matt was hardly moving, just moaning that he was sick...<p>

The next day, I waited for his call, but I had to go to a movie studio that liked my material, when I got home I was very anxious to see if there was any lost call or message...

But my cell had just vanished, I couldn't remember if I had taken it with me or not, I searched my purse, my room, I always did that, losing things…. But David had my house number, if he wanted to talk to me until I solve this problem...

But he didn't call.

I was hardly home in the following week, went to some interviews, after new equipments, and asked Matt to buy me a new cell... but he was busy too, with a new girl he was going out with.  
>Fortunately, in one of these busy days, I answered a call from David, he couldn't talk much but asked me to meet him that night, he would pick me up close to home.<br>I got dressed and went downstairs, in the living room Matt asked me where I was going all dressed up... I told him I was going to the movies, and he said he wanted to go too...

"I felt like going to the movies, I just passed by it and ran into David and Kim... wanna go? We can meet them there."

I said I had company, went out alone and wandered through the streets, alone, feeling like crying…  
>I definitely couldn't understand what was going on, but I didn't want to blame him, I knew that would be hard for him too, Kim didn't give a break, she was all over him all the time, this distance between us was torturing me, I didn't have a clue about what was going on in his mind, and what he was doing to make the situation better.<br>At that moment, my only assurance was that "I love you" he said the last time we made love….

I went back home, everybody was already sleeping, and I was decided not to give up, but I was sleepless, and I decided to watch a movie.  
>The noise I was making woke Matt up, and he came to watch the movie with me... it was a romantic one, I was almost bursting into tears and I joked:<p>

"I hate love…"

And he replied:

"I know, people do crazy things because of love... Can you believe David paid U$S 500,00 at that Friends deluxe collection…"

I felt like celebrating, but I couldn't do that in front of Matt, I was so happy he remembered me, he knew I was crazy about Friends, and as soon I could make the money, I'd buy the collection... but Matt put na end at my happiness…

"And to give to Kim! He really must like her, don't you think?"

Days went by and more similar episodes happened, that made me feel more and more disappointed with him… He was weird too, distant from me...

I decided to talk to him...

"Dave... I think it's better if we stop this... It's obvious that we don't work out as a couple, just as friends... The fact that we insisted on this, changed our relationship… it's better if we stay as friends, I like you so much, you are one of the most important people in my life, I don't wanna lose that…"

"I know... I realized that too... It's better if we end this now before it gets worst. Let's be just friends, as we always were... "

We held tight…. It would be hard to forget him, but it was better to keep him close as a friend than away, after a bigger disappointment…

* * *

><p><em>Don't forget to read the other fanfic! it's a complement to this one! .nets/7733962/_


	29. Nightmare

**Nightmare**

Days went by and I was very sad. I missed David... but it wasn't that easy... Matt always asked me what was going on, but I couldn't tell him, he didn't know anything…. For all purposes, David was dating Kim...

Matt was different too, but I didn't asked anything... If I couldn't answer, I didn't have the right to ask.  
>Dave and I went back to being just friends. At least we were playing to be... <p>

David invited me to go to a Fox party, he said he would take Matt too, but I got a shooting for the same day and I couldn't make it on time to go to the party. Matt was bugging me.

"But you HAVE to go, Anne!"

"I can't Matt! I can't refuse a job like this, no way…".

And besides, Dave was taking Kim, it's better not to see this depressing scene...

And I even had to go with Matt looking for a tux, he couldn't even do this by himself…

When I came home from the shooting, they had already gone to the party.

I tried not to think about what was going on there. I watched a movie and went to bed. I woke up with the cell ringing, I checked the clock, 3 am… unknown number. Since Matt's accident, those midnight calls freaked me out…

"Anne Lewis?"

I sat on the bed, my heart was racing.

"Yes!"

"This is from the Police station. Your brother Matthew was arrested, he is here with us… could you come over here?"

I was already picking up some clothes.

"Of course, I'm going there right now!"

I gave it a second thought. What if it was a prank? Someone trying to have fun in the middle of the night? I called Matt and Dave's cells, nobody answered. I decided to go to the police station to check. Some bad luck, the one day my folks weren't home! I got Matt's car and drove there.

"Hi man, excuse me! I'm looking for my brother, Matthew Lewis… is he here? What happened to him?"

"He's over there. He is here for assault."

And he pointed without even looking at me.

Matt was sitting in the hall, looking down. Before I could get to him, the delegate spoke…

"There's another one with him, he's coming with the officer...his situation is more complicated, he was arrested for assault and drug possession.

I looked back and dropped my purse.

It was David.


	30. Jail

**Jail**

The officer was grabbing him, he had handcuffs on, his shirt was dirty, there were some bruises on his face, he was dragging him through the hall, David kept his head down, when he passed by me he looked up, he stared me with an ashamed, desperate look…  
>I was paralyzed, I couldn't talk, I couldn't breathe, I walked towards Matt barely feeling my legs, while the officer was pushing David into a tiny cell, I could hear from the hall that guy yelling at him...<p>

I leaned in front of Matt…

"What's going on, tell me for the love of God!"

He was biting his nails, his shirt was dirty too, he was looking at me with a childish look, like a kid in trouble...

"Anne, I don't know how to explain, I don't even know how to begin... help me, please?"

He held me crying a lot, he was shaking, I had never seen Matt that nervous…

The officer came, pulled Matt by his arm and asked me:

"Do you have a lawyer? You're gonna need one…. Now the little guy here will get some sleep... of course, if he can…"

And he gave me a sarcastic smile, shaking Matt...

I followed them, I begged him to let me talk to my brother a little longer, but he was pretending not to listen….

"Get out of here lady, this is not the place for such a pretty girl like you to be at this time of the night... and I guess you're not gonna enjoy watching what's gonna happen to your little brother and his friend now..."

I felt disgusted, and afraid about what could happen, I needed to understand what was going on... when someone yelled at the officer telling that the other "gang" had arrived, he ran away, he seemed anxious to get the other guys involved in the fight…

I walked to the end of the hall, and I got to David's cell, he was sitting on the corner, with his knees drawn up to his chest, his head down, and I could hear him sobbing, crying...

"David, look at me..."

He raised his head, his eyes were red, he got up staggering, seemed weak, he was pale, sweating... he reached the bars and grabbed them, he looked into my eyes...

"Anne..."

I didn't let him go on, and I started talking, my heart was heavy, I was feeling sorry for him, but I couldn't agree with that situation...

"David, I don't know what's going on in your mind, I know you're starting a career now, and there's a lot of temptations, but I didn't expect this from you…."

His eyes widened, he frowned, he seemed astonished with my judgment…

"Are you mad? You don't know what happened!"

I decided to hear his explanation, but instead of claryfying everything, he only confirmed my disappointment...

"Actually, I don't even know myself..."

I lowered my head, he must be still a little high, he seemed very confused, I turned my back at him…. He yelled:

"Anne, don't you trust me?"

I looked back, wiped my tears away with my sleeve, and answered...

"When you go back to being the David I met, maybe I will…"


	31. Escape

**Escape**

I was devastated, how was possible that my life could be ruined in just one night? I got into the car, I didn't even have strenght to start the engine... I was just sitting there, thinking about how to tell my parents, how to get Matt out of that situation, and the real reason that was happening...

I couldn't realize that David could be using drugs, but after he agreed with that ridiculous clause on his contract, I don't doubt anything now... he was very vulnerable, and I was completely dissapointed.

I went home to get some clothes to Matt and take to the Police station, when I got there the officer didn't let me go into the hall where the cells were, but from were I was, I could hear David's voice talking to somebody...

"Everything was okay, I was talking to Matt, the guys came from nowhere looking furious, we were only defending ourselves..."

I heard Andrew's voice replying…

"Ok, Dave, but what about the drug? The officer told me there was a packet in your pocket!"

When David was about to reply, the officer yelled at me to get out of there, outside I saw a car full of man in suits coming, they were definitely the guys from the label, and they were either gonna rush up David's mistake, or he had just ended his career….

I called my parents when I got home, I calmly tried to explain that Matt had got into a fight, but my mom was desperate, she wanted to come back home in the middle of the night, I waited for them in the living room, staring at the turned off TV.  
>The sun was rising when they got home, I hadn't slept at all, they held me, they had already gone to the Police station with the lawyer but weren't able to get Matt out of there, they had to wait for some testimonials from witnesses... my mom said exactly what I was afraid of hearing...<p>

"Baby, what about David? I'm chocked, you knew he had drugs in his pocket? Beth was there, she was devastated… do you think he has been using it for long? Do you think Matt is using it too? I'm so sad..."

So many questions no one had the answer, I went to bed and slept until my phone ring, I looed at the screen, it was a number from another country I guess... Brazil, maybe?

I answered with my heart racing, at this point I didn't know what to expect from live anymore, but it was good news, great news actually, one of the producers I left my portfolio on, was in Brazil for a shooting and they needed more people, they'd pay for everything, with one condition... I had to be there the next day.

I packed, but gave it a second thought... my brother was arrested, my parents would be alone, but it was my chance, I needed to get out of there, run away from that nightmare, I explained everything to my parents, they were very supportive. I left a letter to Matt, so he could read it when he left prision, what I expected to be soon, and I left to Brazil.

I arrived in São Paulo and went out for dinner with the people from the producer, we talked about the project, I was excited... but I needed a shoulder to cry on, I decided to surprise my friend who lived there... I rented a car and drove to Lara's.

We talked all night long, first Lara told me she and Rodrigo had broken up, and he was already dating a girl named Fernanda... we had a wine, and I promised her she was going back to US with me, as soon as I finished my project, I told her everything that had happened with David, she was disappointed but tried to cheer me up...

It was my first day if shooting, I was so excited, the city was amazing and it was so hot, we barely had a break, in the end of the day I was exhausted, but went to dinner with Lara, I was happy to hear they had Outback there too... on my way there, my mom called.

"Anne, guess what?"

"I don't know mom! Say it! Did they let Matt go?"

"No baby, only David..."

* * *

><p><em>So guys, Anne is in Brazil, I had to find a way to put my country and hometown in the story hahahahaha... I hope you enjoy!<em>


	32. Meeting

**Meeting**

I was so angry.

"What do you mean, they only released David? Why my brother hasn't?

"Because the label bailed him out... and you know baby, we still don't have the money to do the same… we're gonna try something…"

"Don't worry mom, I'm gonna figure something out, my brother will not stay in prison!"

As soon as I hang up the phone, my eyes were filled with angry tears. Why just David? Is he more important than Matt just because he's famous now? It's so ironic, he's the one with drugs and he's released before Matt, who only got into a fight… I guess I have never felt so angry with David as I was feeling now… But I was gonna do something, I had some money on the bank and I had already made some more here in Brazil, next dat I'd send it to my mom, so she could bail Matt out too…  
>When I got to Outback, Lara was already waiting for me. She saw I was nervous, I told her what had happened, and I was grateful that she was angry too… She even offered some money to help, but it wasn't necessary… I decided to change the subject, we talked about my project, her comeback to US… we were already laughing when we noticed something odd at the next table. There were a lot of girls screaming and singing to a laptop. And apparently tey didn't care about anyone else. I like this kind of people. But another thing caught my attention. One of them was holding something… it was a picture, and when I looked at the face, I couldn't believe it. It looked like David! No, that's impossible... it was too absurd... I decided to go there and ask.<p>

I asked if they spoke English, and they said so.

"I'm sorry to bother you girls… but I couldn't help noticing… is this… David Cook?"

They laughed out loud.

"Yes, that's him..."

"Really? Do you know him? I didn't even know he was famous here…"

"Actually not much… we watched American Idol…."

"Oh, I get it... and you became fans..."

They all agreed. A short one explained more...

"Actually we became friends because of David, on the internet..."

At least David was good for something, they seemed very united…

"That's very good, I'm happy for you!"

They asked me where I was from, because I spoke English. I said I was from US, they got very excited and asked what city I was from. Here we go.

"I'm from…. Tulsa."

"NO WAY! Are you from David's town? Do you know him?"

Yeah, there was no escape, I'd have to tell the truth, they had nothing to do with my issues with David...

"Actually, I do... very well, in fact. He's my neighboor.

They were all in shock.

"Oh, and we have been friends since childhood…

One of them managed to say something.

"You're kidding us! You don't know him!"

I laughed, got my wallet and showed a picture of David and me, around 5 years old, on his pool. They almost fainted. And started asking questions, everyone at the same time. I answered all of them, trying to make them think David was a nice guy, I didn't want to disappoint them... and apparently the prison news didn't get here, I was glad they covered it... we talked for about half an hour, but then I told them I had to leave.

They asked me if I could give a present to him, I said so, of course, even thought I was hating him, I understood them. That I could do. I gave them Lara's number and said how long I was gonna stay in Brazil, so they could call me and give me the present. I left almost under a ovation.

Next day, I woke up early to gather the money so I could send to my mom. I deposited the money in the afternoon, and called my mom to let her know. She was euphoric.

"Baby you're not gonna believe it! They released Matt!"

"But how come? Did you bail him out?"

"No, Anne! David did!"

I was shocked. I asked to talk to Matt, but he was sleeping. At least David did something right… but I was still mad at him, drugs? How could he have done this, I knew him since forever, fame really changed him…

* * *

><p><em>So, maybe you won't get why Anne met these girls at Outback, this meeting actually happened in real life (not with Anne, obviously), but I've made some amazing friends on the internet because of David Cook, from different states, and in 2008 some of them came to São Paulo so we could meet, and we all went to Outback. So I wanted to mention the girls in this fic, because it was first written for them to read =)<em>


	33. Visitor

**Visitor**

A couple of days later, I was at a shooting on a park close to the hotel, when I focused a distant spot I saw on the camera something that couldn't be there. I thought I was going crazy. I focused again. It wasn't an alucination. It really was David coming towards me.  
>My legs trembled, my mouth was dry, the image on the camera was blurred because of my trembling hands, what the fuck he was doing in São Paulo?<br>I guess he had a lot of things to explain, but I wasn't expecting he had found out where I was and had just showed up there. My stomach was roiling, he held my camera and asked if we could talk in private.  
>I had no doubts about being rude with him, my voice was still trembling when I spoke...<p>

"Can't you see that I'm working here?"

I hadn't been able to face him yet, his voice was low, he seemed nervous, embarrassed...

"Anne, I came all this way to tell you exactly everything that happened, you have to listen to me!"

He touched my arm, I moved away, my eyes filled with tears, I was very unstable...

"David, leave me alone please, this is a working enviroment, can you respect that?"

"Anne, I'm gonna beg for your attention, even if I have to scream here, s everybody can hear…"

Nobody had noticed him, there were a lot of extras there, but it was impossible for me to continue, I was sweating and trembling…

"Let's get out of here."

While I was getting my stuff, he was walking behind me…

"Where are we going?"

"We? WE are not going anywhere David, you made all of this and you think you can just show up here, make me lose focus, apologize and I'm gonna accept as usual, do you think it's easy for me to see my brother in that jail? Matt is a kid, he doesn't know anything, and I'm sure that as myself, he always trusted you…

"Anne, listen to me..."

"No David, you listen. Drugs? Do you have any Idea how serious this is? We grew up together, and I had never seen you with these things… after this damn show you turned into somebody else… and I just won't accept that you take my brother with you in this…."

He grabbed my arm...

"Listen to me..."

I lost control, I pushed him away and yelled, already crying...

"Let go of me! What do you want, David? You already hurt me enough, I made mistakes with you too, but Matt was always your loyal friend, he was always by your side, I won't admit that you do any harm to him…. How could you let your label bail you out of jail and leave Matt there? Did your producers grow up with you? Did your producers support you when you were nobody?"

His eyes were filled with tears too…

"Well Anne, I can see you're more disappointed with me than I imagined, I actually hoped you would believe me, but I came here to tell you two things, one of them is that I'm innocent, and I'm gonna prove this to you somehow, I just don't know how… not yet…"

He wiped the tears away, but they kept coming, he looked away, took a deep breath…

"And the last thing, I got rid of that clause... actually I don't even have the contract anymore, and I got rid of Kim too... she also didn't trust me…"

"While you don't confess, nobody will trust you..."

He hugged me, I was paralyzed, didn't hug him back, and before leaving, he said...

"You'll understand someday..."


	34. Discovery

**Discovery**

I was so confused I couldn't even remember everything he had told me, I tried to organize the ideas in my head: the fact that he finally got rid of Kim made me relieved, but now that this damn contract had been broken he managed to ruin everything and we were apart again... I was worried because he lost his contract, even though I believed he had to answer for his mistakes his career was only beginning... I was anxious with the fact that he didn't trust me to confess what he had done, and intrigued with his last words...  
>I called Lara crying, she believed I should have tried to get something else out of him, but I didn't regret being firm with him, he had to understand he was not the center of the world…<p>

I called home, Matt answered.

"Matt, how are you? I miss you…"

"I'm fine, I guess... the worst is over... David help me getting out of there..."

"Yeah, I know... can you believe he came here after me?"

"I do! What did he say?"

"I didn't let him talk much, I said everything he had to listen, specially that I don't want him involving you in his troubles... I think he got the message... Matt?"

"Oh Yes, I guess he's not coming after me... at all."

I couldn't sleep, I couldn't stop crying, Lara brought me a tea for me to calm down...

"Lara, do you think someday I'll understand why this happened to me? I always thought Matt, Dave and me would be friends forever..."

She was trying to calm me down...

"You are friends Anne, you're just going through a hard phase... nothing happens by chance, you'll understand someday..."

"Phase? Dave destroyed everything, he threw everything away... I'm glad at least I still have my brother..."

The next day, I woke up with the feeling I had thought about Matt so much that I could feel him around, but this was not by chance, he was sitting on the bed waiting for me to wake up...

I jumped and hugged him, I was missing him so much, and I was very happy with the surprise, but he didn't seemed so happy to see me…

"Anne, I need to tell you the truth... It's a long story..."

We spent 2 hours talking, I had never cried so much in so little time, the story was much more complex that I imagined, I felt angry, sad, surprised, disappointed, betrayed...  
>Matt told me the whole truth, every detail, and I was even more confused, everybody was a little guilty and apparently everyone had an explanation for their attitudes... now it was up to me to judge, understand and forgive (or not) each one of them.<p>

* * *

><p><em>So... bad news... not actually bad, but you know... hahahahaha... I'm traveling again, it's my last trip before going back to Brazil, and I'm gonna be away until the 29th, and I'm not bringing my laptop with me, so... no fanfic until there... I'm still gonna post another chapter of the other fic today, so you'll have a clue about what really happened, but the whole story... only when I come back! <em>

_don't forget to read the other fic! .net/s/7733962_

_see ya!_


	35. Homecoming

**Homecoming**

I didn't know what to think, I was totally confused, lost… I could imagine everything, but not this. I could never imagine that everything was planned by... my brother. I didn't know if I was mad at him or not, in one second I wanted to punch him, and in the other I was trying to see his side… he was a jerk trying to separate David and me, but at least he regretted and tried to fix it, unfortunately it got even worst…

And Dave... It hurt to think about him, I had been so unfair... I thought he didn't value me enough and at the same time he was thinking the same thing about me… He was the one who suffered the most, he was arrested and he didn't even know why… I couldn't take that image out of my mind, David in jail, hurt… and he was innocent… When I've been there, not even for a second I considered he could be innocent, I didn't give him a chance to explain at that moment and also when he traveled thousands of miles to to tell me… and why didn't he tell me when he came to Brazil? One possibility came immediately to my mind: to protect Matt. I couldn't believe David would do that...

Matt asked me if I could forgive him... I had no idea, I needed some time, I wanted to go back home to talk to David… The shooting was ending in 5 days and I'd be able to go back. Lara was making the arrangements to go back too, she had finished her course and managed to book the same flight. Matt was also coming back with us. I was acting normally with him, but I didn't know if I had forgiven him… He didn't mention David, didn't ask anything about him and I was thankful. It hurt more than never to think about him, I didn't know how I was gonna look at him… I tried not to think about this until getting back to the US…

It was like someone was teasing me. On the plane, a girl on the seat next to mine was reading a magazine about David. I tried to sleep, but I couldn't. I didn't wanna get there, I didn't wanna meet David, but of course, the flight was surprisingly short. When I got there, I rested a little bit and picked up the courage. I took a deep breath and went to his place. Andrew told me he was not there. I went back home and I just couldn't wait. I called his cell, it rang for a while before he answer.

"Say it, Anne."

My heart was heavy when I heard his cold voice.

"Hi, Dave... I called because I wanted to talk to you… can you come over?"

"Oh, so you're back from Brazil?"

"Yeah... today... can you come?"

"Okay, I'll stop by before I go home."

I was about to say something, I don't know what, a good-bye, but he had already hung up. I couldn't focus on anything for the entire afternoon until I hear the door bell, finally... When I opened the door, he didn't look me in the eyes, his head was low...

"Why did you call me here, Anne? To throw more accusations at me of being a bad influence to little Matty? Or to give me brochures of rehabs?"

I hold the tears.

"Dave... Matt went there to talk to me, he told me everything that had hapenned, that it was his fault and Kim's too… that you didn't even know why you were being arrested, It was not your fault…"

I couldn't read his expression.

"I'm glad he did, it was the least he could do... I hope you believed him, at least."

"Why are you using this tone, David?"

"Don't be ironic, Anne! You treated me as if I was a drug dealer, with no chance to defend myself! I thought, for all those years of friendship, that I could count on you, but I was wrong…"

I didn't know what to think, my heart was heavy again, I wanted to run away and hide in my room… I took a deep breath.

"You didn't even give me a chance to beileve in you, David. What did you want me to think? You show up with drugs, out of nowhere, and doesn't give a reasonable explanation! You went all the way to Brazil after me and didn't say anything, I wanna know from you, why?"

"Why? Did you gave me a chance to explain what happened? You threw in my face that I was a bad influence to your brother! Holy Matt, he didn't do anything wront, poor guy! I lost the courage because I knew you'd be mad at him, and despite of everything, he is your brother, I didn't want that… I thought it was better if he told you when he had the chance and if he wanted to, beucase then you wouldn't acuse me of making things up, he'd be the one to tell you everything… At least now you believe it? Or do you think Matt made all this up to cover up for me?"

I couldn't look into his eyes. When I spoke, my voice was a whisper...

"Of course I believe you..."

"That's good to hear. I'm afraid it's a bit too late, though."

I stared at him.

"What do you mean, David?"

"You didn't believe me. I can't let this go. I was a mess in this cell, dirty, my body was hurt, I could barely stand up… and I felt as if you were stepping on my stomach, you looked at me as if I was an outlaw, you didn't even bother asking if I was guilty or not… I can't let it go that easily… I'm sorry Anne, but I need to take a break… from you."

I couldn't hold my tears. I couldn't say anything.

He got his back pack, opened it, put in on the floor, got the Friends collection out of it and threw on the table.

"I had bought this for you. I always knew you loved it, I thought you'd like to have it, I was going to give you this in Sao Paulo. But I didn't have the chance… do whatever you want with this."

He got his back pack, but it was opened and some stuff fell off. He took them angrily, put the bag on his back and left. I was petrified, staring at the Dvds, the tears rolling down. I imagined he would be mad at me, but not that much...

I couldn't sleep at night, I woke up a lot of times and by instinct, seached for something I knew it wasn't there… next day, I was out all day, I went to the mall with Lara, I didn't wanna talk to Matt, I didn't wanna see David… I got home in the evening, there was nobody home, only a note from Matt saying he had gone out with Andrew... I lay down on the couch and took me a while to realize there was a crumpled paper on the floor. I got it and smoothed it out. It was beautiful... it looks like... a poem? No... it was his handwritting... and coming from him, it could only be one thing...


	36. Once Again

**Once Again**

I ran to his place, he was in his room, sitting by the window.

"Dave, what song is this?"

He took the paper from my hand and made a scary face.

"Where did you find this?"

"On the floor of my living room, you left it there when you dropped your opened back Pack… what song is this?"

He shrugged his shoulders.

"It's a song that I wrote! Why, is it forbidden? You're the only song writter around here by chance?

I took the guitar and handed it to him.

"Sing it to me."

He was surprised, said he didn't feel like it, but I insisted and he did it. While he sang, he didn't look into my eyes not even for a moment... he stared at the guitar.

_I feel alive beside you_  
><em>And all it was, I am whole again<em>  
><em>We've fall into each other<em>  
><em>Your atmosphere is all I'm breathing in<em>  
><em>And in this rush, we are crushed<em>

_Carry me down, rolling in your arms_  
><em>Cause I can't remember ever falling this hard<em>  
><em>Tell me tonight, all that we have been<em>  
><em>Was it nothing more, then noise inside my head<em>  
><em>Crashing down, crashing down<em>

_In your avalanche..._

_These scars we wear remind us_  
><em>The more we change, the more we're all the same<em>  
><em>Swept up in this emotion<em>  
><em>We'd fumbled through and made the same mistakes<em>  
><em>Cause we are led, to the edge<em>

_Carry me down, rolling in your arms_  
><em>Cause I can't remember ever falling this hard<em>  
><em>Tell me tonight, all that we have been<em>  
><em>Was it nothing more, then noise inside my head<em>  
><em>Crashing down, crashing down<em>

_In your avalanche…_

When he finished, he looked through the window again.

"Who did you write this song to, Dave?"

He didn't move.

"Was it for me?"

He got up and faced me.

"And why do you care? In fact, I don't even know why you're here… I told you I want a break from you, you didn't believe me when I said I had nothing to do with the drugs thing, You didn't trust me!

This time I wouldn't let it go.

"You are so unfair, David. You must have a little memory problem... You want me to remind you when you did the same thing to me?"

I got his full attention.

"What are you talking about?"

"Gee David, it's like you forgot that YOU didn't believe me when I told you your beautiful and perfect girlfriend Kim was hitting on my brother! How come you don't remember, you were standing right there, by this same window! You didn't even want to hear me, you chose to believe some cheap girl you had just met rather than believe me, who knows you since forever! You had to see a tape, you had to have the truth rubbed in your face to see it was true! Now tell me, who didn't believe who first? You really think you have the right to judge me? Think about it..."

He was quiet for a while...

After about 5 minutes, he talked, still looking down...

"Of course the song is for you... who else would it be for?"

I went towards him, hold his face and lifted it, forcing him to look into my eyes, and kissed him smoothly, slowly... I was in no hurry, at all...

* * *

><p><em>Guys, don't forget to read the other fic too, David's version, it's very mportant to understand everything!<em>

_.net/s/7733962/1/Its_up_to_me_to_forget_


	37. Other Trip

**Trip**

He stopped the kiss, put the guitar down, looked into my eyes and pulled me back to his arms... that kiss was the most sincere apology that could exist, from my behalf, for not believe him, and from his, for not making an effort to prove me the truth, but he had a reason: to protect Matt, and at that moment he came to my mind…  
>My brother had made one of the worst mistakes of his life, but he was so imature that he was even ingenuous, I had to be harsh on him, but I had to make him aware of my love for him, after all, he did all of that because of his love for me.<br>And lost in these thoughts, I stopped the kiss and asked David to wait for me, because I had a very important thing to do, he was a little confused but let me go.

On the way home I thought about a thousand things to say, I thought about giving him a lecture, tell him that he needed to grow up and learn a lot of things, or that he was a jealous and unlucky jerk, or that he should get a girlfriend and take care of his life, but when I entered the living room and saw him sitting on the couch, feeling down, playing videogame but not really looking at the TV, I could just jump on him and give him a hug.

Matt gave me a childish look, I remembered when we were kids and I apologize to him for hiding his favorite toy car... he was embarrased when he felt his eyes filling with tears, hid his face in my chest, and with a trembling voice, said:

"Will you forgive me?"

I knew he was not very good with words, but just those ones meant a lot to him.

"Did you learn something from all of this?"

He just nodded, he still looked like a scared child.

"I think everything is cook Matt, let's forget about this. It's gonna take a while for things to go back the way they used to be, but we'll be fine."

"That's why I love you, little sis!"

We cried together.

"Hmm... now, get out of my lap, you're heavy."

Apparently Matt wouldn't take much to go back to what he used to be.

I felt relieved and excited to start again, I just didn't know how things were between Dave and Matt, but they were boys and I think they'd be cool in no time, maybe a soccer match would be enough.

Before going to bed, I tried to sing the song Dave had written to me, but it didn't make sense in my voice. It just didn't make sense at all.

I woke up with a shouting, I thought Matt was celebrating something, but he wasn't alone, I heard the wardrobe doors banging, and that unique laughter: David?

They were in good terms, and already making a mess, I sat on the bed to think, and they rushed into the room, laughing, yelling, and the worst part: dressing flowery shirts.

They jumped on my bed, and for a moment I wished we were not speaking yet, I forgot how enthusiastic they could be.

I got under the blanket but they pulled it, and yelled:

"Anneeee we are going to Hawaii!"

It was a dream, it could only be a dream, but I realized it wasn't when I fell David's scent close to me...

"Calm down! Are you crazy? Drunk? It's still morning time, come on!"

Matt laughed, and David Matt riu, and David muttered:

"Gee, Sis! What a bad-mood!"

Hearing him calling me Sis with that dirty look, made my humor change.

"Ok, so let me know, where is the costume party? Or should I say tacky party?"

Matt looked bored.

"Your mood-killer. We are serious, we are going to Hawaii!"

I had to laugh.

"Ok, have a good trip. Literally!"

David got up and pretended to be mad, I know he was only pretending because I knew him that much... I could tell by his expresion.

"Let it go, Matt, let's find somebody to give the third..."

Matt yelled:

"Ticket!"

And he got 2 tickets out of his pocket, making a ridiculous dance.  
>It was true, they had bought the tickets.<p>

David yelled:

"I have an idea. Let's take Andrew? Or Lara? Or Paula Abdul?"

"Ok, you win, when is our departure?"

Matt answered smiling:

"In 5 hours."

I packed quickly, actually I hadn't unpacked since I came back from Brazil, and I thought the weather there was similar, so I was taking pretty much the same clothes...

We laughed a lot during the flight, the guys wouldn't stop talking, but eventually the 3 of us fell asleep.  
>I woke up first and looked out of the window, we were above the clouds, I looked at David and saw him opening his Green eyes too, and looking at me…<br>He looked at Matt, who was pretty much asleep, got closer to me and asked for a kiss…

I whispered:

"Are you crazy?"

He whispered back:

"What? He knows everything, we don't have to hide anymore..."

"I don't know, Dave, I'm still... afraid, or maybe embarrassed of doing this in front of him."

"He's drooling, snoring, he's not even gonna notice it, just a little kiss…"

Who could resist those eyes, I kissed him, but I was so afraid Matt would wake up, and then I realized it would be weird to go through the whole trip like that.

I had to decide how it would be. Apparently David already had.


	38. Hawaii

**Hawaii**

The hotel was just amazing, I was surprised in a good way to know Matt had planned the whole trip.  
>We'd share the same room, and what a room! There was a nice bathroom and a private pool.<br>The boys were making a mess in the room, jumping on the bed, opening the mini-bar, Matt got 3 cans of beer out of it and we went to the balcony, we looked at the beautiful view of lights and palm trees, and we made a toast.

"To us... always."

It was very hot, Matt was the first to jump in the pool, from inside the room I saw Matt putting the can on the floor, taking off his shirt and jumping too, seeing him wet still brings good memories.  
>I turned around to put some clothes in the closet, when I felt a cold hug, and Matt yelling:<p>

"Go Dave, pick her up and bring her here!"

It was impossible to struggle, he jumped in the water with me, it was already nighttime, and the stars in the Sky were inviting for a walk on the beach…

Matt seemed intimidated on going with us, but we convinced him, maybe that was the time for him to know how it all began… We walked on the beach making jokes, but we were tense, we know we'd eventually have to talk about the "subject"... we walked together towards the sea and sat all facing each other.

Matt took a deep breath and started.

"So... what a ride."

We all laughed, David went on...

"I know... I mean, so many things happened these last months, right? I won AI, recorded a CD, Anne turned 21, almost got married, we got arrested (he said that bit staring at Matt), and… I fell madly I love."

I must confess that I loved hearing that husky voice saying that... so I agreeded.

"So did I."

Matt joked.

"With Kyle?"

David looked at me too to check the answer.

"Of course not... that was... I don't know what that was. But I guess you know who I'm talking about, you know him very well, and so do I, but I never thought I could feel something something so different for him…"

I looked at the sea, I had no courage to face them, but I went on...

"This person grew up with me, my friend, almost like a brother, became the man of my dreams..."

Matt interrupted me:

"What moment did this happen?"

I wished he had asked this to David, I wanted to know when he realized that.

He apparently heard my thoughts and answered...

"When the feeling was born I'm not sure, love always existed, fraternal love..."

I interrupted him:

"That song..."

Matt didn't understand.

"What song?"

"I wrote a song, but I didn't know who I had wrote to... but when I sang to him, I was sure..."

David asked:

"Sure about what you were feeling?"

It was like Matt wasn't there anymore…

"Sure about what I've always felt."

And then i stared at him, his eyes were shining, he smiled, the truth is, it wasn't just Matt who wanted to know where it all began, we had never thought about it, and maybe we never had an answer to that question.

But Matt had his own theory.

"I think I know where it all began."

David and I asked together.

"Where?"

"When we were kids and you "got married" in the backyard."

We got up laughing and continued walking, we found a group of tourists on a luau, and we joined them, between songs, stories and laughter, we saw Matt getting closer to a girl and they were apparently bonding, so David put his arm onn my shoulders and whispered in my ear...

"I'd love to look at this sky, lying next to you..."

I joked:

"If I lie down here, my hair will be full of sand."

He hugged me.

"You funny girl..."

To make up for that joke, I asked Matt for the key to the room and winked at him, to let him know he could (and should) take his time at the beach, and apparently he loved the idea of spending more time with his new friend.


	39. Mark

**Mark**

We went to the hotel in silence, my heart was beating so fast that if I tried to speak I'd gasp or stutter, he was quiet too, but I could feel his hand was sweating. It was obvious both of us were madly desiring each other.  
>I opened the door, took off my shoes and through the mirror I could see him doing the same, I took his hand and we went outside, it was dark, except for 2 posts with little lamps and the moonlight, we sat on the edge of the pool, and I finally spoke…<p>

"So, you didn't answer my question... to you, when did it all start?"

He looked at the water, the sky, took a deep breath and answered.

"Anne, I don't know exactly when it started but I know I don't want it to end

I must have made a silly romantic face, I felt I was blushing and so was he.

"Are you hot?"

How could I not be hot, so close to him? His feet were already inside the pool, he took his shirt off and stared at me, leaving me embarassed, I was admiring his muscles and forgot to answer…

"Well, I don't know about you, but I am!"

He stood up, dropped his shorts, and jumped into the pool.

He was trying to splash water in me, he could get me all wet and I wouldn't even care... then he swam towards me, took my leg, that was inside the pool, and started kissing my foot, staring at me at the same time, the water reflected on his face, which was perfect...  
>I ran my hand through his wet hair, he bit his lips and asked:<p>

"Coming?"

I took my dress off, and felt his cold hands holding me and undoing my bra, while he whispered in my ear...

"Let me take care of this for you..."

I was still sitting on the edge of the pool, he started kissing my neck, he left a wet trail through my body, his fingers were grabbing hard my legs...

My body softened, when he finally took my panties off and pulled me inside the water, holding me against him, the feeling of our bodies so close to each other again was amazing, and made me lose control, I held him as hard as I could and kissed him, ran my hand through his back, his arms, I looked down and saw his already transparent underwear, I decided it shouldn't be there, so I took it off.

He carried me through the pool, on the other side there were a few submerged steps, he sat me on the last one, a parto f my body was out of the water and he asked me...

"I don't want you to look at me now..."

It was impossible to do so, but he went on, with his rusky voice convincing me...

"See those stars? I want you to look at them..."

I leaned back, and felt him grabbing my waist and slid into me... my body shivered with the contrast between the cold water, the warm breeze and his hot body inside me.

He pulled me back against his body saying...

"Now it's my turn to see stars..."

He shouldn't have given me this power, I was on top of him teasing him when I saw he was almost surrendering, but among the silence of the water it was amazing hearing him breathless, and in a crazy moment I increased the speed and made him yell with pleasure.

We held each other and stayed that way for a few moments, staring at the stars.

The ones that were shining in our own eyes. 

We got dressed and lay down on a hammock on the balcony, and we slept there, waiting for Matt, who only showed up in the morning and called us to go have breakfast.  
>The girl from the previous night was with him, and he introduce her to us.<p>

Rachel was from Chicago, she was short, had long hair, some freckles, big green eyes, talked a lot, and was very friendly. She had a good sense of humor and it seemed they've known each other for ages. In a funny way, they fit, but we didn't know exactly what was going on between them.  
>During breakfast she told us she was traveling with a group of friends, to celebrate graduation from college, and they were staying in the next hotel...<br>She had been there for almost 5 days already, and decided to take us downtown with her friends on the evening...

We met them, there were about 6 friends, and they suggested we went to "Pipeline Café", a club in Honolulu, it was very exciting, we danced a lot and had the famous Hawaiian drinks, Blue Hawaii, Mai Tai and Piña Colada.  
>I loved meeting Rachel's friends, they reminded me of my Australia fase, and the boys got along well on the bar, celebrating, laughing and talking while they "appreciated" the colorful drinks.<p>

The high volume of the music was already bothering me, and then one of the guys had the brilliant Idea of getting out of there, but we didn't know he had a place in mind.

When we got to the other door, the sign indicated his plan...

**"Hawaii Ink : Tattoo 24hours" **, David stared at me completely clueless about what was going on, but Matt was excited among the guys and got in there with them.

So, they all decided to get the same tattoo, to symbolize the graduation, and the begining of a new era, they were all drunk and probably wouldn't feel the pain…  
>Matt, David and I sat on a couch in the waiting room, and after a few minutes, while we were looking at some tattoo magazines, David sugested:<p>

"So, what are we getting?"

Matt and I acted as if we hadn't understood.

"Our what?"

David threw the magazine on the table.

"Out tattoo! We are also starting a new era..."

Matt ignored David's new philosophy, but it actually made sense...

"Come on David, it's not really the beginning of a new era, our friendship always existed, it's eternal…"

and I completed it…

"It's permanent."

David smiled, got up and said:

"That's it, then. "It's permanent", this will be our tattoo, choose the body parts you wanna get yours."

I was kinda scared, Matt and David were excited, and the threee of us decided to do it on our back.  
>Matt went first, David and I were on each side holding his hand, and then it was David's turn, when he took his shirt off I could see the malicious looks on the faces of Rachel's friends.<br>I hold his hand, but he was actually calm, he already had 4 tattoos.  
>And finally my turn, I lay on my stomach and asked him to sit in front of me, he did, held my hand and told me it was not gonna hurt.<p>

That was a lie.

It did hurt, but I could handle the pain while I was looking at him.

Finally we had our Mark, we looked in the mirror and held each other. Rachel took pictures, when we left the studio it was almost dawn…

David grabbed my hand and turned to Matt

"Hey Matt, if you don't mind I'm gonna watch the sunrise with Anne… and you can enjoy the hotel pool..."he threw him the key and blinked.

He put me on his back to cross the street and go to the beach, it had been a while since he did that, but when he got to the sand, he tripped and we fell, and laughed at ourselves for a while.


	40. On the Beach

**On the beach**

I rested my head on his chest, his scent was driving me crazy and I was unbuttoning his shirt while whispering in his ear...

"You know, this trip is being so funny to me..."

He ran his fingers through my hair when he answered...

"To me too, it's easier to forget what happened, away from everything…"

His shirt was already opened, I was running my fingers through his belly, his hair shivered.

"And besides, here I did one of the things I always wanted to do and never had the guts…"

"What?"

"The tattoo..."

"So I guess we could do something I always wanted to do, but never had the guts…"

I knew he did have the guts, after all he didn't have any shame, but I wished he hadn't had the opportunity yet, and of course I didn't think twice about saying yes to him.  
>He got up and reached out to me, and I grabbed his hand. He pulled me hard and I knew that moment would be breath taking.<p>

Beach was completely empty, we only had the sunrise as company, the cold sea wet our feet when we got behind a big rock.

I started wondering, we were really romantic those days, but I was interrupted by David grabbing me and turning my back to him, with one hand he pushed my hair aside, bit my neck and whispered in my ear...

"Lean yourself on the rock..."

My legs were shaking, I did what he asked while his hands were undressing me, he held me with one arm close to his body, and took his own clothes off with the other one...

I was naked, with my back to him, afraid someone might show up, but the adrenalin apparently was turning him on even more, I felt his heart beating fast, his hot breath on my neck, his stomach on my back, and I went crazy with his fingers runing through my belly and touching me on the same rhythm of his breath...

When I couldn't stay up anymore, he turned me around, facing him, leaned on the rock and picked me up, I put my legs around his body, even sweating, with the sunlight reflected in his eyes, he still had strenght to support me and make all the movements while we were kissing.  
>When he interrupted the kiss, I already knew, he reclined his head, closed his eyes, and I felt him inside me, while he whispered my name.<p>

We got dressed, I could barely feel my legs, and the sun was finally completely out, and it was reflected on the sea.

I was walking in front of him, I was so light, my back was suddenly cold, of course he was kicking sea water at me...

"Stop it David, don't you ever calm down?"

He smiled and hugged me…

"Never!"

And the days went by in Hawaii, it was like we were on honeymoon, and Matt apparently found the right distraction to him.  
>But I must confess, watching him kissing Rachel for the first time in the pool brought me a weird feeling of... jealousy. And the I remembered what this could cause, and kept control, she seemed a nice girl, and maybe she could fix him a little bit. But if she ever did him any harm, I'd kick her ass.<p>

...

It was our last day in Hawaii, and with the help of the people from the other hotel we threw a big luau, with drinks, bonfire, guitar and the beautiful full moon.  
>Beach was full, we got there with the intention of having an amazing time in our final night.<br>Boys started having their drinks, but this time each of them had their own bottle.  
>Rachel took pictures of us, and she was sad because Matt was leaving the next day. She asked me to take a walk with her, she wanted to talk to me.<p>

The guys were sitting with some new friends, I crouched behind David to let him know.

"I'm gonna take a walk with Rachel, do you wait for me?"

He turned, his eyes were already reddish, he was clearly drunk already...

"I told you I'm always gonna wait for you."

I memorized the place we were at, there was a loto f people on the beach, Rachel and I walked towards the rocks, she was holding a bottle of wine, and started talking…

"You know Anne, your brother told me your thing with David..."

I laughed…

"You are a beautiful couple, it's obvious that you really know each other, I admire that... I wish I could live that with someone..."

I didn't know what to say, I was not the best person in the world to give love advice, but she continued...

"I wish I could live this with Matt, I know we've only known each other a few days, but I really like him… he is so funny, he makes me laugh all the time, and he's an amazing kisser…"

Okay, she didn't have to give me details, I knew my brother, and I did not want to know how he kissed, or... performed in bed, so I interrupted her...

"Rachel, if you really like him go for it, I bet if you are a little patient everything Will work out..."

I got the bottle from her hand and took the last sip, she offered to get another one…

"Wait for me here, I'm getting more drinks to us, sis-in-law!"

That word hurt, I'd have to take another bottle to forget.

It was incredible hot, and I decided to get off the rock to wet my feet, and of course, with all my coordination and the alcohol, I slipped and fell.

"Want some help, babe?"

I looked up, I hadn't recognized the coive, it was a guy I had never seen before, tall, dark hair, with a beard, wearing a white shirt, he wasn't ugly, bt was apparently stoned, his eyes were dark red...

I got up...

"No, it's fine."

He waved at someone behind the rock, I was a little scared, 3 other gys showed up, apparently locals, and stared at me as if they had found something they had been searching for ages.

I tried to calm down, Rachel would be back soon, I only had to keep them away, I mean, what could they do among all those people, I tried small talk...

"What's up boys, enjoying the party?"

The one in the front answered...

"Actually, our party starts now..."

I was looking around and pretending I was calm..."

"Really? Why? Did you just get here? "

He looked at his friends laughing, and turned back to me.

"Us? We are always hanging out here, but YOU just got here."

Now I was freaking out.

"Oh, you were waiting for me, then? I didn't know I was famous around here..."

I faked a smile, but my teeth were locked together. One of them, the short one, talked.:

"Look at that, she's not only pretty, she has a good sense of humor too, just like we appreciate…"

"We"? What did he mean by that? I could only be a joke... and then I started panicking when one of them said:

"Let's not waist anymore time, guys!"

They were coming towards me, the tall one grabbed my arms and dragged me behind the rock again, I screamed David's name a couple of times, and then he silenced me with his hand on my mouth, I started crying, I was so scared, one of them took of my slippers and threw on the sea. Where the fuck was Rachel, David and Matt? I tried to call their names, while that jerk talked in my ear...

"If you yell, you'll make things hard for is, why don't you relax?"

I wasn't gonna do what he wanted, apparently they were unarmed, I was so sure David was gonna show up to help me, ever since we were kids we had a sixth sense with each other, but I was getting weaker, he didn't show up, I couldn't scream anymore...  
>I tried to hit him with my elbow, but he only got angrier, and he told the others...<p>

"Well, I think it's time to start our little party already!"

And one of them tried to take my shorts off.  
>My anger gave me strength to try to kick him, but there were 4 of them so it was in vain, I wanted to throw up when I felt a hand on my legs, I saw someone running towards us, I couldn't see very well, I could only tell it was a man… David? Matt? He'd help me...<p>

But the guy that was holding me got scared and dropped me. The last thing I felt was my head hitting the rock.

I don't how long I stayed there, but I felt his arms carrying me for a few minutes, and then he laid me down on the sand close to the bonfire, I was shaking, probably because the cut on my forehead...  
>I gradually went back to normal, there were a lot of people around looking at me, and the only person I recognized was Rachel saying something I couldn't understand, because there was somebody playing the guitar close to us... .comwatch?v=wIg8kNfJpsg&ob=av2e

So it wasn't David nor Matt who carried me there, the tears rolled down.

Rachel looked back, we had heard the same voice...

"What's up Rach? Fight?"

It was Matt, wearing a lei, a bottle in his hand, and David was leaning on his shoulder, dragging himself.  
>Rachel answered them, nervous..."<p>

"Where the fuck were you, jerks? It's Anne, can't you see it? She's hurt! "

Matt dropped the bottle, but he couldn't let go of David, he could barely stand up, his shirt was wet, there was sand all over his pants... Rachel laid my head on her lap, Matt put David on the sand and bent next to me...

"What happened to you, sis?"

He could barely speak, I didn't want to answer, I just wanted to know who had saved me, I wanted to get out of there and never see David again.

Matt asked Rachel:

"WHAT HAPPENED?"

"I don't know Matt, I came back here to get more drinks and I didn't find you, I decided to look for you but I got lost among all the people, when I realized I was taking too long, I went back to get Anne to help me looking for you guys, and the guy was already carrying her…  
>David was standing beside Matt and asked...<p>

"What guy?"

Rachel stuttered:

"I don't know him!"

David yelled...

"What guy Rachel, show me him!"

the "guy" showed up behind him and answered...

"I'm the guy! Why?"

* * *

><p><em>Ok, things are starting to get tense! And don't forget to read the other fanfic too, to understand everything!<em>

_.net/s/7733962/1/Its_up_to_me_to_forget_


	41. Runaway

**Runaway**

He wasn't much taller than David, but was definitely sober, and they started yelling at each other, Matt got in the middle too, and people started gathering around them. I was feeling bad, and begged Rachel:

"Get me out of here, please!"

She helped me getting up, the CUT in my forehead was small, I guess it was superficial, there was just a little blood coming out of it, but she was insisting on taking me to the hospital.

"I just want to go back to the hotel and take a shower!"

When I was able to stand up, I saw the commotion that they had caused, there were so many people I had to make a effor to see them both in the middle of the fight. They were so ridiculous, immature and drunk.

Some people offered help, but I was ok, not exactly fine but I was anxious to get out of there, and the walk with Rachel to the hotel seemed to take hours.

I sat in the shower, while she watched TV in the room and talked how much she looked for them, and how guilty she was feeling for leaving me there.

I felt my head burning when the hot water fell, and the blood going down the drain made me feel as if all that amazing week was going the same way.  
>I felt so alone, so dissapointed, so confused, I didn't know how far that was his fault, I knew most of that wasn't, but I was so traumatized, and I felt that when I needed him the most, he wasn't by my side.<p>

I got into the room and asked Rachel to go after the boys. When she left, I packed, checked out, called a cab to the airport, and cried.

The trip was over. 

I got to the airport and searched all the airlines to find a flight home. Luckly, there was one in 3 hours, it was early morning so it wasn't full. I sat on a chair to wait, I was paying attention just in case David or Matt decided show up. But I was so exhausted I slept.

I woke up half hour before the departure and ran to the gate. I got to my seat, on the window, and while the plane was taking off, I looked out. It was unbelievable that the return trip was so different then the first one… I looked at the seats next to mine and remembered David and Matt on them, making jokes… the sound of their laughter was like a distant echo in my head… David ruined everything, again! He left me when I needed him the most, I screamed and he didn't hear me, he was too busy drinking… I didn't wanna think what would have happened if that guy hadn't shown up, and I didn't even know who he was…

What hurt the most was that David chose to fight with the guy who saved me rather than checking if I was okay, I was only half conscious right beside him and he didn't even care! Yeah, probably I should just give up... maybe these are signs showing me we really should be just friends... It's pointless to insist in a relationship where the bad moments overcome the good ones... But just the idea of not having David anymore... I could try to tell myself I was really angry with him, but I knew deep down, that was not what I was feeling. But I had to be mad at him, for what he had done to me today, I tried to focus on the anger while I was falling asleep watching the isle getting smaller, and there was not much left of our happy days. 

When I got to Tulsa it was already dark, and I went looking for a cab. I waited for 20 minutes and nothing, there's no empty cabs in this town! I called home, to ask mom or dad to come. No answering. I tried my dad's cell, they were at a party outside of town. Perfect. Now what, how do I get out of here? Wait! There was still an option... I called him. He was coming, thank god... Half hour later, I saw a familiar car parking in front of me, and I got in.

"Hey Anne!"

He seemed worried.

"Hi Andrew... Thanks for coming, I had no Idea how I'd get out of here..."

"Don't worry, it's no big deal... but what happened, why only you came? What did my brother do this time? He wasn't arrested again, right?"

Ok, I laughed.

"No, Andrew, it wasn't that... It's just..."

I couldn't tell him the truth, specially because Andrew didn't know what was going on between David and me.

"It's just that some things happened and I decided to come back earlier..."

He didn't insist and I was mentally grateful. Andrew had enough sensibility to realize I was not doing well and did not want to talk about that, and he changed the subject, he talked about unimportant things all the way home to keep me distracted. I tried to pay attention about what he was saying to keep my mind away from David.

When we got home, there was nobody there, he helped me with my luggage and I followed him to the door.

"Drew, thanks a lot for picking me up, if it wasn't for you, I'd still be there…"

"Don't worry Anne, it's no big deal, of course I wouldn't leave you there!"

"But thanks anyway... Good Night, Drew..."

He kissed my cheek.

"Sleep well."

He walked away, but stopped.

"Anne, do you wanna go to the bar? It's been a while since we last went there... just for you to get some distracted, you don't have to tell me anything… but you look awful…"

I was gonna say no, but I gave it a second thought and said yes, after all, he was right, it had been a while since we last went out and I did need a distraction, I was getting ready to cry over him all night long...

We went to the usual bar, the one David used to work. Andrew got us 2 margaritas. My eyes filled with tears, I remembered the day I came to this bar with Dave to celebrate his approval in the audition, and he ordered 2 margaritas…  
>Andrew was worried, but I couldn't tell anything... in fact, I almost got everything out of my chest…<p>

"Everything is wrong, Drew... There's something wrong with me, it's not possible, everything always goes wrong!"

I started crying and finished my margarita. Actually I finished a lot of them, one right after the other, and Andrew was following me. When I realized, I was laughing out loud with his jokes.

When we left, I was waisted, and so was he. The way back seemed shorter, I don't even know how he drove without hitting anything, I didn't even know where I was, everything was spinning, I was feeling so dizzy, I can't even remember what we talked, we were laughing out loud… I only realized where we were when we stopped in front of his house. I looked at him.

"Well, I guess I'm going home and take a shower, try to go back to normal... I mean, if I can find the way..."

He laughed.

"Yeah, it's far away... watch out! I'll call you tomorrow to see if you got there safely... you want me to follow you there?"

"No, I can do it... I guess."

"Ok, then... Thanks for today, good night, sleep well... "

He kissed me on the cheek and then on the lips.

* * *

><p><em>Make your bets now!<em>


	42. The Worst Mistake

**The worst mistake**

We stared at each other in shock. But actually, I was not really in shock, a small parto f me was expecting that… Now that I was paying attention, I could see he was… grown. I always saw Andrew as David's younger brother, but there I remembered we were the same age… I hadn't noticed he looked a lot like David now, specially with a stubble beard… I had never looked at him that way.

I didn't think, I didn't know what I was doing, I grabbed his face and fully kissed him. He took me inside and we went to his room. We passed by David's room, but I didn't look. We got into the room, he closed the door, pushed me against it, put his hand on my waist and started kissing my neck. I couldn't think, his scent was familiar, very familiar... he ran his hands up my back and lifted my shirt… He also kissed my neck, he was driving me crazy just like his brother...

Sometimes my mind tried to tell me that was wrong, I tried to stop, pushing him away, but his beard rubbing against my neck wouldn't let me... I knew I'd regret this soon (but I didn't want, or couldn't remember why...) and even so I couldn't push him away... I was still completely wasted, didn't even know if I'd remember this the next day... and next day seemed so far away, so unreal… I didn't have to worry about it, I stopped thinking, stopped trying to resist and surrendered to Andrew's kisses...

I took his shirt off and couldn't help noticing his body had channged too... Now it was my turn, I started biting his ear lobe, got down through his neck to his shoulder… He tried to kiss me, but I wouldn't let him, I was teasing him... in reply, he opened my shirt and started kissing my neck, going down to my breast… he picked me up, pushed me against the door holding my thighs, I put my legs around him, held his face and kissed him… he took me towards the bed, on the way we accidentally bumped against the stereo, and a song started playing… .com/watch?v=w2y-d8-gs5M I tried not to think that was a sign, the only reason that would keep me from doing that insanity was miles away and I refused to think about him…

He sat me on the bed and finished taking my shirt off, he laid me down and knelt on top of me, kissing, biting my whole body… He was going slow, I tried to pull his head to kiss him, but he wouldn't let me... he was torturing me, and apparently that amused him, I wonder where did he learn that… he gave me a dirty smile, similar to another one I knew very well, and tried my best to keep away from my mind… he turned me and undid my bra, took it off and threw away. I unzipped his jeans and stared at him.

"You're gonna make me wait much longer?"

He gave me a dirtier look...

"In a hurry, huh?"

I didn't say anything, but gave him the same look… he took my pants off and threw it on the floor, and I did the same thing. He ducked, took my panties off and I felt a different beard on my groin, that made me grab the sheet… he was going up my body slowly, I couldn't wait anymore, when he got to my neck I finally felt him inside me. I scratched his back, felt his sweat on me, he moaned on my ear and drove me even more crazy…

I pushed him aside and got on top of him. I ran my hands through his body, started kissing his chest, went up to his neck, chin and finally the mouth. Sometimes I stopped to stare at him, he looked at me with desire and pulled me back. My body was in shock. When it was over, I lay down next to him, exhausted, I didn't have strength anymore, the last thing I felt was Andrew pulling me closer to him…

...

I woke up with a noise, I guess someone was screaming, I didn't know what was going on, I had a terrible headache, I couldn't open my eyes, the shouting didn't stop, yet I couldn't understand it, I thought my head was gonna explode… I opened my eyes a little bit and saw Andrew waking up next to me, as dizzy as me... and I couldn't imagine what he might be doing there, in fact, I didn't even know where I was, I couldn't think… I looked at the person who was yelling, to see who was.

David.

* * *

><p><em>And now, what?<em>


	43. Regret

**Regret**

It was like everything was in slow motion. When I saw the look on David's face, I completely woke up. I still couldn't remember very well what had happened, but I guess the scene was self-explanatory. I realized what David was about to do a second before he do it.

"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU, ANDREW!"

I only had time to put the sheet around me and jump on him, to keep him from hitting Andrew, who had fallen out of the bed because of David's reaction. I tried to restrain David, and until that moment he hadn't noticed I was holding him, apparently. He looked at me and took my hands off him, with a disgusted look on his face.

"Don't touch me... DON'T LOOK AT ME!"

I was paralyzed, I couldn't have any reaction... he was staring at me as if he was hallucinating.

"You know what... It's not even worth it."

There was not even anger in his look... there was contempt.

"I cannot believe you did this to me."

And he left the room.

I was petrified, staring at the door he had just slammed. The previous night was now returning to my mind... I looked at Andrew, who was already standing on the side of the bed looking scared.

"What the hell was that?"

I couldn't explain... I started picking up my clothes.

"Andrew, we couldn't have done this, it was a mistake!"

"But..."

I quickly got dressed and realized I was crying.

"Sorry Andrew, I can't explain... just forget what happened, we shouldn't have done this! I'm gonna go home, we talk later."

I ran out of the room, and left him standing there, clueless about what had happened. I looked for David in his room, in the living room, the backyard, but he was nowhere. The front door was opened, but he wasn't on the street either. I went home and ran to my room, and locked the door.

I sat on the bed and broke down. At this point I remembered almost everything, even the reason that make me do that absurd. How could I do that to David? He was right about not wanting me to touch him, to loath me, I was the worst person in the world… I couldn't believe I had done that, how could I, how was I capable of hurting David like that? If I were him, I'd be hating myself to death too…

A lot of bad things had already happened between us, and surprinsigly we got over everything, but I knew that was too much… I couldn't even imagine him forgiving me, he also had done a lot of mistakes before, but nothing that could compare to that... He didn't deserve that... And he shouldn't look at me anymore, or talk to me… I deserved that...

Someone knocked on the door.

"Anne? Are you there? Is everything okay?"

I took a deep breath and tried to hide my crying voice…

"Yeah! Don't worry Matt, everything is fine!"

"Just to let you know we are home already! Where have you been? You didn't sleep here?"

"No, I..."

I thought fast.

"I stayed at Lara's! She picked me up at the airport yesterday!"

I was so stupid, why didn't I call Lara yesterday?

"Ok, then... but we have to talk, you just left, it was like you were running away!"

"We talk later, Matt!"

"okay..."

I waited until I hear Matt closing the door and went to the bathroom. I got into the shower and started rubbing myself with soap, trying to get Andrew's scent out of me, but I knew the harder I tried, I wouldn't be able to erase what had happened… I sat on the floor and let the water fall on my head. I felt tears rolling down, I was feeling angry, disgusted with myself…

I wished he had yelled at me, told me I was the most disgusting person in the world and everything, even hit me, rather than give me that contempt look. I hadn't heard what David had yelled when he got into the room, but I guess it wasn't compliments... But I deserved every word he must have used... that's how I was feeling, as someone repugnant. I considered drowning in the shower, but I didn't even have the guts for that...

After about 20 minutes, I felt I had stopped crying, I turned the shower off, wrapped the towel around me and went to my room. I didn't even changed, didn't took off the towel, didn't dry my hair, I lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Maybe I could catch a pneumonia? Matt entered the room.

"An, mom is asking if you're gonna eat, why are you lying on the bed all wet? Mom is gonna kill you!"

"Not now Matt... I'm not hungry, I'm gonna get some sleep…"

The wet sheet was the last of my concerns… I started thinking, it had been a while since I ate for the last time, but I was no hungry at all… Matt was worried.

"An, you want me to bring you something to eat here?"

"No Matt, I don't eant anything…"

He saw I wanted to be alone and didn't want to talk.

"Ok then, if you need anything just call me…"

He left and I stared at the ceiling again. I have no idea how long I was there. It was like I was watching a movie, with all the moments I had lived with David… It seemed like another life... I tried not to think of the moment I'd face him again… I don't know if I slept, but when I realized it ws already evening and my hair was almost dry. I got up, put a pajamas and went downstairs. I looked for something to eat, got some cookies and had to force them inside, it was like my throat was closed. I sat on the couch to watch some TV, and soon Matt joined me. He put a scary movie on the DVD, sat beside me and put his arm around my shoulders, and I laid on his shoulder. Soon I felt the tears wetting his shirt, but he didn't ask anything. I don't know when I fell asleep, but when I woke up it was already morning and I was on my bed, covered with a blanket.

I tried to remember why I was feeling so bad, and the memories came rushing back... any chance that was a nightmare? No, I'd be too lucky... I didn't even deserve to be on my own bed, Matt should have let me sleep on the cold floor... On my nightstand, there were some cookies and a carton of chocolate milk... Matt's idea, for sure... I ate half of it. I put a sweater on, went to the bathroom to wash up my face and went downstairs to take the plate and the carton to the kitchen.

When I passed by the living room, I saw David's backpack on the couch. He must be in Matt's room. I wonder if he had already told him what I did... was Matt hating me too? It was too much for me to handle… I went back to my room and turned on the stereo to try not to think. After a while, I heard the volume of Matt's stereo increasing, he had opened the door. I thought fast, it was better to get that over with. I got out of my room and stopped in front of David, Matt was still inside of the room. He looked at me as if I was a cockroach. I tried to speak, a whisper came out and I couldn't face him.

"D-dave... could we talk a little bit?"

He wasn't looking at me either.

"I have nothing..."

"PLEASE, David? Just a little bit..."

My eyes filled with tears... He didn't move.

"No Anne, I told you I..."

But he stopped. We heard Matt's door opening. He grabbde my arm, took me inside my room and closed the door.


	44. In Pieces

**In pieces**

On the radio was playing .com/watch?v=OThfgmZASes . I looked at him, his arms were crossed, he was giving me the same contempt look.

"I have nothing to talk to you Anne, I guess I saw enough."

I couldn't read his expression, actually, he had no expression, but I had to try somehow...

"But Dave, I have to explain that...

Without looking at me, he interrupted me, there was anger in his voice.

"You don't have to explain anything, Anne! Actually, there's nothing to explain…"

I thought a lot about what to say, but the words didn't come out…

"But D..."

He finally looked at me, and I wished never to see that look on his face again.

"Look, Anne. I have only one question for you. I just want to understand WHY. Why did you do this to me? I'm not enough for you, not good enough, come on Anne, why?"

It was not the first time I'd say that, but there was not other justification.

"I was drunk Dave, I didn't know what I was doing..."

I was gonna say more, but he got irritated and raised his voice.

"YES, YOU DID! Don't give me this lame excuse, you knew very well what you were doing… It's always the same excuse Anne, that was your excuse to do a lot of stupid things when Matthew was in the hospital, same thing with our first time that you preferred to call a "drunking mistake", it's always the same fucking excuse! You know what's funny? You can always blame the alcohol for your mistakes and I can't… you just left me in Hawaii, without a chance to justify myself because of my mistake, and now I have to happily accept your pathetic excuse? Nobody forced you to do anything, I'm pretty sure Andrew didn't force you to do anything you didn't want to! You did this because you WANTED TO. You know... I really thought you liked me... really, I believed you when you said you loved me!"

I was getting desperate, everything he said made sense, and now he had doubts about my feelings for him...

"But it is true, it have always been, I LOVE YOU, David!"

I had never said that with so much confidence, but at the same time, so much pain, there was no point, he wouldn't believe me…  
>My heart was beating faster, he yelled even louder, he scared me...<p>

"NO YOU DO NOT!"

He walked around the room, and stopped in front of me, speaking loud, his voice was trembling, he pointed his finger at me...

"Don't say it again, because it's a lie, that's not love! If you loved me, you'd NEVER had sex with my brother! This is anything, but love! Actually, are you sure you know what love is? Because I was when I told you this, I tried to prove you through my acts and not only words… What was it, only one brother was not enough? You had to have both? I bet if Matthew wasn't your brother, you'd have sex with him too!"

What? That was too much. I know he was nervous, but he had no right to offend me...

"David, you are insulting me..."

He wouldn't listen to me, it was like I was talking by myself...

"I am insulting you?"

There was anger in his laughter… he continued.

"Anne, you humiliated me! Do you have any idea how I felt when I saw YOU on the bed with my brother?"

I didn't have and didn't want to...

"You know, I thought I knew you, but I can see I don't... I look at you know and I see a stranger... You are a completely stranger for me, Anne! You know, in my life I met a lot of women, but for some reason I always believed you were different… unfortunately, you proved me you are just like everybody else… you know what? Now I can see it was not that permanent."

His words made my stomach churn, my body was hurting, I couldn't even cry, there was a lump in my throat, I wanted to show him he was altered, and we could talk without that much insults...

"That's too much already, David!"

He was in disbelief with what I said...

"Too much? Ok, picture this then, Anne: what if you had a sister and I slept with her? How would YOU feel?"

Awful. I'd feel awful. But the truth is, even for a second I could picture him doing this kind of thing with me, and I had done it to him, I couldn't answer…

"..."

"See? Anne, I was not 100% honest with you, I made a lot of mistakes and I knew that. You had to forgive me a lot of times too. I could forgive anything coming from you, I could try to understand anything, but not this… that was too much for me…"

I thought about anything that could save that conversation...

"Dave..."

He definitely didn't want to listen to me...

"Look, Anne. I could try to understand if you had sex with ANY other guy. We are not together for real, I don't have the right to demand anything from you… Even if it was Kyle I could make an effort to understand, but not Andrew! You chose the only guy you could NEVER have anything with!"

He didn't have to repeat that, I knew the size of my mistake... everything I wanted at that moment was turn back time...

"I'm sorry Dave, I'm so sorry, I really am..."

He was angry again, he raised his voice, the veins in his neck were popped out, he was red, and this time facing me…

"Sorry? You think it's so easy, right Anne? You think you can do anything you want and apologize later, saying you're sorry and everything is gonna be alright! But I bet you were not sorry at all when you were under MY FUCKING BROTHER!"

He was yelling louder, it was echoing in my head...

"I know I did a LOT of bad things. We broke up a lot of times because of me, but I was thinking about you THE WHOLE TIME! You made me feel the worst person in the world when you left Hawaii, during the entire flight back I was thinking about what to do to make things up with you, make you realize I never wanted to hurt you, and when I get here what do I see? That was the way you found to punish me for my mistakes? Throwing in my face that if things didn't work out between us, you could fall in his arms and he would want you too? You never valued me, now I can see I was only another one in your list, I repeat, I always thought you were different, but you're like everyone else!"

I bursted into tears, I ran towards him trying to calm him down, in a desperate gesture I tried to hug him…

"That's not true, Dave..."

But he pushed me away, turned around and got my guitar from the bed...

"You see this?"

He lifted it, his eyes were filled with anger, he came towards me, I tripped and fell on the bed, I cowered crying, scared, he was still yelling…

"This is the proof that I always thought about you, even when you were engaged to Kyle! And know I now you don't deserve 1 minute of my thoughts, you don't deserve this, YOU NEVER DID!"

My heart stopped for a second, between the silence and the fear of what he was about to do, and then came the thunderous sound...

I opened my eyes and saw him smashing it against the wall. Destroying it, piece by piece, just like I had done with our friendship.

I got up and yelled, trying to stop him...

"DAVID!"

I was in shock, looking at him with the pieces of the guitar in his hands, I guess he realized what he had done, he was breathing fast, dropped the pieces, got away from the bed, towards the door...

"I can't Anne, I can't even look at you right now... You know... I'm angry with myself, for caring so much about you."

I was hopeless, the only way to fix that was turning back time...

"Don't say that, Dave..."

In other words, impossible... he put his hand on the door knob...

"It's pointless, Anne, you did this..."

I just wanted to know one thing, it didn't matter when, but I had to ask...

"Can you forgive me someday?"

His answer couldn't be worst...

"It's over, Anne... you took care of this… I'll never forgive you."

* * *

><p><em>Guys, I hope you are enjoying the story! What do you think it's gonna happen now? I know the fic is a little long, and there's quite a few things to happen yet, but I'm sure you'll like it! and don't forget to read the other fic, to know David's point of view about all of this!<em>

_.net/s/7733962/1/Its_up_to_me_to_forget_


	45. Confession

**Confession**

David slammed the door. I was in shock, I couldn't move. I slowly walked back, sat on the floor beside the bed and held my legs to my chest. I couldn't even cry. I heard Matt's voice from the hall talking to David, and he gave a quick answer, but I didn't understand. Actually, I didn't even try to. That was a nightmare, an endless nightmare... I looked at the destroyed guitar, and then looked away… Definitely a nightmare. I saw the door opening again, for a crazy second I thought it might be David trying to talk in peace, trying to understand, but before seeing Matt, I already knew it couldn't be him. He looked around the room searching for me and saw me beside the bed, came towards me and sat in front of me.

"Anne, what's going on? I thought you were feeling bad about what happened in Hawaii, Rachel told me you almost… that those guys… anyway, I thought you were feeling bad because of that, and I didn't say anything because I assumed you didn't wanna talk about it… but then, David is acting all weird today and now he left your room furious… what happened, did you guys have a fight?"

He stared at me, my eyes might be red and puffy.

"Yeah, judging by the look on your face, you don't have to answer…"

He waited. I considered not saying anything, that it was nothing, he didn't have to worry…

"Yeah, we kind of had an argument, but it was no big deal..."

"What do you mean, no big deal? What happened to your guitar, Anne?"

I made a real effort not to cry. I didn't look at the guitar.

"Yeah, I accidentaly dropped it, and it broke..."

He was suspicious.

"You must have dropped it really hard..."

I looked at him, by the look on his face I felt he was really worried about me. I gave it a second thought... Matt was one of the only people I could trust, even though he had made a lot of mistakes in the past… and if I didn't get that out of my chest, I'd explode… I had hidden so many things from him, I wanted to have my brother as a friend again… he was the ideal person to hear me… I looked at him. On the radio, now... .com/watch?v=LyH47RlchSw

"Matt... talk to me?"

I must be really looking miserable, he was even more worried. He held my hand.

"Of course, An..."

"Promise me something first? That you won't be too mad at me?"

He was scared.

"Of course... I guess whatever you have done wasn't worst than what I did... you can tell me, if you want to…"

I took a deep breath.

"Matt, I did a terrible thing... I threw away the best thing that ever happened to me…"

He got closer to me.

"Gee An, was it so terrible?"

"Yeah... I'm a terrible person, I'm never gonna forgive myself…"

"What did you do, Anne?"

I couldn't speak and he waited. After about 2 minutes, I finally spoke.

"I... had sex with another guy..."

He was surprised.

"Uh... Yeah, that was not cool, but who is David to judge, he is no saint either! Like he hadn't made any mistakes, just look at Kim!"

I was speaking slowly...

"Yeah... but that's not the worst part…"

He widened his eyes.

"You're not... pregnant, are you?"

"No Matt, of course not... it's something else… It's that… I… didn't have sex with "any" guy…"

I couldn't stare at him.

"What do you mean? Who was it? Kyle?"

"No, it wasn't Kyle... It was... worst."

"Worst than KYLE? Could it be worst than him?"

"Oh yeah... I don't know how this happened Matt... I didn't know what I was doing, he looks so much like David…"

He was confused.

"What are you talking about Anne, who looks so m…"

He stopped in the middle of the sentence and looked at me with a scared look on his face.

"My God... My God, Anne! Tell me it isn't what I think it is! Please, tell me you DID NOT sleep with… Andrew."

I didn't answer, just hid my face in my hands.

"Anne I can't believe you had sex with Andrew, what happened, when, what the fuck were you thinking?"

My eyes were getting wet... I looked up...

"I wasn't thinking Matt... It was when I came home from Hawaii, he picked me up at the airport because mom and dad were out… and then we went out for some drinks, I was feeling miserable about what had happened… and we came home and it happened! I was out of my mind… I'm an idiot Matt, I'm worth nothing!"

"And how did David know about this? Andrew told him?"

"No... I slept over, on his bed, and Dave arrived in the morning, got into the room and saw us…"

"So I guess you didn't spend the night at Lara's then..."

I didn't answer.

"Gee... so you can't even come up with na excuse... How come he didn't murder you both?"

I couldn't say anything. He looked away and I followed his gaze. He was looking at the broken guitar and then, back to me. His expression had changed.

"It was him, wasn't it? David broke the guitar!"

I looked down and couldn't hold my tears anymore. I didn't answer.

"I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS!"

I looked at him. There was anger in his eyes.

"Anne, please tell me he didn't do anything to you! Tell me now, if he touched you I'm gonna go there now and…"

He was already getting up, I grabbed his arm.

"NO MATTHEW! Sit down! He didn't touched me, he'd never do that, you know it…"

He sat down and took a deep breath. I had never seen Matt like that. After a while, he calmed down and continued.

"But what about Andrew? Why would he do that to his own brother?"

"Andrew didn't know anything about David and me... It's not his fault... But even so, I guess David is mad at him too..."

"And is Andrew mad at you?"

"I don't know... I didn't talk to him yet… I hope not…"

"But you're not... you know..."

I knew what he was about to ask.

"No Matt, it's not like that, I don't want anything with Andrew, I don't feel anything for him, it was just a stupid mistake... the worst mistake of my life..."

He held my hand between his. Tears kept rolling down.

"How could I do this to him, Matt? What was I thinking? How could I be so cruel, he didn't deserve this... It's over, Matt..."

"But there's no chance he'd get over this?"

His words came back to my mind...

"He said he'll never forgive me... and I know he's not changing his mind… and if you wanna know, Matt… I don't even know if I want his forgiveness… I don't deserve it, I don't deserve David!"

"I still can't believe you did this, Anne..."

I gave him a pleading look. Not Matt too...

"Please Matt, I know David is your best friend, but don't judge me, don't turn against me too, please...

He got even closer to me and held my face between his hands.

"Anne! Who am I to judge you, look at all the mistakes I made, I'm the last person who can judge anyone! There's no saints here. You trusted me to tell this... He may be my friend, but you are my sister. I love you, you know that, and I'm with you, ALWAYS."

He held me tight and I broke down. I was right in telling him, I needed this shoulder, despite everything that was happening, I was relieved… Matthew was a child, totally inconvenient sometimes, and had done a lot of stupid things, but this day, I realized… despite of everything, I could count on him… Always.

* * *

><p><em>I've gotta say, I really really love this chapter, it's one of my favorites... and after writing that, Matt has become my favorite character of the story, I really love him! <em>

_Oh, and this chapter is special for another reason too, it's the last one I post from Ireland, tomorrow I'm going back to Sao Paulo and I absolutely can't wait!_


	46. Alliance

**Alliance**

I don't even know how I went through the rest of the day. Matt threw my guitar away, I was making a real effort not to think about what David had told me… but sometimes it was impossible. Matt was always trying to make me eat, but just the smell of food make me nauseated… I didn't see night coming, I only realized it when I put my pajamas on and Matt came to kiss me goodnight. I couldn't sleep, David's voice, the sound of the guitar being smashed were echoing in the room. And tears kept coming... After what seemed about 2 hours of unsuccessful attempts to sleep, I gave up. I got up and went to Matt's room. I remembered what David had shouted at my face, what I'd do if Matt wasn't my brother. I put away that though, that was sick. I knocked the door and got in. The dim light was coming in through the window, I saw his outline raising his head and the rusky voice…

"Anne?"

"Matt... can I sleep here with you?"

I immediately remembered those days when I was little and had a nightmare, or when there was a thuderstorm and I was scared, I came running to Matt's room and asked that same question... I guess he remembered it too. He lifted his blanket.

"Of course, little sis..."

I lay down next to him and he covered me with the blanket. He caressed my hair until I fall asleep. And I finally did. 

Next day, I went for a walk, I had to get some air, and when I passed by David's house, I saw Andrew in the car, listening to music. I decided I couldn't postpone that anymore, I went there.

"Hi Andrew."

His voice was sharp. He didn't look at me.

Hi Anne.

"Are you… okay?"

He smirked, but still didn't look at me.

"Everything is great… My brother doesn't even look at me, but apart from that, everything is just great.

"Andrew..."

I didn't even have strength to say anything. He didn't let me continue.

"Why didn't you tell me, Anne? I had no idea there was something between you and David, if I did, I'd never do this to him!"

"I couldn't tell you, Andrew..."

"Fine, but at least you could have stopped what we were doing! You knew it was wrong, but I didn't! Now David is not talking to me!"

I tried to start a speech about how miserable I was feeling, that I didn't do it on purpose, but first, I didn't wanna be the "poor girl", which I was definitely not, and second, I knew I wouldn't be able to start everything again.

"Drew, you can be mad at me, I was going to apologize millions of times, but I can't apologize anymore, in fact, I can't do anything anymore... If you want to forgive me, I'll aprecciate it, one less Cook hating me... but if you can't... if you can't, I don't know what to think anymore Andrew..."

I didn't even know what I was talking about anymore, I was out of my mind, I was like another person using my body to talk, I wanted to go back to my bed...

I guess he realized I was miserable.

"Dave must have given you a hard time, huh?"

"I deserved much more, actually..."

He should have smashed the guitar on my head, I thought.

"Fine, Anne... I guess you're feeling bad enough, you don't need another person angry with you… we're okay."

I smiled a little bit.

"Thanks, Andrew."

I felt relieved, I don't know if I could take another fight.

I went back to my room and stared at the ceiling again. I considered going after David, telling him he was wrong when he said all those terrible things to me, that he was too altered… but then, his words came back to my mind, and I realized I deserved each one of them… only now I could see how unfair I was, how selfish I was… He was right, when he was thinking about me, I was also thinking about me… I never tried to understand his side, I never thought he could be suffering, actually just now I could see that I never really thought about how HE might be feelling… All I knew was to say that I expected more from him, that everything HE did was wrong, and actually it was the opposite… How could I be like that, what did I turn into?

In what moment I became this monster, why the only thing I knew how to do was hurting the person I loved the most, what kind of person did I become? More than ever, I felt I didn't deserve him, he was too good for me, I couldn't even understand why he had waisted so much time with me... now everything was rushing back, he went to Brazil after me, just to prove his innocence and not to leave me with a bad impression of him, and I didn't even want to hear what he had to say… I judged him for what I saw, he went all the way there just for me and I didn't give him a chance to explain… Actually, all I knew how to do was to judge him all the time…

I didn't want to think anymore, tears were Rolling down, I was feeling more and more angry, more disgusted with myself, I didn't recognize myself anymore, I turned into a horrible person... I knew it was too late to change for him to forgive me, I knew I didn't deserve him, but I tried to convince myself that it was not too late it was not too late to change myself, so more people wouldn't suffer because of my selfishness, to try to be a better person... I confess I was relieved for realizing all of this, for not thinking I was the center of the universe anymore, that I was not right all the time… Unfortunately, I realized it too late, I had to lose David… 


	47. Blackout

**Blackout**

A few days passed, and I didn't feel better because what I had "found out"... I felt worst and worst, I couldn't help feeling horrible, empty... There was a part of me missing, I missed David so, so much... before, when we were separated, I missed him too but at least I knew it was not something permanent, and he didn't hate me… but now, knowing that I had lost him forever, that I'd never touch him again, feel his scent… it physically hurt.

I still couldn't sleep very well, I always had nightmares and woke up every night looking for David beside me. At least he didn't sleep in Matt's room anymore, that would be too much for me. I didn't see him anymore, I hardly ever left home, and when I did I avoided passing in front of his house. I almost never turned on the TV either, I didn't want to take the risk of seeing him. I was getting worst and worst, I hardly ever ate, not because I didn't want to, I couldn't... Matt tried anything, but my throat was closed. One day, I went to the kitchen and tried to eat a pizza I had found in the fridge, but it was not a good idea.

I started to get nausea, and feeling what was about to come I ran to the bathroom. I leaned on the toilet and threw everything up. When I finished, I sat on the floor and started crying. What was happening to me? Matt came to see what was going on and saw me on the floor. He ran, got a wet towel, sat beside me and started passing it over my face.

"Are you okay, Anne?"

I took some deep breaths.

"I guess I am now…"

He lifted me up and helped me get to my room, and I lay down on my bed. He was mad and started walking around the room.

"Enough of this, Anne! I cannot see you like this anymore, this is killing you, it's killing me! I'm gonna talk to David, he has to know what's going on, this can't continue, Anne!"

"No Matt! Don't do that, plase!"

This was the last thing he could do.

"Why not, Anne? This has to stop!"

"Matt, listen to me. I don't want David to think I'm doing this to get his attention, to make him feel sorry for me, because I'm not!"

I really wasn't, and this time it was for real. I went on.

"I don't wanna play the "poor girl", I don't want him to feel he has to forgive me just to prevent me from doing something silly and have a guilty conscience later... You ARE NOT going to tell David anything, you hear me Matthew? I forbid you! He can't know about this!"

"Fine, if that's what you want, I won't tell David anything..."

"Thank you Matt…"

I decided to start trying to make things right.

"Matt... there's something you can do to help me..."

"What is it Anne? Anything!"

"Tell David not to be mad at Andrew... It wasn't his fault, he didn't know anything and David knows that… it's not fair to him…"

He smiled.

"Okay, I'm gonna tell him, don't worry."

I noticed I was getting thinner, I avoided looking at the mirror. I threw up a few times more, but I tried my best to hide it from Matt. I started having headaches too, Matt was insisting on taking me to the doctor, but I wouldn't let him. I was getting worst and worst, but I didn't have any strength to try to get better. And I still had to hide it from my parents, I told them I was on a diet… I guess I was unconsciously trying to punish myself for what I had done to David… I didn't wanna do anything anymore, I didn't wanna talk to anyone but Matt... I barely got out, and everytime Matt was home, he was by my side. And when he wasn't, he called me every 10 minutes.

I realized that I had been a child, I never took anything seriously… David was right, I never valued what we had, I thought I could do anything that everything would be okay later… or at least, we'd still be friends no matter what… was there any way I could feel worst? I found out there was.

Matt was not at home, I was taking a nap on the couch because I hadn't slept well at night, and I woke up with the phone ringing.

"Anne? It's Rachel!"

I was kinda dizzy, it took me a while to remember who Rachel was, and then I remembered Matt was still dating the girl from Chicago... Yeah, she was cool... I tried hard to be nice.

"Hi, Rach! How are you? Matt's not here... you want me to ask him to call you?"

"Fine, can you do this for me, please? And how are you, Anne? I'm worried about you, Matt told me you're not doing very well… he gave up on coming over here…"

Wow, I'm up.

"Is this serious, Rach?"

"Yeah... well... he didn't tell you?"

When I hang up, I was perplexed.

Matt got home shortly after that, and I was already saying…

"Matthew, can you please tell me why didn't you go see Rachel?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

He was scared.

"I know you didn't go to Chicago to see her, she called and told me! How come you didn't go, Matt?"

He looked at me as if I had missed something obvious.

"Of course I didn't go, Anne! What are you thinking? You REALLY think I'd go all the way to Illinois to see Rachel and leave you here like this? Are you crazy?"

"But Matt, you could not do this! Gee, you like her, I know how hard long distance relationships are, and when you have a chance to go, you don't take it?"

"Anne... put something in your head. You ALWAYS come first, you should know this by now! Rachel can wait... I'm only going to Chicago when I'm sure you're okay, and if you want to, you can come with me… and don't bother whining, nothing that you may say will change my mind."

I was feeling awful. I didn't deserve all this consideration Matt was having... and besides, I was trying my best to change, and that included not being the center of the universe anymore, and Matt was not helping…

"You're a jerk, you knew that Matthew?"

He laughed, held me and gave me a kiss on the top of my head.

I even tried to get better, so Matt could go to Chicago, but it didn't work. I would pass out any moment now... I missed David so much, it had been a while since I had last seen him, I missed him so much… I really hope he was okay...

One day, Rachel showed up out of nowhere, to surprise Matt. I was happy, at least he'd be more excited, he was kinda down because of me… and Rachel was a sweetheart, and she was worried about me too, she tried everything to cheer me up, I could even laugh with her… I just couldn't spend the night at Matt's room anymore, but it was for a good cause…

I don't even know how it happened. My head was hurting more than ever that day, I decided to go downstairs to get some medicine. I had to hold onto the handrail, so I wouldn't fall. When I got to the bottom, I saw Matt coming towards me. But I couldn't see him properly, he was kinda blurry… I tried to say something, but I guess my voice didn't come out…

"Matt..."

My knees failed.

"ANNE!"

And then, I didn't see anything.


	48. Confrontation

**Confrontation**

My head was hurting so much… I was lying down, I had no idea why, or where, and my eyes were still closed. I heard a voice, far away…

"No, I brought her to sleep in the car."

And then, another voice made me open my eyes.

'You're gonna defend Anne now?'

I looked around, I was in the back seat of Matt's car, the door was opened. On the side of the car was Matt, with his back turned at me, arguing with David. It took a while, but I tried to focus my mind on what they were saying. Matt was talking.

"…so fast, I see my sister like that and I can't help thinking you have something to do with that! Look, I'm not mad at you. Really, I'm not... And I'm not against you either, there's no point. You've always been my best friend, almost like a brother, and I really hope things can go back to normal when all this pass… but Anne IS my sister, David… I don't care what she did, I don't care if she's right or wrong... I'm always gonna be on HER side."

"Okay, I understand your side Matt, I swear I'm not mad at you for being on her side... but why do you have to be so rude?"

"I'm sorry David, but I expected more when I told you what was going on with Anne... I know you were angry with her, but I never imagined you'd think we had the guts to make this up... I thought you at least would be worried about her!"

WHAT? Matt did what?

"Okay, I screwed up, but how would I know it was true, there have been so many lies already!"

Okay, I had heard enough. I got out of the car, I was a little dizzy but I hung on, and faced Matt. He gave me a scared look, David talked first.

"Anne, are you okay?"

I didn't look at him.

"Matthew, you told him? Why did you do this? I made you promise you wouldn't tell David anything!"

Just saying his name was painful.

"I'm sorry Anne, I just couldn't see you like this and not do anything! But there was no point, he didn't believe me anyway!"

"You shouldn't have done that, Matt!"

I took a deep breath. There I was, being rude again. But Matt was gonna have to wait a little bir. I have to solve that first. And it wasn't gonna be easy.

"Matt... can you leave me alone with David for a minute?"

"But Anne..."

"Please Matt, it's gonna be fast… I'm gonna be okay, I promise."

He went back inside with his head low. I turned around and faced David for the frst time. It was like there was a hand squeezing my heart.

"Dave... why are you here?"

"I saw Matt carrying you and I came to see what was going on..."

"You shouldn't have come, David!"

He looked scared. I lowered my head. I felt I was being unfair again... I chose the words, so I wouldn't say anything that could hurt him…

"Look, David... you don't have to worry about me... I don't WANT you to worry about me!"

I avoided saying "I don't deserve", it was too dramatic and I didn't want that. But it was true, I didn't deserve David to worry about me, not even a little bit...

He stepped forward.

"But I do... damn it! As much as I don't want it, I can't help it, you have always been my best friend, almost like a… sister, even though now we… well, how do you expect me to see you like this and don't be worried?"

I was about to say that HE had chosen that, that I was suffering because of him and he didn't have to bother, but I realized how unfair I'd be, for a change... I'd be acting as a victim, as usual, blaming him, when I was the one to blame... I felt I was about to cry. But I made a huge effort to hang on.

"You shouldn't Dave... You're making it worst... I'm trying to forget everything that happened, forget about you, and it's already so hard, but seeing you, knowing that you care, the least, about me, it's impossible! I need to be away from you for this to work… at least, make things easier for me, David… I'm gonna be fine, I promise you. Everything is gonna be okay."

Okay, I had already spent too much time with him, I couldn't take it anymore, I felt I'd break down at any moment... I walked home as fast as I could. When I got in, I saw Matt standing by the door, and he looked embarrased. Time to fix that too. If there was a person who didn't deserve my injustices, it was him.

"Matt..."

"Anne, I'm sorry... It wasn't on purpose..."

"You don't have to apologize, I do... I know you didn't do it on purpose, you were only trying to protect me... I'd have done the same thing. Thank you."

"I just couldn't see you suffering anymore, and David being unaware of that!"

I smiled at him.

"Matt... compared to what I did to him, what I'm going through is nothing... I made him suffer so much more..."

He didn't answer because he knew I was right.

"Anne, I'm gonna take you to the hospital, you're not okay..."

"You don't need to Matt, I'm fine, my blood pressure dropped, I don't wanna go to the hospital, I just want to go to my room..."

I ran upstairs, I didn't know how long I could take...

I sat by the window and started crying. Seeing David was too much for me, I couldn't help thinking about the harm I did to him… I missed him so much... and why did he care about me? He couldn't! After everything I had done to him, he should hate me, he had to hate me! I David was always proving he was better than me... more than ever, I'd make a real effort so he wouldn't have to worry about me anymore.


	49. Offer

**Offer**

Later, I went to the living room, Matt was out and Rach was watching TV. She asked me if I wanted to try to eat something, I decided to try… I said I'd get something in the kitchen, but she offered to make me a soup. I didn't like soups very much, but it was better not to try anything to solid. It took me almost an hour to finish the soup, with Rachel helping, but I finally was able to keep everything inside. It was a huge step, I was so relieved... Matt was very happy when he heard, which made me even more relieved. Things were starting to get better, I was able to eat some stuff and sleep a little bit more.

Rachel went back to Chicago a few days later, and Matt was a little bummed. But I was a little better already, soon he'd be able to go to Chicago see her. After a while I was even better, I was eating normally and sleeping almost all night long. I wasn't so thin and so pale anymore. But I was only better on the outside, so nobody would worry about me anymore, on the inside I was miserable, I was still felling so angry with myself, and missing David so much… I was really trying to change, become a better person. I wanted to do something different, that could end this depression, but had no idea what it could be. And then, a very interesting opportunity took the form of a visit a few days later.

I was taking a shower and there was nobody else at home, so I had to run to open the door.

"Lara!"

"Hey Anne! How are you?"

She doesn't need to know the truth now.

"Fine! Come on in!"

"I'm sorry for showing up like this, but we haven't seen each other in a while, so I decided to surprise you... are you busy?"

"No, I'm glad that you came!"

Now I was being honest.

"But you don't look okay... something happened? How are things between you and David, was everything okay after the prison thing?"

Wow, that seemed another life already...

"Actually we did... but worst things happened after that… you wanna hear a long story?"

"I have the entire afternoon."

We sat on the couch and I told her everything, including the things I had found out about myself and how I was feeling. When I finished, she was in silence for a while.

"Well... what you did was terrible, Anne... I don't know how you had the courage..."

"I ask myself this same question everyday."

"Yeah, I can't picture David forgiving you..."

"He won't forgive me and I told you, don't want him to..."

"Well, at least you learned a lot..."

"Tell me about it..."

"But Anne, I didn't come here just to talk to you... actually, I have an offer for you… are you working right now?"

"No... just some stuff occasionally..."

"A friend of mine has a big producer... and he needs someone there right away, he asked me if I didn't know anyone, and I thought of you!"

Ok, she cheered me up.

"Really, Lara? That's great! When can I talk to him?"

"I brought his number so you can call him... but there's a little problem..."

"What?"

"The producer isn't in Oklahoma."

Ops.

"Where is it?"

"It's in... New York."

"NEW YORK? But it's so... far away."

And I didn't mean far from home. It was far from... him.

"I know Anne, that's what I told him, that would be hard for you to accept it, cause it's so far..."

And the I realized this could be the perfect opportunity I was waiting for, to forget about everything...

"No Lara... don't tell him anything yet, I'm gonna think about it... very carefully..."

"Would you be willing to move to New York?"

"It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world."

Actually, I have always been fascinated by New York, since I was a little girl… living there was a dream.

"Well Anne, I'm going... think about it, and tell me what you decide… here's the guy's number, his name is Phillip. But don't take too long, otherwise he can find someone else."

I promised I'd think about it...

And I really did. It was very tempting, leaving Tulsa, moving to the biggest city in the country... and Lara had told me the money was great, it was an once in a lifetime opportunity. But on the other hand, it would be hard leaving everything behind, my friends, my parents, my brother… David. I know we weren't speaking to each other anymore, but at least I knew he was there, next door. If I moved, he would be hundreds of miles away… but maybe that's what I needed, being away from David, maybe that was the "easiest" way to forget him… I mean, I knew I would never forget him completely, but maybe if I was busy, it would be easier… I was torn.

Matt got home at night and saw I was busy with something. He asked what was going on, I told him about Lara's offer, and I didn't know what to do.

"An, I have only one question for you. Do you WANT to go?"

I knew the answer to that.

"I do."

"Then, that's it. It's what you've always wanted. Go, if it doesn't work out, you know you can always come back."

Hearing Matt say that, seemed so easy.

"I'm gonna miss you Matt..."

He smiled.

"New York is right there, Anne… what, 5, 6 states away? Just a 3 hour flight…"

"And maybe I can find a job there too, and then I move in with you!"

"Yeah… it'd be almost… perfect."

I couldn't disguise a sad tone.

"What? You don't want me there living with you?"

"It's not that, it's just... nothing, I just remembered something… David and I always used to say we were gonna live in NY someday, leave Tulsa… and you always said you wanted to go too…"

"Yeah, things change... but don't be sad sis, think that you'll do very good there! And have a lot of fun!"

"Yeah, I guess..."

He hugged me.

I talked to my parents next day, they were worried, but they knew that's what I wanted, and they were very supportive. So, I called Phillip. I told him about what I had done already, including the trip to Brazil. I sent him my portfolio, and some numbers for recommendation. He gave me the producer's website, I knew it, actually, it was very famous. I was even more excited.

2 days later, Phillip called me, and said that if I was willing to move to New York, the job was mine. I knew what I wanted. I said yes.

* * *

><p>Guys, don't forget to read the other fic too, everything David is doing while this is happening to Anne, you'll find there!<p>

_.net/s/7733962/1/Its_up_to_me_to_forget_


	50. Farewell

**Farewell**

He sent me a ticket to go to NY to visit the producer, and try to get an apartment. I got all my winter clothes, I knew it must be cold there already, winter is coming. Matt offered to go with me, but I told him it was not necessary.

I got there on a Saturday morning and I got chills when I got out of JFK. I had been in New York a few times before, but it was inevitable. I took a cab to Upper West Side, I was staying in Beacon Hotel, on Broadway Avenue, close to Central Park. The hotel was awesome, I was glad the producer was paying, otherwise I'd have to choose a cheaper one. I went to my room and left my stuff there. I changed, took the subway and went to the producer, in Harlem.

I was amazed. The equipments were super modern, studios were huge, they had contracts with big advertising agencies... and people were great too, everyone was so friendly. I got the feeling I'd be happy there. I talked to Phillip, and said I had liked it a lot. He asked me when could I move, I asked for 2 weeks.

I left the producer feeling happy, and excited. I got the subway, and then stopped at a newsstand and bought a paper. I was a lovely fall afternoon, and instead going back to the hotel, I went to the Central Park, sat under a tree and started looking for apartments.

It was gonna be a nearly impossible mission to find something good in 3 days... maybe when I moved here, I could stay in a hotel for a while, until I found a place to live... and nothing much expensive, at least for now... I had the money I got in Brazil, but I couldn't spend everything... I was looking at the couples passing by, and I couldn't help thinking that David could be here with me, reading the newspaper, looking for a place for us… but I'd have to push that thought away. I found some interesting stuff, I was gonna take a look.

The next day, I went out early to see the apartments, but I didn't like anything. I really wanter to see the city, but I had to find something fast. After all, I was gonna live here, I'd have time for that. I walked around all day long, no luck. I went back to the hotel and started talking to the recepcionist, Jane. I said I was from Tulsa, would move to NY and needed an apartment. She said her sister was moving to Florida, and her apartment here was for rent, and the price was good. I got excited, she offered to go there with me the next day, because it was her day off.

We went there in the morning, it was a small building, very New Yorkish. And it was I Midtown, close to Times Square, so perfect! The apartment was small, well furnished, with one bedroom. It was small, but very cozy. It was love at first sight. Jane went downstairs to get the mail and I stayed there, alone. I heard David's voice telling me that someday we'd live in New York, rent an small apartment, and dominate the city… I looked around, I'd have to dominate NY alone now...

The apartment seemed to be in excelent conditions and the rent was good. So I decided to stay there. I solved everything, and went back to Tulsa. I had a lot to do there.

...

I asked people not to tell David about me moving to NY, he didn't have to know. I spent the following week going after a lot of things, and Matt helped me a lot. He said he had got a week off to go there with me, until I have settled. I thought it was great, I'd be lost in that huge city. He asked me to book a ticket for him on my flight, since the producer had already sent me mine. But when I was going to buy hs ticket, I had an idea. I made a call, and bought the ticket. I felt very happy.

Matt insisted on throwing a farewell party for me, even though I wasn't in the mood for parties.

"But it's not a party, Na, just some pizzas and beer! No big deal!

"Fine, Matt..."

He was in charge of inviting people, and the party was scheduled for the day before our departure.

"Can I invite David and Andrew? I'm just kidding."

I laughed.

"I don't think so... let's avoid embarrassements..."

I was trying to focus on the idea that I'd thrive in New York, and not on the part of being away from David... I knew I'd suffer with that, but there was no other way. Matt had asked me why I didn't tell David I was moving. I didn't know exactly what to answer, I guess he didn't need to know… if he was no coming, there was no point on telling him.

About 4 days before going, I was already tired of doing so many things, everything was already taken care of. I got a Coke and sat on the porch, to enjoy the last moments living here. I tried not to look at his house. My cell rang, I looked at the screen. Am I seeing right? Ok, I'm gonna answer.

"Kyle?"

"Hi Anne... how are you?"

"Fine... is something wrong, Kyle?"

When I broke up with him, I knew we could be friends, but I had never heard of him ever since... he said he was in Tulsa visiting some friends and wanted to know how I was doing, cause we hadn't spoke in ages. I said I was fine, I wasn't gonna tell everything by phone and to HIM... we talked a little bit, he asked if I wanted to go out one of these days to "catch up", but I confess I wasn't tempted at all, he didn't mean anything anymore, I could only think about "the big brother from next door"… but Kyle was a nice person.

"Kyle... I'm afraid I can't… I'm moving to New York on Saturday…"

"WHAT?"

"Yeah, I got a great job there..."

"wow, that's... great."

"Kyle, Matt's throwing a farewell party here on Friday, if you wanna come, it's gonna be cool. Starts at 8."

"Oh, ok then... I'll drop by."

Next 2 days flew by, and when I realized it, it was already Friday night and people were arriving to the party. I haven't even finished packing yet, I'd do it on Saturday morning, the flight was only at 4 pm.

Some of our friends and cousins came. I was excited, I could almost forget about David sometimes, at least when we were talking crap and imagining my trips to the Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building, etc…

Kyle arrived around 9, he looked exactly the same. I saw he wanted to try something with me, but I cut him off, I didn't want to give him the wrong impression. And I had a lot of people to talk to. But I couldn't help missing David, not even for a second... or imagining that the farewell party could be for him too…

A lot of pizzas and beers later, the guys wanted to play truth or dare. NO WAY! If they wanted to, it would be without me... but they gave up, thank God… I started talking to some friends, and when I realized it, it was already 3 am.

People started to leave, and I wanted to find Lara, I hadn't seen her for a while. Actually... where was Kyle?

When I looked at the porch, my qyestion was answered.

I didn't dare going there, apparently these guy's night was only starting... Lara would have to tell me everything later... I was glad for them, I hope it lasts.

I went to my room to try to get some sleep, I had to wake up early to finish packing. I put my pajamas on and looked through the window, David was getting home. My heart hurt, I hadn't seen him for a while, and that would probably be the last time I'd see him before going to New York… more than anything, I wanted to go there and hug him, touch him, feel his scent, I missed him so much… But I just closed the drapes and lay down. I almost couldn't sleep, I was only thinking about the trip, my new life, but mostly thinking about him.

I woke up early and started packing my stuff. I turned the radio on: .com/watch?v=HCeS-yorGtc For one second, I caught myself looking for the guitar, but I remembered she didn't exist anymore… I had to save some money to buy another one, anything but a Fender... I was taking things out of my drawers, I hadn't touched them yet. I opened the last one. A tear immediately rolled down my face. All the memories from David, a lot of pictures, lyrics, notes, letters, emails from the times he travelled and I printed to read before going to bed, Daughtry's pick, the note that came with the guitar, the coaster from Outback, pictures from the good part of Hawaii trip, tickets to the cinema, parks, bars, the musical… the cd that played on our first time, and I had stolen from Matt's car, the shirt that he put in me so I wouldn't be cold, and I never returned, it still smelled like him… everything that I kept to remind me of him… and he said I didn't think about him… at least that part was not true… every piece of memory that I got out of the drawer, I cried even harder, thinking about everything I had lost and now was definitely staying behind.

I stared at all of that for a long time, there were a lot of images crossing my mind... since our childhood, our games, those midnight talks on the porch, Matt, David and me... we laughed out loud, and my parents always came out to tell us to shut up... those afternoons we spent in his room, he was patiently teaching me how to play, I remembered the first song I wrote, and ran to play to him... of when I turned 16 and made him teach me how to drive at the same day... our road trips where we sang out loud, going to Texas' Six Flags, the beach in Louisiana, and when the 3 of us saved moneys for months to go to Disney World, it was the first time I rode a plane... I remembered American Idol, when we used to watch the first seasons, and make fun of the bad contestants… since the first season I always said he had to try, but he said "that was not for him"... the finale day, I'd never forget the moment Ryan said "COOK!", and when I hugged him on stage... everything started changing the next day…

I remembered our first kiss, our first time... I could almost hear the tools falling and the sound of our laughter... so many things happened, so many fights, but so many good memories... I felt I couldn't leave like that, leave things that way, not after we had lived in more than 20 years... I didn't want David to forgive me so we could be together again, but we could at least be in peace, not exactly be friends again but have something nice, without so much anger, for everything we have been through... at least so I could be in peace in New York... above everything, I missed his friendship... I decided he had to see all those memories, see that I had thought about him as well, that he had always been essencial in my life... that I had grown up, realized and learned a lot of things... so I had an idea...


	51. Ashes

**Ashes**

I got everything and put in a paper bag. I ran downstairs, and when I was at the door, Matt asked me where I was going.

"I'll be right back, Matt!"

"Don't take long Anne, flight leaves…"

"I know Matt, I won't take long!"

I looked at David's house, his car was there, so he must be there too. Great. I walked to the end of the street, where there was the abandoned house the 3 of us used to play in when we were little. Right after I got in, I could almost hear the laughter, the shouting, our steps going up and down the stairs… I couldn't help smiling. I got my cell and texted David, asking him to meet me here, I had something important to say.

I got everything out of the bag, and spread it around the living room. I put photos and lyrics above the fireplace... I spreaded the cd, the pick, letters, emails, notes, tickets, everything on the table, I hung his shirt on the back of the chair... then I sat to wait. I was holding the coaster, it had been so long... I read it again...

"Sis, never forget how much I like you."

I wonder if after everything that happened, that was still true. I got my Ipod in my purse, and started listening to my songs… there were so many special ones, and his songs too, even some I had written. I couldn't help remembering when I used to sit on the porch to listen to music and David arrived, sat beside me to listen too. He always sent me songs to put on my Ipod, he loved to criticize my musical taste… and they were still there… tears were rolling down and I couldn't help it.

I waited for 1 hour and a half and nothing, I had already listened to all my songs. I checked the clock, 1:00, my flight was at 4, I couldn't wait much longer. He always replied quickly when I texted him, specially when he was at home. He was obviously not coming, and I couldn't blame him. I turned off my Ipod and put it in my purse. I saw something in there that gave me an idea. I felt, I don't know how, that he'd show up sometime. And he'd find something when he did.

I got my camera, saw there was a Picture inside it, put it on the table, turned it on and sat in front of it. I took a deep breath and said everything I wanted to say to him... It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, sometimes I had to stop because I just couldn't go on. When I finished, I turned off the camera and took deep breaths until I could calm down a little bit. I took the tape out of the camera, and put it on the table. I looked at all those things around the room. What I was going to do with that? Leave it there? Bring to NY with me? No... you know what... Since I have to forget about David, I should start by getting rid of everything that reminded me of him.

I ran back home, his car was still in the garage, but there was no sign of him... I opened the door sharply and scared Matt, who was passing by.

"ARE YOU CRAZY ANNE, YOU WANNA DIE?"

I had no time for that.

"Matt, where's the alcohol?"

"Alcohol? Are you drinking NOW?"

"Of course not Matt, WHERE IS THE ALCOHOL?"

"Anne, why…"

"Matthew, if you don't tell me where's the alcohol NOW, I'm gonna find it myself."

"I'll get it for you."

Meanwhile, I got a matchbox on the shelf. He came running with the alcohol I got it and ran away.

"Anne, the flight..."

I screamed from outside...

"I KNOW, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, MATT!"

I got into the house again, got all the stuff and sat in front of the fireplace. I threw picture by picture, letter by letter, the notes, the lyrics, everything inside the fireplace, that was close to the window. I got the alcohol and gave a last glance at all those things. Impossible not to cry again. I got an old photo of us and the coaster. I splashed the rest with the alcohol. I put the photo in my purse, got the coaster, wrote "Bro" on top of "Sis", put it on the table, got the tape and put on top of it.

I got a match, stopped in front of the fireplace, stroke it, took a deep breath, closed my eyes and threw it. Whithin seconds, all that past was on fire. I couldn't watch that, I got my purse and left.

My father and Matt were already putting the luggage in the trunk.

"I was about to call you!"

"I told you I'd be back on time…"

My mom left the house screaming.

"Anne, check if you didn't forget anything, we're late!"

I saw that my bags were all in the trunk, everything ok.

"Let's go."

I looked at my house one more time... and looked away when we passed by David's.

We got to the airport and did the check in. It was not a direct flight, we had a connection in Chicago. We said good bye to my parents, and on course, we had to listen to all the recommendations, and then we went to the boarding lounge. I was a bit nervous for what was to come. I was lost in thoughts when we hear the speaker.

"First call to flight 3992 to Chicago, Illinois, gate 3."

I grinned. We got our stuff and boarded the plane. Matt slept almost through the entire flight, but I wasn't asleep. All of the sudden, I had an idea. I opened my purse and found what I was looking for. I also got my notebook and wrote a note. I put everything together and looked for something to wrap it. I found a paper bag, that would do. I put it in my purse again. We got to Chicago after an hour or so.

The light to NY would live in one hour. I looked at Matt.

"Matt, go get your bag... There are some luggage coming out of the baggage claim."

He was confused.

"What? I thought the luggage would go straight to the other plane..."

I looked down and grinned.

"MINE will..."

"Anne, I don't understand anything…"

"Matt, did you check your ticket? No, right?"

He got it to read again.

"Ok, flight 3992 to Chicago, Illinois... what about it?"

"Weird... it doesn't say anything about the connection? Mine does, look!"

He read my ticket. I smiled.

"What's going on, Anne?"

"You haven't understood yet right? Look there, then."

I made him look outside the arrival gate. There was Rachel. It was like he was looking at an hallucination.

"Do you get now, Matt? I am going to New York. YOU stay here with her."

His face was hilarious.

"Are you crazy? What do you mean?"

I waved at her and sat with him on the chairs.

"Matt, listen to me. You did A LOT for me, I'd never imagine you could do so much, I admit it…"

He laughed.

"You were "against" your best friend for me, even though you knew I was wrong. You stayed in Tulsa for me, instead of coming to Chicago. I'll never forget that. And I told you you could come when I was better. This is it, I'm giving it back to you.

He was still confused.

"But... but what about New York, you're going alone, and…"

"Matt, I can handle it, I'm a big girl. Don't worry about me. Think about your week with Rachel. It's my gift to you, for everything you did for me.

He lowered his head and smiled. He tried to say something, but it didn't come out. Matt was not so good with words sometimes. And then he hugged me, and I felt he was laughing and crying at the same time, I couldn't hold the tears either. We both knew we didn't have to say anything.

I had to board the other plane. We got up, he had to get his luggage. He held my face in his hands.

"Are you gonna be okay? Are you sure?"

I smiled.

"Absolutely."

"Call me when you get there."

He held me again, pretty tight.

"I love you, okay?"

"I love you too."

He kissed me on the forehead and turned around to leave. And then I remembered.

"MATT!"

I got the package out of my purse and gave it to him.

"Give this to David on his birthday, please? Don't do it before! And don't open it!"

He laughed and put it in his pocket.

"No problem, I'll give it to him on the 20th."

He kissed me again and left. I waved at him and Rachel, and the speaker announced…

"First call to flight 1362 to New York City, gate 6."

I felt nervous. I was feeling very happy for what I had done for Matt, and now it was time to face the "Big Apple". When we were almost landing and the pilot announced "Welcome to New York", I couldn't hold the tears (for a change). But I knew it was not actually because I was arriving in New York. It was for what had stayed in Tulsa.


	52. Fresh Start

**Fresh start**

Landing on JFK was always exciting for me, but this time was different, it was definitive, a dream coming true (or almost)... I was on my own now.

I got my luggage and went looking for a cab. On the way to the apartment, I was lost looking at the streets… that would be my new home, I'd wander a lot in those streets… I was hoping everything worked out. I couldn't stop smiling.

Right after I got home, Lara called me, she wanted to know how was the flight, but specially tell me what had happened with Kyle last night, and said she might like him. But she was kinda embarrassed, cause she thought I wouldn't like it very much. But actually I was happy for them, and I really hope things would work out for them.

I adapted to the new job very fast, and to New York too, after all, I loved that city. But it wasn't so easy, as much as I liked it, I missed Tulsa, my house, my friends, my parents, Matt… and David, always… it was weird being alone. But it was for a good cause, I was doing what I loved and making good money, I knew it would be worth it, I talked to Matt almost everyday, he had had a lot of fun in Chicago with Rachel, that's amazing. I just couldn't stop wondering if David had found the video… and I didn't even know if I'd find out some day.

After a week working, I was called to work in a movie shooting. I was very excited, it was a great opportunity. I got the script, I still didn't know what it was about, I took it home, made some pop corn and put on some music to read it. It was a romantic comedy, a very classic one. God, I hate love. It's something against me, that's the only explanation… it could be a horror movie, but no. But okay, I'm a professional. The only thing is that while I was reading it, I was picturing David and I as the main characters…

A couple of days later I was introduced to to some actors from the movie, and the guy who would play the male lead was called Josh, and I have to admit it, he was not ugly. Ok, he was hot. But I didn't care much, I couldn't think if anyone else.

Next day, I was in the producer when the phone rang.

"Anne? It's Josh."

Ok, I'm surprised.

"Can I help you with anything?"

"I'm sure you can... just go out with me on Saturday."

WHAT? Now I'm really I shock.

"What do you mean Josh? Are you serious?"

"Of course I am, I wanna go out with you!"

God, help me.

"Look Josh, I'm sorry but it's not gonna happen, I'm very busy, talk to you later, bye."

I had really changed, in another occasion I know I'd have said yes, he was so cute... but I couldn't even think about going out with anyone…

I thought nothing else would happened, but I was wrong. Josh just didn't leave me alone, he was always calling me, always going after me in the shootings… and I was always giving excuses not to go out with him, it was getting pretty obvious… I even said an aunt had died and I had to be alone…

All the girls who worked with me thought I was crazy, they all found Josh very hot, and couldn't understand why I was avoiding him. I guess I didn't understand it either, I considered saying yes sometimes, but then I changed my mind.

A week later, I was in the studio at the end of a shooting and Josh came to talk to me. He didn't seem very friendly.

"Anne, you're not leaving until you tell me why you're running away from me."

Oops.

"What are you talking about? I'm not running away from you, I'm just very busy right now…"

I tried to leave, but he grabbed my arm.

"Don't lie to me Anne, I know when someone is running away from me, I want to know why! You don't even know me yet, I wanted you to give me a chance, I like you a lot!"

"I'm not running away from you Josh..."

"Of course you are, I'm asking you out everyday and you always have an excuse! Nobody is that busy! There's something happening and you're gonna tell me now."

Yeah, I couldn't deny...

"Josh, here's the thing, some stuff happened a while ago, I'm not very nice yet, but I can't tell you, it's kinda secret... but before getting involved with anyone, I have to forget everything I went through…

"Okay Anne, I understand, I don't wanna know what happened, I don't care, really… if you wanna wait a little that's fine, I understand…"

Yeah… Josh was nice… maybe I could consider going out with him in the future.

Weekend arrived, and I had nothing to do, I was doing crosswords in bed on Saturday morning. I started thinking a lot, and decided to give Josh a chance, it wouldn't hurt. I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to... I decided to give it a try. Maybe it could work out. I called him, he would pick me up at 8.

He arrived a little earlier, I wasn't ready yet, I made him wait for me in the living room and closed myself in my room to finish drying my hair. When I went back to the living room, I found Josh with a weird expression.

"What happened?"

"Is your big secret called Andrew, by any chance?"

WHAT?

"What are you talking about Josh?"

He went to the answering machine and pressed play. I heard a familiar voice.

_"Anne, it's Andrew... I know you must find weird me calling you... but despite what happened... there's something going on, and I think you should know... call me when you can, bye."_

I didn't know what to say. In fact, I was more worried about what Andrew had to tell me than with what I had to say to Josh. What if something had happened to David? He was waiting for an answer. You know what? Screw it.

"Yeah, Andrew is a part of the secret, but not the main thing, which is David. You wanted to know? So, I'm gonna tell you everything, sit down."

I told him almost everything, mostly the last events, what I had done with Andrew because I was pissed with David, the fact that he found out about it, our fight (including the broken Fender), and everything that happened after, including the support of my brother. When I finished, he was quiet for a few moments. And then he got up.

"You're fucking kidding me, right?"

"What?"

"I just cannot believe what I just heard, you've got to be kidding me, you 're CRAZY!"

I couldn't move.

"How can you sleep with the brother of the guy you say you love? You're ridiculous, you don't care about anyone! You know what, this David guy is so right, if he has some respect for himself he'll never speak to you again! If it was me, I'd broken the guitar on your head!"

I was in shock, I couldn't speak... tears were rolling down... he went on.

"You don't deserve anyone's respect, I feel sorry for the people who have tolive with you... I'm glad we never went out... thank Andrew for me, that way I could know what kind of person you are, I don't understand how I insisted so much to go out with you... in fact, this Andrew is na idiot, if I were him, I also wouldn't talk to you anymore, his brother doesn't talk to him because of you! And Matthew is another idiot, he knows everything you did to his friend and stays on your side... actually I can understand, you have the same blood, you must be the same, he must be a jerk just like his sister!"

Wait a minute, not Matt. That was too much. I got up.

"Josh, you can say anything you want about me, I know I deserve it anyway, but wash your mouth before you say a word about my brother! I won't admit that!"

"Fine, I won't say anything else anyway, I already wasted time enough with you, I have more things to do."

And he slammed the door.


	53. Worries

**Worries**

I sat on the couch in shock. I knew I deserved that, but I didn't expect that much… It took a while for me to recover. I wiped away the tears and looked at the answering machine. I heard Andrew's message again, what could have possibly happened, that made him find out my number and leaving a message? Well, there was only one way to know, I'd have to call him. I got my cell and got him cell number, I couldn't call their home, David could answer…

I took a while to dial, I was afraid of what I might hear… He answered quickly.

"Hello?"

"Hi Andrew... It's Anne."

"Hi Anne! I'm glad you called!"

I couldn't desguise my sadness, Josh really depressed me...

"You wanted to talk to me Drew?"

"I did actually, I got your numberwith Matt because it's important... but... are you okay? You don't sound very good."

"I'm fine Drew, don't worry... but what happened, I'm worried… something happened to David?"

No, it's not David... actually... It's Adam."

Adam? I thought about everything but that.

"What happened to Adam, Andrew?"

"He's not doing very good... he got worst on the last couple of weeks, and he was hospitalized a few days ago… I'm scared Anne..."

I didn't know what to say... actually, there was nothing to say… I felt a lump in my throat..

"Drew... it's gonna be okay, you'll see... everything will be fine..."

Man, that's a terrible thing to say... everybody says that... but I didn't know what else to say…

"That's what I hope, Anne..."

I couldn't help asking...

"What about David, how's he doing?"

"Not very well… I guess you can imagine."

I felt awful for being so far away, even though David was mad at me, I wanted to be there…

"Drew, I really wanted to go to Tulsa, but I can't, I started working just now, I can't ask for days off..."

"I know that Anne, I'm not asking you to come back, I just wanted to tell you what's going on, I know you like Adam, and I assumed David didn't tell you anything..."

"Yeah, you assumed right… but thanks again for telling me Drew… really…"

"Take care, Anne…"

I hung up the phone and felt devastated. First, Josh humiliated me, and now this… I didn't want to think about what could happen to Adam… He was David's older brother, and he had brain cancer for years, but I didn't want to imagine the worst could happen… and Andrew was right, I did like Adam, even though we were not so close and I didn't see him so often, I liked talking to him, he was an interesting person.

I was feeling awful. He was sick sometimes, but it was the first time I was not with David. I wanted to be with him more than ever, specially if something happened… but I knew that if I went back, he might buy another guitar just to smash in on my head…

I couldn't sleep well, I spent almost all night long thinking about what had happened in only one day…

On Sunday, I called Matt to talk about Adam, and why he hadn't told me before, he said he didn't know, he hadn't talked to David anymore, he only knew when Andrew asked him for my number and told him what was going on. I asked him to tell me if something happened. While I was talking to Matt, I missed him so much, I felt lonelier than the other days... I considered taking a plane and going back to Tulsa, leaving everything here, but I knew it was silliness... I'd have to hang on...

... 

Next 2 weeks were a hell. Not only I was worried about Adam, Josh told some people from the producer what I had done, I had to deal with people looking at me, whispering, making jokes… I couldn't wait to get out of there every day and go home, I cried every night, spent a lot of time talking to Matt, sometimes I went for a walk and did some shopping, to get distracted, but every day I had to force myself not to go back home. Matt was very supportive, he was always telling me to stay, because it would be worth it.

I was living one day at a time, but it wasn't easy. And I missed David every day. On his birthday, I didn't know what to do, I considered calling, but I was afraid he'd yell at me, I'm a coward… I decided to text him, it was less risky, I wouldn't have to hear his voice, specially telling me things I didn't wanna hear. It took almost all day long for me to send it, I only wrote 2 phrases.

"Happy Birthday, I love you."

I took a deep breath and sent it, I didn't wait for an answer, I knew it wouldn't come.

2 days later, I was getting home tired, the shooting had finished earlier, it was still afternoon but I was tired. When I got home, my cell rang.

"Hello?"

"Hi Anne."

His voice was different.

"Hey Matt... is everything okay?"

"Not really."

I sat on the couch. If Matt was that serious, it was serious.

"What happened Matt, I'm worried! Is it David?"

"No. It's Adam."

My heart felt heavy, I imagined what might be, but a part of me was praying not to be what I thought... I took a deep breath and got up.

"What happened to him, Matt?"

I closed my eyes before hearing the answer.

"He died this morning, Anne."


	54. Goodbye

**Goodbye**

I was breathless. My hand was shaking, I couldn't hold the cell anymore. I hang up on Matt and the cell fell off. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't move, I was looking around, I couldn't stand up anymore, I sat on the floor, leaned on the couch and hugged my knees to my chest. I felt tears coming and I couldn't help it, I had a lot of happy memories of Adam, I thought about his wife, Kendra, and his kids… and mostly about David, and how he'd be feeling, I felt worst than ever, and angrier with myself, because if I hadn't screwed things up, I'd probably be by his side right now, and the thing I wanted the most in the world was to be in Tulsa, to hug him, I'd give anything for that…

On an impulse, I got my cell to call him, I dialed 4 numbers, but hung up, terrible idea... what would I say? There were no words...and then I thought about Matt, I tried to imagine how it would be if he wasn't here anymore, so I could at least try to understand how what David might be feeling, and then I remembered he really might not be here after the accident, I cried even harder just to consider this possibility, I don't know what would have happened to me… I really wanted to see my brother, hug him too, I felt so lonely, I wish Matt was here… I couldn't stop crying, I couldn't believe Adam wasn't here anymore, it was impossible... as much as everybody knew this moment could come, we couldn't be prepared for it… I don't know how long I stayed there, tears kept coming...

I tried to get up, but I had no strength. My cell rang again, I got it, tried to say something but it didn't come out.

"Anne? Are you there?"

I felt a little better by hearing his voice. My voice was husky.

"Yes."

"I thought it was better to give you some time... how are you doing?"

"I don't know Matt... when's the funeral?"

"Tomorrow at 5 pm."

"I'm going to the airport now try to get a flight home Matt, I'm gonna do everything to be there, not even if I have to rent a car and leave now to get there on time, but I'll be there tomorrow."

I didn't care about work, the producer, nothing else mattered now...

"Ok... just let me know so I can pick you up at the airport, in case you get a flight."

I'd have to ask.

"Matt... how's David doing?"

"I don't know An, I didn't talk to him yet... Andrew told me."

"Okay Matt, I talk to you later. I love you, okay?"

"Me too."

After a few minutes, I got up, washed my face, got some clothes, and took a cab to the airport. Luckly I'd get a flight to Tulsa at that same day, I wouldn't mind waiting at the airport. But there was only one flight, and it was full. I got a seat on next day flight, at 2 pm... I'd get there 1 hour before the funeral, but it was better than nothing.

I went back home, called Matt to let him know what time I'd arrive, called the producer to say I'd have to miss a few days, took a shower and tried to sleep, even though I wasn't asleep at all. I was awake for like 3 hours, thinking about Adam, how Kendra and the kids were, and about Matt and David, as always... man, I wish I was there with him… and at the same time I was afraid of his reaction when he saw me at his brother funeral... would he tell me to leave? It probably would be better if I didn't go, but I had to go, I had to see my brother, and I'd go to the funeral even if I had to be hidden.

I didn't sleep much, in the morning I got more clothes and some christmas presents that I had bought to my parents and brother. I went to the airport too soon, I couldn't stay at home anymore. I called Matt again, to see if he was really picking me up… I was getting very anxious to see him.

But the flight was half-hour late, I was worried I wouldn't get there on time... I checked my watch every five minutes, time was flying, when I landed was almost 4:30, luckly my luggage didn't take much to come out of the baggage claim. I ran to the gate and started looking for Matt, he was nowhere, I was getting nervous, he wouldn't leave me there waiting! After a few seconds I saw him coming from the snack bar, with a chocolate one one hand and smiling. I almost ran towards him, when I got close, I dropped my bag on the floor and jumped to hug him. He was caught by surprise, but held me tight too... I tried to say something, but it didn't come out, I just held him tighter. I swallowed the tears so I wouldn't look even more ridiculous, I hid my face in his shoulder. After a few moments, he spoke...

"I missed you too, Anne."

I tried even harder not to cry.

He let me go, held my face in his hands like he always did and looked at me.

"How are you?"

I smiled, feeling so relieved for being there.

"Better."

He kissed me on the forehead, got my bag, gave me the chocolate, put his arm around my shoulders and started walking fast.

"Come on, we're gonna be late... actually we're already late... mom and dad are already there, why did your flight had to be delayed?"

Yeah, he never changes.

We were in the car, on the way to the funeral, and I was impatient with something. Ever since I knew Adam had died, there was something I had to say to Matt, but I didn't know exactly how to. In fact, I wanted to say that for a while, this kinda thing is always awkward, but now I was more eager than ever. I took a deep breath and spoke without looking at him.

"Matt..."

He didn't look at me as well.

"What?"

"I'm glad you're here..."

He glanced at me while he making a turn.

"Of course I'm here Anne, I told you I'd pick you up right?"

Gee.

"I'm not talking about that Matt… you know what, nevermind."

"Say it, Anne!"

"It's nothing Matt, it's silliness, nevermind, really."

He stopped at the red light and turned at me.

"I wanna know what it is Anne, I'm curious now!"

I spoke slowly.

"Ok then... don't laugh... what I mean is, I'm glad you're STILL here... you know... after what happened to you when I was in Australia... I don't know what I'd have done..."

I felt I was blushing. He smiled, I looked down, he understood. He pulled me and gave me a kiss on the top of my head.

"What did you think? You'd get rid of me that easily? And have no one to bug you? Never!"

I laughed and the light turned green.

When we were almost there, I made a question that was bothering me.

"Matt?"

He laughed.

"What?"

"You think David will be mad? You know, me showing up at his brother funeral? Wouldn't it be better if I didn't go? He must be feeling bad enough…"

He took a while to answer.

"You know what I honestly think? If I were David, I'd be even thankful for you coming here for Adam, even though you just started your new job, for caring… as much as he's mad at you, this has nothing to do with you and your fight… and besides, I guess he might not even remember why he's mad at you, al least not now."

"Yeah… I hope you're right."

When we got there, the funeral had already started. My parents were on the other side, but I wasn't looking for them. I saw David not too far from me, looking down. Kelly, his ex-girlfriend, was standing on one side of him, and Andrew was on the other. We got closer to the people. David was looking at me, we stared at each other for a few moments, and I looked away. I could think about what to say to him later, what mattered now was Adam. Matt reappeared beside me (I hadn't notice he was gone), give me a white rose and put his arm around my shoulder. The ceremony was beautiful, there was a priest saying some things, but I wasn't really listening. In the end, some people threw roses on the grave, Matt and I got closer and I threw mine. I looked at Kendra and the kids, I couldn't even imagine what they might be feeling.

People were going to the family to give their condolences. I thought it was better to leave, but Matt encouraged me to go there. I got to Andrew first, he hugged me.

"Thanks for coming."

I didn't really know what to say...

"He's much better now, Drew…"

"Yeah, I know…"

I looked to David, he was looking at me. I kissed Andrew on the cheek and went towards him, my hands were shaking and sweating. I stopped in front of him and trying to control the impulse of hugging him, I couldn't look him in the eyes, I was looking down, to my hands.

"Hi... David."

His voice was choking.

"Hey Anne..."

I hesitated for a moment. I wasn't sure about what to say, my voice came out lower than I intended to.

"Dave... I'm sorry for coming, I know I shouldn't have… but… I had to… I really wanted to be here… I'm so sorry for him, I really am, I…"

But I couldn't finish. I looked at him, his expression made me forget what I was saying... his eyes were puffy and red, and he looked kinda pale. I wanted to cry even more. I was afraid he might argue with me for showing up here, tell me I shouldn't be here... I waited for him to say something.

"I really thought he'd be okay, Anne..."

And he hugged me. I felt he was crying, so I couldn't hold it anymore. I was grabbing his shirt, I tried to hold him as tight as I could, I tried to say something, but nothing came out. When he let me go, we stared at each other again, and I still didn't know what to say, there were no words. I tried something obvious.

"Dave, it's gonna be..."

"I know."

We were still staring at each other. I saw Matt arriving beside me, and I started walking away, when David grabbed my arm. He looked into my eyes.

"Thank you for coming back."


	55. Growth

**Growth**

There was the lump again. I tried to say something, but again, it didn't come out. I just nodded and walked away. I left him with Matt and went towards my parents.

We all went to the memorial service at David's. I stayed with Matt almost the whole time, I didn't want to be away from him for too long. Everytime I looked at David, Kelly was there. I wonder if they could get back together… well, I had no rights over him, he had to move on… I didn't stay there much long, he didn't seem angry, but I wouldn't push it. I decided it was time to leave.

Before going though, I felt I needed to do something else. I looked at David, he was talking to some friends, so I found who I was looking for, told Matt to wait and went over there.

"Kelly... I needed to talk to you."

I checked to see if David wasn't looking.

"Okay, what is it?"

"No, it can't be here... it's kinda private."

We went to the backyard, which was empty.

"Go ahead, Anne."

"Actually... I wanted to ask you something, Kelly."

She was cofused.

"I'm listening."

"Well... I realize you and Dave seem very close…"

"Yeah... we have been seen each other for the last few days... but I don't know for sure what's going on, we're not thinking about that now, with what happened to Adam and everything..."

"Yeah, I understand... but I wanted to ask you Kelly, with all my heart, to make David happy…"

My heart was heavy.

"What are you talking about Anne?"

"Kelly... you know I like David a lot, we've known each other since we were kids, and the thing I want the most, is his happiness... he has suffered enough, and more than anyone, he deserves to be happy, and I think you could make him happy…"

"You really think so, Anne?"

"Yeah, you have a history together... but of course, only you can be sure about your feelings, so please, only stay with him if you're sure you won't make him suffer... he can't suffer anymore, Kelly... promise me? Promise that if you're willing to, you'll make him happy?"

"But why are you asking me this now, Anne?"

"The reason doesn't matter… just promise?"

"Fine, if it's that important to you, I promise... even though I don't understand, I like him, I'm gonna try my best to make things work this time…"

"Thank you, Kelly... really... well, I'm going now, that's all…"

I turned my back to leave, but I remembered something.

"Kelly, please… David cannot know we had this conversation… okay?"

She thought for a few seconds.

"Okay, Anne."

I got inside to call Matt, and saw David getting something to eat. I took a deep breath, and went there.

"Dave?"

"Anne..."

He was so pale...

"I'm leaving now... but before I go, I want to tell you something..."

"I'm listening..."

He didn't seem rude or angry... I guess Matt was right, that didn't matter anymore.

"I came because I really wanted to be here right now... you know I cared a lot about Adam... but I wanted you to know... he's not the only reason why I came back."

I put my hands on the back of his neck, pulled him towards me and kissed his cheeck. I had to try really hard not to kiss him on the lips. I ran my fingers through his hair and looked at him. A tear rolled down, I couldn't help it.

"Take care, okay?"

He didn't say anything, just nodded. I stared at him for a few moments and left before doing something I could regret later.

I went home feeling relieved. I haven't feel that way in ages. I had given up on the love of my life, and not because I didn't love him, I just wanted to see him happy, that's the only thing that mattered… and if Kelly was the person who could give him this, so be it. I was leaving that selfish person behind me, and I felt very good about it. The only thing bothering me was not knowing if he had seen the tape. And I didn't have the guts to go to the house to check if it was still there or not.

... 

I decided to stay in Tulsa for Christmas, it would be in 2 days and it didn't make much sense going back to NY, the producer was on vacation and I only had to work on the 27th. My parents would spend Christmas in Hillsdale, a little town in Oklahoma, in an aunt's house. Matt and I decided to go with them, there was not much to do around here.

The city was dull, small, there was nothing to do, I was still sad about Adam and I couldn't stop think about David, I was hoping things were okay between Kelly and him, and that he was happy. Matt told me he had given my birthday present to him, but didn't see him open it. I wonder if he had liked it... another thing I might never know...

Christmas day was depressing, Matt was trying to cheer me up, but as hard as I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about David… I'd probably go crazy... it was weird not having him getting into my house, hiding my present, and telling me to look for it… it was getting hard every year, I sucked and took hours to find it… it seemed impossible that so much had changed in one year…

We went back to Tulsa on the 25th, I had to go back to NY the next day. My parents asked me to come back on New Year, but I didn't feel like it. I was in my room, packing, when Matt came in and sat on my bed.

"An... where you're gonna spend New Year?"

"In New York Matt, where else?"

"But with who? By yourself?"

"Yeah... it's the chance to spend New Year on Times Square, can you imagine how wonderful? It's one of the best in the world, they say..."

"No Anne, I'm not gonna let you be alone, I'm going there with you!"

My brother, always the same...

"Matt, I thought you were going to Chicago to meet your friends and Rachel."

"I was... but I'm not gonna leave you alone in NY, and on New Year!"

My brother is the best.

"Matt, go with your friends, actually I wanna be alone... I'm alone in a new city, with a lot of new things, it's the best way to start the year… alone."

Actually, I knew exactly who I wanted there with me, but anyway.

"So, don't worry about me, go to Illinois and spend New Year with Rachel. I'll be great."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. I promise I'll try to take some days off to come here. Or we could go to Chicago see Rachel, you said I could go with you, now I wanna go, I haven't been to Chicago in ages!"

"It's a deal then. But promise me you'll call me if anything happens?"

I laughed.

"Promise."

He hugged me.


	56. A Happy New Year

**A Happy New Year**

Matt took me to the airport next day, still asking me if I didn't want him to go with me to NY. I convinced him again, I really wanted to be alone.

I got to NY and went straight to bed, I'd have to wake up early and tried not to think about anything. The same thing happened the following days, I tried to focus on work, but it was harder than I imagined, since the year was in the end, there was not much work to do so I ended up thinking about things I didn't want to.

... 

On the 31st, I really didn't want to party. I woke up late, spent all day long on the couch eating junk food and watching movies, and I was planning on doing that all night long. And of course, I couldn't stop thinking about him. And I couldn't take this anymore, David had moved on and I had to do the same thing, I couldn't spend all my life suffering for him, I had to react. I decided to do what I had told Matt I would, I put a coat on and got out. The street were chaotic, I couldn't walk, so many people… I always hated crowds... I should have stayed in my apartment... but ok, I was already here anyway…

I was walking among that crowd at Times Square, watching those happy people, with their friends, their families, their loves… and even in the middle of that crowd, I've never felt so alone, that happiness didn't get to me… impossible not to think… what I wouldnn't give to be with David, with a bottle of champagne, counting down, getting drunk, laughing… I'd never forgive myself... and then started raining, but people seemed to get even more excited, even with the cold. I felt I couldn't stay there anymore, it was too much for me, I gave up. I decided to go back to my apartment, I wanted to be alone... I got into the house, turned the TV on, looked around, and changed my mind. I went to the terrace of the building, even though I wanted to be alone, I'd never miss the fireworks, I had never spent a New Year's Eve in New York… I didn't care about the rain, it was actually good. I lifted up my face, the water was running down I felt I was cleansing my soul...

There was less than 1 minute left to midnight. I was leaning on the edge of the terrace, looking at the people down there, so happy, counting down to celebrate New Year by kissing someone… and I couldn't stop thinking that if I hadn't screwed everything up, maybe he'd be there, celebrating with me… it was the first New Year I was spending without David.

20 seconds to go... I couldn't hold a tear, I was getting too emotional... 15 seconds... I'd give everything to just disappear, being nowhere... my heart was hurting...

11 seconds to go, countdown was about to start, and then I heard a voice behind me, a voice that made my heart stop.

"Are you still waiting?"

I got paralyzed. It was a dream, it wasn't possible. I turned around slowly, and there was David, all in Black, sweating, reddish and wet, breathless, but with a huge smile on his face. I didn't know what to do, I stood there, I tried to talk, but my voice didn't come out, I couldn't believe it was him, there, standing in front of me. It was a dream, obviously. I heard my own voice whispering.

"Always."

There was a firework in the Sky. I raised my head to see it explode, and was afraid to look down again, I was afraid he might not be there anymore. He didn't answer, was it really my imagination? Only a second had passed, it seemed an eternity. When the countdown reached 1 and I started hearing the screams and more fireworks, I lowered my head in time to feel his hand on my waist and the other one on my face, and finally his lips on mine.

I don't know if it was the longing, the doubts, the rain, the fireworks, the Times Square, but I had never felt anything like that, it didn't seem real, I wonder if I had imagined that so many times that I created an illusion… I felt chills in every inch of my body, and I was getting warm, even though we were soaked by the rain... my love for him was so huge I could explode…

We kissed each other for a long time, he didn't seem to want to stop, I guess he was feeling the same thing as me, he was trying to hold me tighter, he led my face, and at the same time he was going slowly, he seemed eager... I knew people were screaming and celebrating, I knew there were fireworks, that the New Year had arrived, but I didn't hear anything... everybody could disappear, the whole world could explode, and I wouldn't care… I tried not to think about the reason he was there, if he really had forgiven me or if it was just the moment, I just didn't want it to end, I wanted to enjoy every second, I didn't want to wake up, I had dreamed about that so many times and woke up feeling frustrated, I didn't want it to happen again, at the same time I knew it couldn't be real, I felt her scent, it had to be…

After a long time, he kissed me on the face, hugged me and whispered…

"Happy New Year."

* * *

><p><em>Guys, the fanfic is getting to an end (finally!) but there's still a few things to happen... don't forget to read David's version too, so you don't miss anything!<em>

_.net/s/7733962/1/Its_up_to_me_to_forget_


	57. Slow Motion

**Slow Motion**

We just held each other for several minutes, I didn't want to let him go and I felt the same from him... I felt his scent and the tears were rolling down, mixed with the rain... I couldn't believe he was here with me... please, don't let this be a dream... none of us said a word, it was not necessary.

A while later, I moved away to look at him. He was wearing black, gorgeous, as usual, even wet... his eyes were also red. We just stared at each other for a while and then I was able to say something… my voice was choking.

"Have you ever heard that in some countries, wearing black in New Year is bad luck?"

That's what I was able to say? Well, I couldn't think about anything better at the moment...

"I wouldn't call this bad luck..."

I smiled at him. And then, I went back to reality a little (even though it was a dream).

"Why did you come to New York, David?"

He got serious.

"Why do you think?"

I didn't answer, just looked at him. I was afraid to ask something else, I was afraid to hear the answer.

"So, are you gonna invite me in or what? I'm freezing out here... and so are you..."

He held me tight to warm me up. I took him to my apartment because he was right, I realized I'd freeze at any minute. We got in, I left him in the living room and went to turn on the heating. When I got back, he was taking his shoes and wet coat off, and was wearing just a shirt and pants. Oh God, these arms... I didn't know exactly what to do, what to say... he spoke first…

"Your apartment is lovely..."

He was looking around...

"Yeah... it's pretty small, what I can afford... but I love it... It's good for me."

I automatically turned the radio on, it was a habit.

"And it's close to Times Square..."

We spoke together...

"...like we always dreamed."

We laughed.

He just looked at me.

"Dave... if you wanna take a shower... change your clothes, I don't know… well, I guess you have no dry clothes, but I can at least give you a blanket so you don't freeze… in fact, where's your stuff? You came here with nothing?"

He laughed again.

"Of course not... I left my stuff in the first hotel I found... everything was getting wet..."

He got closer and put his arms around me again. I felt his breath inches away from my face.

"Actually, I don't need my dry clothes now..."

God, don't let this be a dream, and if it is, I want to sleep forever, it's not worth waking up... I heard the music on the radio, far away... .com/watch?v=CoSL_qayMCc my heart was beating so fast it might stop at any moment... I could only look him into the eyes, and he was doing the same...

"Still cold?"

My voice was no more than a whisper...

"Not even a little bit..."

"You know... looking at us wet reminds me of a scene that happened months ago... you remember?"

I stared at him for a few moments before answering.

"I remember it every day."

He ran his fingers through my face and just looked at me for a while. I still couldn't believe he was actually here, so close, it was too impossible… my body hurt just by looking at him, was it possible loving someone that much? I wonder if he had forgiven me... but you know what, that didn't matter now… all that mattered was what was about to happen…

He slowly took of my coat, and the other blouse that was underneath it, leaving me wearing only a tank top, I shivered a little bit, it was cold. I couldn't react, he could do anything he wanted with me... he started by kissing me quickly on the lips, then moved close to my ear, and all the way down to my neck and shoulder. My whole body was shivering, I couldn't resist and took his shirt off.

I missed that body... he gave me a dirty smile and unbottoned his jeans. I looked at him, he was running his hands on his wet hair, I could see a little bit of his black underwear, and he was barefoot… what a vision, my God! I had to remind myself to close my mouth. He laughed and pulled me closer for a kiss, and then picked me up. I stopped the kiss.

"What is this, David?"

"I guess at least this time we deserve something more comfortable than the garage or the living room floor..."

He took me to my room, which was not hard to find, my apartment wasn't exactly big. He laid me down on the bed slowly, and leaned on his arms, just looking at me. I ran my hand through his hair... he was unrecognizable, moving slowly, unlike that other David, who was always eager. And surprisingly, I actually liked that David, I had waited or that moment so long that I wanted to enjoy every moment, every second, every gesture. And I felt it was mutual. I was trying to understand what was going on, but seeing David so close to me, not angry, but wanting me again... I couldn't think much. Every kiss, every touch, every look, everything made me understand exactly why I loved him so much... it's tacky, but I felt this was what I needed to feel alive again, that period I spend without him was kind of a half-life, and now I was finally waking up. He was still going slowly, he gently finished taking my clothes off, and I tried to do the same, because I was kind of used to something wilder with him… he kissed my whole body, I could hear his sighs… I put my hand on his chest, and could feel his heart beating fast, just like mine.

And I realized I was in no hurry at all, I didn't know what was gonna happen after that, maybe he left, so I wanted our "unexpected meeting" (at least for me) to last as long as it could... sometimes he stopped just to look at me, running his fingers through my face... he kissed me, touched me as if the first time, we looked like 2 teenagers discovering something new and wonderful...

I felt his beard on my groin, I missed that so much, I knew only that beard mattered, any other... he started kissing me again, I ran my hands through his back, and then I finally felt him inside me, my whole body was chilling as he went faster, I emptied my mind completed so I could only focus on that moment… and then I finally felt him in ecstasy inside me.

He lay down next to me and I rested my head on his chest, he held me and covered both of us with the blanket. None of us said anything, being there, together, was enough. I could feel his breathing. I was very sleepy, tried to be awake, I didn't wanna sleep, because I didn't know how long that would last, I didn't wanna lose one second, but it was so comfortable and warm there that it was impossible to resist much longer, he was running his fingers through my hair, I don't know exactly when I fell asleep.


	58. Doubts

**Doubts**

When I woke up, I took a while to open my eyes. I had the most amazing dream... David had appeared at midnight and we got together… I had a collection of those dreams, it was already usual… I finally opened my eyes, and felt a little cold, but I was covered with a blanket… weird… I realized I was naked. My hair was still a little wet... everything was very weird. There was nobody there, but the pillow was crumpled… I got it and smelled it. It wasn't possible, his scent was there… this didn't happen in the other dreams… but then… it wasn't a dream? Impossible. Maybe I was still sleeping, that was the only explanation. I got up, put my robe on and went to the living room. My clothes were still on the floor… I heard a noise in the kitchen, so I went there.

David had his back to me, wearing only pants and barefoot, trying to make coffee, it was definitely a dream. He looked at me and smiled.

"Good morning! Happy New Year."

I smiled.

"You too..."

He came towards me and kissed me. I frowned at him. I couldn't believe that...

"What? Why are you looking at me like this?"

"This dream never ends?"

He looked confused.

"What dream?"

Wasn't it obvious?

"This is a dream, right? You can't be here for real!"

He was quiet for a while and then laughed.

"You know this isn't a dream. Look, I didn't want to wake you up, I'm trying to make breakfast with some stuff I found…"

I laughed.

"I'll help you."

We finished preparing breakfast and I set the table. We sat down, and I couldn't stop looking at him. He was even more handsome, if that was possible. Deep down, I knew it wasn't a dream, and I was afraid of what was going to happen. I wonder if he was going to leave. I was terrified of asking what he was doing here. But after we finished eating, I realized I couldn't pull that off anymore, I couldn't keep pretending everything was normal, that we hadn't had a fight, that he hadn't said he'd never forgive me, that we had spent all that time without talking to each other (unless at Adam's funeral). I took a deep breath to gather courage.

"David... let's get back to reality a little bit, shall we? If this isn't a dream, like you said, what is it then? You show up here out of nowhere and we get together as if nothing happened? Not that I didn't like it, obviously, but I don't understand anything… you decided to forgive me or it's just a one night thing, you're leaving now and not coming back? Is that a new way of punishing me for what I did? Because if it is, it's very cruel, I'm already suffering enough… I need to know, please, David..."

When I finished, a tear rolled down and I couldn't hold it. He dried it with his hand, and just stared at me for a while. And then he got up, and put his shirt on, which was on the floor.

"Anne, we need to talk, but first I need to go to my hotel, I have to get some stuff, I have nothing here, my clothes are still wet... so, I'll go there and then come back here so we can talk… is that okay?"

He caught me off guard...

"Okay, if that's what you want..."

He smiled.

"You wait for me?"

"Of course... you know I always wait for you, Bro..."

I haven't call him that in ages...

"And you promise to come back?"

I was really terrified he was really being cruel and wasn't coming back...

"I promise I'll come back, Sis..."

Hearing him calling me that made me feel a little relieved... it was like it was months ago...

"I'm waiting for you then."

He kissed me on the forehead and left.

Time was dragging by, I was walking around the room and seconds felt like hours… what if he didn't come back? I refused to look out the window. After about 15 minutes, I decided to take a shower, my hair was still a little wet. I finished my shower and he hadn't showed up yet, I was anxious, started walking around the room again. I looked out the window and there was no sign of him. I was getting a little desperate. But he had promised, and I knew him enough to know that if he would never break a promise. I tried to calm down.

I turned the TV on and tried to find something interesting, but I just couldn't focus. I washed the dishes from the breakfast, and cleaned he table. An hour and a half later, still no sign of him. I was getting more and more desperate, what if he had REALLY left? What if he hadn't forgiven me? What if he really had done all this to get back at me for everything I had done to him? I was already crying. It took me so long to recover from everything that had happened, I was here, trying to move on… of course I hadn't forgotten about him, but I was living… but if he had done this to me, everything would start again, I would be miserable again, maybe I'd even go back to Tulsa…

I considered calling him when the phone rang, I almost threw myself on the couch to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hi An! Happy New Year!"

My excitement vanished. I sat on the couch.

"Hi Matt... for you too..."

I love my brother, but I had never been so disappointed to hear his voice...

"Wow, can you show a little bit less enthusiasm? What, am I that undesirable?"

"It's not that Matt... nevermind."

"well... so tell me, did David get there on time?"

WHAT?

"What are you talking about Matthew? You knew David was coming?"

"Of course I did... who do you think gave him the address?"

I was going to kill him.

"And why didn't you tell me anything?"

"Because he wanted it to be a surprise... and I wouldn't ruin it, of course… I wish I had seen your face, he should have taken a picture! Well, tell me what happened, then…"

I told Matt (almost) everything that happened. And I also told him I was freaking out, because David was taking too long.

"Relax Anne, he'll show up, you'll see..."

"I don't know Matt, he should be here by now…"

"He will be there, don't worry... oh, and I have something to tell you too…"

"Tell me now, I wanna..."

I didn't finish the sentence. I heard a noise, and when I turned around, David was standing at the doorway.

"Matt, I call you back."

I hang up the phone and dropped it on the couch. I couldn't stop myself, I ran and jump on him.

"You're back!"

He hugged me and put me down.

"Didn't I promise I would?"

I smiled.

"Yes..."

"I'm sorry for taking so long, I took the subway and the power went out, I was stuck in there and couldn't call you…"

I was relieved. I was a fool, He had promised, David would never break a promise...

"It doesn't matter, you're here now..."

He kissed me.

When I looked down, I saw his baggage and the guitar case.

"You're moving?"

He smiled.

"Yeah... If you don't mind, I was thinking about staying here for a few days... you know, I'm kinda short of money for a hotel... can I stay over?"

"You can stay as long as you want, you know that."

"Good, since we decided that, I think it's time we talk a little, right?"

* * *

><p><em>Guys, there's just a few chapters left, and don't forget to read the other fic too, as usual! .nets/7733962/1/Its_up_to_me_to_forget_


	59. Explanations

**Explanations**

I got nervous. He pulled me by the hand and took me to the couch, we sit down and I waited.

"Anne, look... everything that happened... I was so angry, so, so angry... I couldn't believe you had done that to me, I felt betrayed, I know you were mad at me for what had happened in Hawaii, but that was not enough reason... I felt you had done that to get to me, I really didn't recognize you... I felt I would never be able to forgive you..."

I tried to keep staring at him. The images were coming back, I felt tears coming, but tried to hold them. I opened my mouth to say something, but he interrupted me.

"Wait for me to finish..."

He took a deep breath and went on.

"I tried to forget you. I did everything, and it was kinda easy at first, because the anger I was feeling was so huge that overshadowed any other feeling I might have… but after a while, I caught myself thinking about you all the time, and I tried to push away that thought, because I knew I HAD to be mad at you for everything you had done, and most of the time I just couldn't, and I was mad at myself for that, like when you fainted… I was really worried, but I used to tell myself I couldn't worry… and there was a time when I realized my anger was not so much for the fact that you slept with him itself, but that you may prefer him over me... I even wondered if you liked him, but didn't do anything about it because of me… I was going crazy, Anne, I didn't know what to think anymore, I was torn between being mad at you, the doubt about Who you really wanted and the desire of being with you again, and that was stronger than anything else, a lot of times… but I kept strong, I knew I'd be weak if I forgave you…

At this point, the tears were rolling down and I couldn't hold them anymore, everything that had happened after that day was coming to my mind...

"And what changed your mind?"

He got his backpack, opened it, and got something out of there. When I looked at his hand, my jaw dropped. It was the tape and the coaster. So he went there! I couldn't believe it... I started laughing between the tears...

"You were there!"

"Yes."

"But... you took so long, I saw your car in the garage, that's why I texted you… I waited for almost 2 hours, I thought you weren't going…"

"I was out with Andrew that day, he picked me up with his car, and I had forgotten my cell at home. When we were coming back, I saw smoke coming out of the old house, I thought someone had set fire to it… and I got home and saw your message... I freaked out..."

"You thought I was in there?"

"Of course! I thought you had done something stupid… so I ran there, and saw there was not much fire left in the fireplace, a lot of burned things and the tape and the coaster on the table… I went home, watched it and realized who you really liked, I saw you had learned a lot from that, I recognized the old Anne there and a new and better person. But still, I wasn't ready to forgive you yet… I thought about coming to NY so we could talk, but then Adam got sick…

He stopped talking, and I swallowed hard. We hadn't talked about it yet since the funeral. I held his hand between mine. He went on.

"And then I had to postpone everything else... Kelly reappeared... there were your birthday text and present... I almost replied, but I didn't know what to say, so I changed my mind... and then, you went to the funeral, and I was totally confused... I considered having something with Kelly again, but at the same time I couldn't stop thinking about you, I didn't know what to do... and then..."

"Then what?"

He smiled.

"Then I had a really interesting talk with Kelly."

I widened my eyes. Interesting talk? No, she couldn't have told him...

"What talk?"

"She told me you had talked to her... and asked her to stay with me and make me happy..."

My jaw dropped. It wasn't possible, she couldn't have done that!

"David... I had asked her not to..."

"She said she wasn't supposed to be telling me all of that, but she felt she should, don't be mad at her... she saw the video by accident, my mom wanted to show us an old video on Christmas, but she switched the tapes, so everybody saw it... and then, she figured everything out, why you had told her that... and she decided to tell me everything... I needed some days to think, I talked to Andrew too and realized I had forgiven you, you had changed a lot, and I missed you a lot too... and I admit it, I know I was being week and an idiot for forgiving what you had done, but I couldn't help it... I guess we both already suffered enough, it's time to get things right between us... again."

I was laughing and crying at the same time, I was so sure that would never happen, it was very surreal... but I had to be absolutely sure.

"So, you forgive me?"

He stared at me for a few moments before answering.

"Yes."

"And you're not gonna throw in my face what I did in our first discussion?

I also had to make sure about this, otherwise his forgiveness wouldn't be for real.

"I promise I won't. This is all in the past."

And then I realized I couldn't do that, I had caused him so much harm. He was being perfect with me, I didn't deserve his forgiveness, it was too much for me... I started crying.

"What's wrong, Anne?"

I tried to stop crying to say something but I couldn't, I don't know if he understood me.

"I don't deserve you, David!"

He didn't answer. I took a deep breath and calmed down a little. Then, I got it out of my chest.

"Dave... I made so many mistakes... so many... I made you suffer so much, I was so selfish, Dave... you deserve someone who only makes you happy, I'm all wrong, I only did you harm, really David, I'm awful... it's better if you find someone else, Kelly maybe..."

He interrupted me, grabbing my shoulders.

-ANNE! STOP IT!

I looked him in the eyes and broke down.

"Anne... don't be silly... I think I'm mature enough to decide what's good for me or not... ok, what you did was wrong, but I told you, it's in the past now! I'm no saint either, none of us are... and I don't have to find anyone else, forget about Kelly! I love you and it's you I must be with. Now quit it."

I took a deep breath. I loved him, even though I tried to convince myself we shouldn't be together, I loved him above all of this... I needed him, and since he had forgiven me, who am I to say otherwise? I smiled.

"Do you think we can make it this time?"

"We're in New York now... if we can make it here… we'll make it anywhere."

He ran his hand down my face.

"I told you, I Love you Sis... what can I do?"

I smiled, he kissed me. And went on.

"Anne... I can see you look much better now that you did when you fainted… but I was worried, Matt told me you weren't eating, and was getting worst… I was very worried, are you better now? Are you eating normally?

I stopped smiling. I didn't like to think about those "dark times". Now that I was feeling well, I'd rather leave that behind, but I knew he was worried, so I had to let him know I was alright.

"Dave, I told you that Day not to worry about me, I was gonna be fine... I did what I said, I got better and better and now I'm completely fine, I didn't want you to worry about me... I'm fine."


	60. Another Present

**68. Another present**

He looked at me in a strange way for a few seconds, he must be thinking about something, maybe something I said, but I had no Idea what it could be... I was going to ask, but I decided not to, I just waited. I thought he was gonna question something, but he changed the subject.

"I'm glad you're fine... now that you're already talked, I guess I need a shower, I didn't took one at the hotel... that tub in your bathroom seems tempting... wanna join me?"

He gave me that dirty smile.

"I just took a shower... but I guess I already need another one!"

I went to the bedroom to get some towels, and I heard him calling me, so I went back to the living room.

"What's up, David?"

"Anne, I have a surprise for you.

Another one?

"Another surprise, David? Didn't I have enough already?"

He laughed and pointed to his guitar, which was out of its case.

"Ok Dave... I'm familiar with your guitar already, it's no surprise to me."

"But it's not mine anymore."

He took the guitar and put it in my hands.

Wait! What?

"What are you talking about, Dave?"

"It's yours, Sis."

He's out of his mind.

"No, Dave! Are you insane?"

"Of course not... I'm to blame for you not having you guitar anymore, it's the least I can do Anne… I know you prefer a Strat, but a Les Paul is as good…"

Yes, he's definitely out of his mind.

"David, you can't be serious!"

"I totally am! It's yours!"

"No David, There's no way I'm taking your guitar! Never!"

"Anne, it's more than fair that I give you another one."

"David, I deserved you to break my Strat, you don't have to give me another one! I'm gonna save some money to buy a new one..."

Gee, I didn't deserve that...

"Anne, I WANT you to have this guitar!"

"But why Dave?"

"Because you learned how to play with this guitar... It's only fair that you have it... take it please..."

I was really getting emotional, I felt I was about to cry again…

"Okay, I guess a Gibson is as good as a Fender anyway..."

He laughed and hugged me. When he let me go he got something in his backpack and showed it to me.

"I didn't break this, see?"

It was the Ipod. I smiled.

"Oh, I put some new songs... your music taste was never very good..."

"Typical."

He laughed. We left the Ipod and he guitar on the couch and went to the bathroom.

Ever since the first time I saw that tub, i had imagined us both in there. Now that wish was finally coming true, we were sitting in there, in front of each other. And then, he asked the question.

"Anne... about the burnt things in the fireplace... you burned them? What was that?

he took me by surprise, I didn't expect him to have noticed that... I looked down and at him again.

"Don't you remember when I said in the vídeo that I had made a scenery to our conversation?"

he frowned for a while, and then widened his eyes, I knew I had to say no more.

"You... burned... everything?"

I took a deep breath.

"Yes. I didn't know what else to do to forget you, I thought maybe coming to New York alone wouldn't be enough, and maybe this would help… I didn't want anything that reminded me of you, I wanted to erase you from my mind completely when I came here… and it didn't work out, obviously.

I thought he would be mad, but he smiled, pulled me closer, I sat leaning my head against his chest.

"Well, I guess we're gonna have to start all over again, we have a coaster... you have a camera here, right? We can start today, using the city as a scenery... Times Square seems inviting... M&M's store too..."

I laughed. We stayed like this for a while, but since he had brought the subject up, another thing was bothering me. But I was afraid to ask, even though everything was okay now, I was afraid of the answer. I waited a while to gather courage. I took another deep breath.

"Dave... can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

I faced him.

"If you didn't think the house was on fire, if you had just got the message... would you have gone there anyway?"

He took a while to answer. He stared at me for a while, frowning again, and finally answered.

"I would have tried not to go, I would have tried to make myself believe it was not worth it, that I didn't care about anything you had to say... but of course I would have gone."

I smiled at him and laid my head on his chest again, he kissed the top of my head. There was nothing missing.

* * *

><p><em>Guys, the fic is not over yet, there's still the Epilogue to go, okay?<em>


	61. EPILOGUE  Permanent

**EPILOGUE**

_**PERMANENT**_

**_6 months later_**

Everything was under control. Even with all the preparation, there's always that fear that something may go wrong. My mom said everything was going according to the plan, my dad had already brought me the dress, and the suit for Matt, who was at David's. I called David, everything was going well in there too. But I still had butterflies, no matter what. This is a big day.

We spent the whole afternoon getting ready, the house was looking like a beauty salon, hairdresser, make up artists… of course we were late, when we were ready to go my mom said they were already there. We got to the church half an hour later, everything was beautiful, there were a lot of people in front of it. When they saw we had arrived, they all went inside. I saw David talking to some people, he was gorgeous...  
>When they were all in there, we got out of the car and went to the door, which was already closed.<p>

When I walked in, I look straight at the altar, David, Matt and Andrew were there. I gave Matt a quick smile, but I couldn't take my eyes off David, he was amazing, and smiling back at me… when I got to the altar, I walked up the steps and went to the other side, but facing him, I just couldn't stop take my eyes off of him. I only looked away when the song changed. I looked at the door, Rachel was walking down the aisle, she was so beautiful, her white dress was simple, but amazing. She was staring at Matt, and when I looked at him, I saw tears rolling down his face, and I couldn't hold mine, either. My irresponsible brother was growing up...

Everything happened so fast, Matt had proposed to her in New Year, and she said Yes, I was chocked but happy, they were made for each other. And they planned the wedding so fast, only 6 months... they were getting married in Tulsa, but would live in Chicago, Matt was going to work in Rachel dad's office. That was better, Chicago is closer to NY than Tulsa, I would get to see my brother more often and have a place to stay in town.

The ceremony was beautiful, I cried during the whole thing, and when Matt hugged me, I cried even harder, and laughed at the same time.

"Congratulations my little brother!"

"I told you I'd grow up someday..."

One more time, he held my face between his hands.

"I Love you."

I wiped away a tear rolling down his face.

"So do I, always."

We went to the party, I danced with Matt, my dad, Rachel's dad, Matt again and a lot of other people. I was tired, my feet were killing me, I sneak out, sat in the table and took my shoes off. A few minutes later, David joined me.

"Tired?"

"Yeah... I danced a lot, I came here to rest a little bit…"

"You're not gonna dance with me?"

I laughed.

"In five minutes!"

"I'm gonna wait here, okay?"

"Of course."

I was just looking at him, lost in thoughts.

"What?"

"Nothing... just thinking about everything we went through... it's unbelievable that nothing bad happened this last months… it's a record!

He laughed.

"For sure... what was our previous record? A week?

"Something like that... you know how I feel? As if this was a movie and this is the final scene... the "happy ending" with the wedding was not exactly ours, but I guess we can consider ourselves as the main characters… after all, nobody went through so many things as we did, it was totally like a movie… childhood friends who realize there's more than friendship between them and go through a lot of things to finally be together in the end…"

"So, this is the end?"

I stared at him before answering.

"For me, it's only the beginning."

He kissed me.

"And when are you gonna play?"

We looked at the guys from his band, they were stealing a tray full of drinks from the waiter. We both laughed.

"In a few minutes I guess... Matt will let me know... so, shall we dance?"

"Yes."

The DJ was playing watch?v=5WWT9oarq18 , and we danced together. It was so good to be this close to him, feel his scent… I'd never take this for granted again.

After a while, he looked over my shoulder and asked...

"Can you see ourselves like them?"

I looked back to see who he was talking about. Matt and Rach, dancing and talking, close to us. I wondered for a while.

"You know Dave... I already imagined a lot of times, me walking down the aisle in White and you, waiting for me at the altar... but now... I don't anymore."

He was confused.

"So you don't wanna be with me anymore?"

I laughed.

"Of course I do... I love you, you know that..."

He didn't answer for a while.

"So, what do you wanna do, Sis? You want us to formalize our relationship?"

I took a while to answer too.

"I don't want that either..."

He seemed a little confused.

"So, what do you wanna do, then?"

I lowered my head and smiled.

"I have no idea." I looked at him. "And you know what... I'm very happy this way."

He smiled back.

"I know what you mean... I felt that way too."

"I don't wanna think about how we're gonna be tomorrow. Tomorrow doesn't exist for me, all that matters is now, I wanna live today with you… as a woman, or a friend, or a sister… Dave, it doesn't matter how we're gonna be... we're always gonna have each other, that's enough. I just love not knowing."

We danced for a while until he breaks the silence.

"What if tomorrow we decide to be together for real?"

"Then, we make it official."

"And what if there's nothing left tomorrow?"

We danced for a while. I loved David and he loved me back. It was enough for me and I knew it was for him too. It was not only a love between a boy and a girl, it was a friend love, a fraternal love. As I said, we belong with each other forever, it was the most right thing, it was simple, it was natural. We couldn't be without each other and we knew that. What we had was special, a connection that would last forever. I smiled when I answered…

"What we have is permanent."

He smiled back and kissed me. And we heard a voice...

"HEY!"

I didn't even have to look to know it was Matt. I laughed with myself. He would never learn...

"I'm sorry guys, Dave, you're gonna play in 3 minutes!"

By the look on Dave's face, he had completely forgotten.

"Gee, I completely forgot..."

I knew it...

He said he was already going and Matt went back to the stage. Dave looked at me.

"Play a song with me?"

"Sure!"

We went to the stage together and he told Andy to get off.

"Which one is it gonna be, Bro?"

"How about_ **Hey Soul Sister**_?"

"That says a lot."

I got the guitar and took my place on the stage, by his side. I started playing, he looked at me and blinked, I smiled at him. The show was only beginning.

**THE END.**

* * *

><p><em>Guys, thank you so much for reading my fan fic, as you already know, I love it very very much, it was such a pleasure to write it and translate it into english. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I do, if you wanna let me know how you liked it, leave a review, I'll love it. there's still the last chapter of David's version to go, I'll post it soon.<em>

_there's another fanfic I wrote about David, actually I wrote it before this one, it's very smaller, maybe 2 or 3 chapters, maybe I'll translate and post it too, we'll see. _

_Again, thanks for reading it! See ya!_


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